Love is relative. It could mean sex to some; kissing to others and a whole lot of foreplay to yet others. But, the one thing that stays true to all these three is that love, my dear friend, is an art. A well-performed, indulgent form of art that can only be mastered by the innate feeling of it all. Emotional or purely physical is another debate altogether. When you’re in bed with a woman; what you’re primarily doing to her is making love; making her feel things she may or may not have felt before. You instill in her feelings, no matter how momentary, or everlasting they might be.
When you’re in bed with a woman you’re creating art—a poem, a song, a story, or a painting. You’re creating energy and movement that makes even the disbelieving woman believe; the atheist convert and the angered calm their nerves.
So how do you take a woman to your bed, and not have sex but make love to her, instead?
You start by taking her out—to a fancy place. Treat her like a queen. Open the champagne, pour her a glass, pull the chair out for her; hold the door. Ask her what her tastes and preferences are. Look into her eyes. Smile at her. Take her hand. Go for a drive. Ask her what she wants to do. Let her tell you what she wants to do. Let her be and let her in. Take her home. Offer her a beverage; water, maybe. Play some soft music. Ask her if she’s comfortable. Touch her arm lightly. Lean in while you talk to her. Ask her questions about herself. Notice how she laughs or smiles at something you say. Hold her gaze. Lean in a bit more. Touch her cheek. Tell her she’s beautiful. Kiss her softly; yes, on her lips. Don’t make it hard. Keep it soft. Linger. Pull away a little. Let her see you. Let her lean in. Kiss her again. Let your lips linger. Take the lead and let her follow. Pull her close; hold her by the waist. Don’t force the touch; let it come naturally. Let her come closer. Notice her body language. Notice how she moves. Hold her in your arms; gently. Trail a finger down her back. Feel the fabric of her dress on your skin. Run your fingers through her hair. Trail a finger along her jawline; hold her chin up to yours.
Then, take her by the hand. Light a fire—in the room and in her. Take your time. Linger. Kiss her more; passionately, now. Let her know she is wanted. Let her know you want her. Right there, right then. Let her want you back. Right there, right then. Slowly undo her dress, like your sculpting a statue; like you’re teaching her to break free. Notice how her body shifts right into your arms. Let her unbutton your shirt; let her take her time. Never stop kissing her. Linger on her lips. Take her hands in yours and let your fingers entwine. Gently stroke the nape of her neck; gently kiss her neck.
Carry her in your arms and lead her to the bedroom. You can make love in any part of the house; but it should always start in the bedroom. Lay her down on your bed. Admire her in that moment; like you’re grateful she’s with you. Let her know you feel lucky to be with her right then. Don’t hesitate—not for a second; not for a minute. Let her know you’re sure of this; of yourself. Let her know what you want to make her feel, And then, make her feel all of it. With every move and every touch, don’t leave her eyes or her lips. Treat her. Really treat her—to the time of her life. Make it about her.
Love—emotional or physical—is all about giving. It’s all about expressing what you want. When you’re taking a woman, you’re giving to her one of the utmost pleasures of the world. You want her to feel special; not because of you, but, because she deserves to. When you’re taking a woman, you take all the time in the world—as long as she wants you to. Making love is about being there; in the act. It’s not a means to an end. The means is the end. And that’s what makes the ending even better.
Remember, she is there because she wants to be there. Not because you make her want to be there; not because she needs you. So when you make love to a woman, like a real man, you are really just saying ‘Thank you, for being here.’
So when you make love to woman, like a real man should, you let her in so she can let you in.