How To Make Her Ejaculate
This Is The Wettest And Wildest Thing You Can Get Your Girl To Do
We won’t judge you for being curious (we are, too): Can women really, um, squirt? You’ve seen it in so many pornos you’ve lost count and when you talk to that one dude who always brags about his sex life (and his size), he can’t stop going on-and-on about how he makes his girlfriend ‘come’ every time they get naked. Yes, you can make your girlfriend ejaculate. But while squirting — or its actual term, female ejaculation — isn’t a myth or impossible, it’ll take some true studying of her body, practice and being very comfortable with a big mess (hey, she’s been putting up with yours all this time) to make magic happen in the bedroom.
“Before talking about squirting, it’s important to know a little bit about the female anatomy,” psychologist and sexual expert Dr. Rachel Needle says. “Female ejaculation is characterized by the expulsion of a significant quantity of fluid from the woman’s urethra during orgasm. Many people refer to this as ‘squirting’ or ‘gushing.'”
So how do you make your girlfriend squirt? Experts give you the dirty run-down on female ejaculation, along with some things you likely never knew about your leading lady’s body parts:
1. What’s Happening, Physically?
It might seem sexy to ‘turn on a girl so much that she squirts’ — but without knowing the physical reasons that her body is responding in this way, it’ll be hard to begin the process of helping her orgasm in such a powerful way.
“Female ejaculation is often associated with the G-spot, which is said to be located in the anterior vaginal wall, halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the cervix along the urethra. While everyone has heard of the G-spot, many people don’t know about the Skene’s glands,” Needle explains. “Skene’s glands are sometimes referred to as the ‘female prostate” for anatomical analogy. The male prostate is responsible for generating most of the content of seminal fluid. By analogy, the ‘female prostate’ is thought to produce the content of female ejaculate.”
Makes sense, right? Though you can likely stimulate most every woman’s G-spot, causing them to feel a deeper, more intense pleasure during intercourse, fingering play or oral sex, Needle notes that not every woman’s Skene’s glands (remember: the female prostate that produces liquid like your prostate) are developed enough to make large quantities of female ejaculate. Also, your girlfriend might not even know that you’re starting to engage those glands because for most women, the sensation feels the same as if she was about to urinate, so they naturally hold back.
2. Does Squirting Mean It’s The Best Orgasm Ever?
During intercourse or oral sex, the moment that feels the absolute best for you is when you’re releasing into your girl (or on her somewhere) — but that same moment might be as intense as it is for women, even if they are releasing female ejaculate. In fact, sex experts will tell you that while the challenge may be pretty hot for you, it’s important to remember that for women, a great orgasm is a great orgasm, and doesn’t require a liquid release to be pleasurable.
“There is little evidence that stimulating the G-spot or an ejaculatory orgasm is more enjoyable or intense. More lubrication is not equivalent to greater orgasmic intensity or pleasure, and emitting a fluid is not prima facie evidence for greater arousal or more pleasure,” Needle explains. “Most women don’t ejaculate with orgasm, and their orgasms and sexual response are still just as pleasurable as those who do.”
3. How Do You Make It Happen?
Even though it might not be the most extreme orgasm of her life, if you want to try to see if you can get her to squirt (or she’s curious too!), it can be a fun way to shake up your go-to sexual routine with a goal in mind. Before any clothes come off or anyone touches anyone, the biggest factor to pay attention to is relaxation. It can be difficult for a woman to allow herself to let go and be in the moment, and any holding back will prevent her from releasing tension that leads to female ejaculation.
“After she uses the restroom — so she’s not worried about urinating when she’s actually about to squirt — tell her to lay back, relax and enjoy the sensations she feels.This is where foreplay comes in,” Dr. Melissa Fogel, psychologist and clinical sex expert, suggests. “Foreplay is important not only to ensure she is sufficiently relaxed, but in order to make a girl squirt her G-spot needs to be adequately simulated for a prolonged amount of time.”
4. Don’t Be Afraid Of Lube
Fogel says that while you might want her to just be wet out of pure pleasure, there’s no shame in having as much lube as possible to start engaging her body for a long time. “Using enough lubrication is important to make her G-spot ready and to prevent any discomfort that may arise due to friction,” she suggests. “A water-based lube works best. Make sure not only to apply it to the outside and inside of her vagina, but to your fingers and palm as well. Once everything is sufficiently wet, you can start working on her G-spot.”
To get started with the right type of lube, make sure you check the ingredients before applying any product to your most sensitive areas. While we can’t guarantee your body’s reaction, if you stick with these lubricants that are water-based, you will more than likely be safe. And hey, if it happens, see a doctor ASAP and do not be embarrassed — chances are good that they’ve seen it all!
