Avril Alexander by Katren Sudek for Enrapture Jewelry Lookbook (2017). Avril Alexander is an Australian model
Having trouble with doing doggy with girlfriend. Is there a point when to just throw in the towel on things you’re not able to do sexually?
Hi everyone. I’ve been with my girlfriend for several years and we both have a pretty good sex life. We both find each other sexually attractive and work with what we have. While we’re both sexually happy at the time, I’m a little personally frustrated with myself and just the facts of the matter that I’m not entirely endowed.
I’m about a little over 4.5 inches and with my girlfriend is black, she fits into the more voluptuous butt and hips ratio, which has made it harder to work with certain positions for us.The only one position tends to work extremely well is cowgirl, which shes able to orgasm from PIV.
Now, she’s not super into me going down on her, or finger play / masturbation, so I’m not able to extend those offers to her, but we’ve tried missionary (awkwardly) and a few others, but our body differences make getting comfortable and trying to find a certain sweet spot really frustrating. The one position I really enjoy; doggy.
Now, I’ve read various ways of propping her up under a pillow, edge of the bed etc, but it’s still not enough to get in, let alone for us to be comfortable.
I’m not sure how to go about this, as while I’ll probably resign to the fact unless we lose a lot of weight, this may be a losing battle. Is there just a point where you except the fact that some things are off the table?
TL:DR: Larger girl, smaller guy body differences prevent doggy from being a possibility. Is there a time when you just stick with what works an resign to branching out due to physical limitations?
carc_35: Yeah. Some bodies just don’t work together in certain positions. My ex love to be pounded doggy, but it’s very uncomfortable for my wife. We have just decided that position doesn’t work with our body types.
inkedblonde13: Try propping her on pillows but also if she completely drops her shoulders to the bed (so rather than being on all 4’s, she’s on her knees with her top half laying in the bed) that will change the angle of her pelvis allowing you to penetrate her (further?). Hope it helps if you haven’t tried it
mrs-goldenface: Hmm. I’m going to try and help here, but chances are you’ve already tried my suggestion. But, as someone who loves the doggy position, I gotta help a fellow out, just in case.
Idk if this position has a name or not, it was randomly asked of me w/ a previous partner and then I introduced it to my current SO and it’s become one of his favorites….mine, too.
Basically, have her lay on her stomach, legs together, get up behind her, like you’re going to give her a back massage or something, (you don’t have to spread her butt BUT it does help so know what hole you’re going for, since your lady doesn’t like the butt stuff, I’d make sure I knew where I was putting it so I didn’t send her into a tizzy) and slide your dick in that way. Keep her legs closed, it gives a better sensation for both parties, in our opinion, and it’s another form of the doggy position. I hope this makes sense and good luck! If not, I’m happy to try and describe it differently!
bubonis: Is there that point? Yes, but where that point is depends on your interest and enthusiasm. Simply put — and I’m not trying to tear you down or shame you at all — you and your partner need to decide “well, this is all we’re good at” or “we need to lose weight”. The latter is (IMO) preferable but of course it’s all up to you and your partner.
You may also want to consider the “leg glider” position.
k-lear: Please excuse for being explicit, but have you tried spreading her cheeks before you enter her?
Also, you can also try eating her out in that position
Dysturbed7: If you don’t mind the lack of sensation and still want to participate in that position you may consider a penis extension sleeve. It is used for this kind of stuff and erectile disfunction as well but it’s can help you achieve positions you previously couldn’t.
thenshesays: how about reverse cowgirl with her leaning over more and supporting herself up with her hands between your legs? It’s not doggy, but you get a similar view 🙂
saksophone: Are you *sure* you have a “pretty good” sex life? You don’t mention your preferences in detail, but not getting to give much oral or manual stimulation or have sex in the only position you really enjoy doesn’t sound that great?
Don’t get me wrong, you sound like a great, giving partner, but it’s natural to have desires and needs and want them met.
As for sex position advice, have you had her bend over from a standing position one leg spread out and to the back, on a chair? Or her lying down on the edge bed, legs in splits position, you thrusting from behind?
Kevinmac59: I’ve had issues with doggie style. It’s just odd trajectory for us. She has to get those shoulders down on the the mattress, stick that gorgeous ass in the air, and stick it out like she wants it. Even then we’ve had some issues!!! Grrrr
Ironicbanana14: If you’re really set on it, I think there are toys that can help. Like a strap on that goes over your dick to add some length but helps stimulate you at the same time. That’s if you’re super dedicated tho. Sometimes it just doesnt work, but I would explore other avenues as well, maybe you can discover something that works great and that you like just as much.
evie_ohhhh: Are you both overweight? How overweight are we talking? No shaming here, just trying to visualize and problem solve.
Are you guys happy with the way things are or is the lack of variety bothering you? Because if you’re both happy, why change anything?
Reverse cowgirl is a good idea.
Can she get on her knees on the edge of the bed, knees wide, ass out and shoulders down? You’re standing behind her, thrusting.
Can she ride you like she’s bouncing on a pogo stick? It’s hard on the knees, but nice.
Have you tried it facing her, with her sitting on the kitchen or bathroom counter, legs wrapped around you?
Have you broached the no finger/mouth/ass play? Maybe she’d reconsider if it’s important to you.
Wulfwinterr: She has to spread her legs wide, arch her back and keep her chest down on the mattress.
Also, maybe try it with her on the edge of the bed and you standing behind her. I find that if I’m on my knees behind her I slide out easily – but if I’m standing (at the right height) behind her I can control things a lot better.