Method 2 of 3: During a Date
Set the mood. If you can control the environment at all, taking these little steps will help the atmosphere seem more sexy and intimate
- Keep the lighting dim. If you’re at home, use soft lamps, or light some candles.
- Manage the temperature. If it’s a little chilly, you’ll have the opportunity to lend her your jacket or have her snuggle up to you.
- Make it a safe space. “Safe” as in, an area where she feels comfortable being close to you. Sitting in your dirty apartment while your roommate loudly discusses football does not count.
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Touch her in small, sexy ways. Yes, you’ll probably have to be the one to break the touch barrier, but you can do it. It’s easier than it seems. Here are a few suggestions for different situations:
- If you’re standing or walking, rest your hand on the small of her back (where her spine curves inward, just above her butt). Keep your pressure light and gentle. This is a better alternative to sloppily throwing your arm around her shoulders.
- If you’re sitting next to her, lightly rest your hand on her knee for a few seconds. This is best if you do it while you’re talking to her, so both of you aren’t awkwardly watching you touch her and move away. Let it linger for a moment while you continue to speak, then slowly pull it back. Or, if you don’t think you’re coordinated enough to talk coherently and touch her at the same time, try it during a movie.
- If she’s standing close to you, put your arm around her waist. Rest your hand (again, lightly) just above her hip, in the curve of her waist.
- Don’t just go with the cliché arm-around-the-shoulders. Instead, drape your arm down her back, so that your hand is resting where her shoulder meets her neck. If that seems like it’s going well, you can lightly run your thumb across the back of her neck.
Offer her a foot rub or shoulder rub. Most people, let alone most women, won’t turn down a free massage. If you’re in a casual setting where this is possible, like sitting on the couch watching a movie, go for it.
- If you’re giving her a foot rub, focus on one foot at a time. Cradle it in both hands, and keep your movements slow while applying medium pressure. If she closes her eyes or sighs, you’re doing it right.
- If you’re giving her a shoulder rub, resist the temptation to immediately put your fingers under her shirt, Instead, use your thumbs on her bare neck while your other fingers rest on her covered shoulders, almost touching her collarbones. Again, keep your motions slow and aim for medium pressure.
- Up the ante. If the massage is going well and you can tell she’s receptive, try expanding your territory. For instance, if you’re giving her a foot rub, try slowly moving up to her calves. If you’re giving her a shoulder rub, try moving your hands down her spine, keeping your thumbs focused on the muscles around it.
- Stop before she’s ready for you to. The point here is to get her enjoying and wanting your touch. If you stop in the middle of an awesome massage, she’ll instinctively want to find ways to get the stimulation going again. Time it so that you know she’s enjoying herself, but she’s nowhere near bored or satiated.
Let her come to you. Once you’ve broken the touch barrier and shown her you’re interested, it’s on her to do a little bit of the work. See if she sits close to you, nudges you, or otherwise makes excuses to touch you. If she does, you’re on the right track. If not, try revisiting the previous steps once or twice and see if that warms her up.
- Keep the “90-10 rule” in mind. You’re willing to start the interaction and do 90% of the work, but she has to meet you on the last (and most important) 10%. For instance, if you go in for a kiss, you initiate it and move in most of the way — but make it so that she has to lean in the last little bit and actually start the kiss.
Give her a mind-blowing kiss. If all of her signals so far have been positive, go in for the kiss. Amp up your usual technique by:
- Keeping it light and slow at first. Gently graze your lips over hers on the first pass, and put your tongue away for the first few kisses.
- Doing the right things with your hands. You could rest them lightly in the curves of her waist, put them on her shoulders, or tangle them up in her hair and put them on the back of her head. All three are good.
- Knowing when to transition to French kissing. Start by lightly running your tongue over her bottom lip. If she opens her mouth more, go in. If not, save it for another time.