K-Y Liquid Personal Water Based Lubricant, 5 Ounce
Obviously, your mom is one in a million, and Kate Spade thinks so too. The brand, known for their delightfully optimistic leather goods and accessories, created the perfect mom-you-rock necklace. On the front, her initials (be it her first name or your family name) are carved into 12k-gold. On the back, the statement “one in a million”, because, you know, she is.
$9.74 at Walmart.com
System J0 Personal H20
As the name suggests, this is a water-based lubricant meant for safe, slippery play. Though it is made with aqua, reviewers say that it feels more like a silicone lube, leaving you and your lady feeling moisturized instead of just-showered. This lube is also known to last longer and keep you hydrated under your belt for whenever you’re up for some more action together. It won’t not get sticky and washes off easily, just in case you need to make it to your dinner reservation or the office, stat. You might even consider bulk buying options, if you plan on using lube frequently in your sex life (and ahem, you should, for the sake of both of your bodies).
$8.99 at Walgreens.com
5. Really Nurture The G-spot
Once you’ve done all the prep work, now you’re actually in for the hard work of getting her to the point of squirting. Because female ejaculation can only really happen when you spend an extended amount of time — think up to an hour — focused solely on her G-spot, make sure you’re prepared for a lot of trial and error. Fogel recommends beginning with oral and finger play.
“Use oral sex to stimulate and arouse her clitoris. After doing this for a few minutes, insert your middle finger inside her; palm facing up. With your finger in about two inches deep, rub her front vaginal wall using a ‘come hither’ motion. After using this motion for several minutes you can add your middle finger and experiment with different amounts of pressure and movement,” Fogel explains. You’ll know that this combination of oral sex and fingering is working when her G-spot becomes enlarged and feels spongy. This means that the frontal wall of her vagina is swollen with liquid from those Skene’s glands, Fogel says.
Using a toy can give your hand a rest, while also sending her orgasm into overdrive. Since most women need extra assistance to reach their highest peaks of pleasure, buying a few toys designed specifically for her infamous G-spot is a great investment in your sex life. From the “rabbit” that everyone (and their brother and mother) has heard of, to super-sleek and kind of complicated sex toys, see which one fits the pleasure goals for your relationship and go from there. We suggest you try these to get yourself started:
A&E Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit
Of all the sex toys ever created, the Rabbit is the most well-known and, often, the most loved. First made popular by Sex & The City, this sex toy does all of the action that you want it to, and reaches her most sensitive and erotic areas with ease. It dual-vibrates on both her clit and G-spot, and offers her seven different speeds to choose from, depending on what, ahem, tickles her fancy. It is also waterproof, in case you want to take all of that energy into the shower.
$49.95 at AdamEve.com
Nirvana 350 Triple Stimulator
Warning: this baby is only for those who are ready to take up their sexual game a really, really big notch. In fact, if your girlfriend has ever been intrigued by the idea of dual penetration but didn’t want to sleep with anyone other than you, this might be the super-hot device that lets her experience it. There are three parts: a curved tip that massages her G-spot (and your shaft), a clit stimulator that has tiny “pleasure nubs” that rub against her trigger point, and a smaller backdoor vibe for anal play. Turn this one and get her ready for one hell of an orgasm. For this device, it is essential to use plenty of lube and to give your girlfriend the driver’s seat. Because there’s so much going on, especially for her, you do not want to push or vibe too hard and make her uncomfortable, or worse, cause her pain.
$39.95 at AdamEve.com
Flamenco Jelly Caribbean Vibe
Going on vacation, or just want to feel like you are in your sex life? Enter this amazing vibrator that legit means business when it comes to getting to your gal’s g-spot. Made for those who want to keep it simple and sexy, this vibrator has one purpose and one purpose only: to get her off via the big G. It is softer than most vibrators (hence the “jelly”) and it’s flexible, making it feel like your penis, but with a curved tip to get to where you want to go. It’ll insert up to 7 and a ½ inches, so make sure to take it easy and let her pick her position.wer.
$19.95 at AdamEve.com
6. When She Squirts
Once you’ve gotten to this point, it’s time to switch the position of your hands. This switch will continue to stimulate her G-spot and will get her to the point of squirting whatever liquid she is able to produce. “Move your hand so that your palm is resting on her clitoris with your fingers inside her, as if you are cupping her clit,” Fogel says. “Now, begin to move your entire hand up and down, which will hit her G-spot with your fingers at the same time you are stimulating her clitoris with your lubricated palm.”
This is the time when you watch her react so you can maintain a steady rhythm and pace, as you apply more and more pressure to her G-spot. This is the point when she should release female ejaculate. “You may need to remind her to relax by telling her to ‘let go,'” Fogel says. “As an added bonus to ensure she squirts, you can use your other hand to press on the area below her belly button, which will make her squirt more easily.”
Of course, if she doesn’t end up squirting, don’t be too disappointed. This isn’t something that comes naturally to every woman. And if she does, enjoy the clean-up!