How do I get over my body insecurities in order to feel confident and comfortable during sex?
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. The relationship is amazing. Our sex is spectacular. However, I always feel so shy and slightly insecure about my body.
My boyfriend has never once said anything to belittle me or give me reason to be insecure. If anything he motivates me to be more comfortable with my body and accept myself. I would say that I’m not fat, I just have a small belly from bloating lol. I’m not too tall. I have a nice big ass and some decent boobs. I am starting to workout and diet. And from reasons I won’t disclose here I have self harm scars on my legs that my boyfriend has made clear he doesn’t mind them, nor is judgmental about them.
I know my boyfriend is in love with me for me but I want to be able to fully enjoy our sex. Not that I already don’t enjoy it, we have some amazing sex. I just want to be able to give my full potential so I can blow his mind. I want to be able to have the confidence to wear sexy lingerie. Most of the time during sex I can’t orgasm vaginally because I’m focused more on how insecure I feel. It does make me feel like less of a woman which is why I want to change it. Is there anyone out there who has had the same problem with their
My insecurities stem from my childhood and they continued into my relationships as an adult and eventually led into my sex life. That’s the one I can’t fully get over.
How can I manage to get over this so I can fully enjoy sex? How can I spice up the bedroom to blow my bfs mind? Any tips on how to orgasm vaginally?
26nymph: I feel you. I’m in the same boat.
I’m on the larger side tho, but my boyfriend specifically loves chubby girls. And knowing that still doesn’t help my insecurities, because of how I look in my eyes. I can’t cum either, I think the only time I did was when he fingered me in complete darkness and I was able to let it go.
Maybe start trying with complete darkness if you can? We went to stay in a little cabin in the woods :3
Eejtna: About the Lingere stuff, just for it. The First time I wore stuff like that I totally saw and felt myself different,defenetly more sexy and confident. I did not show it my SO at that Point,just got comfortable with it and to realise how hot I can look,even tho my confidense in myself is pretty Low. Trying won’t Hurt.
Eejtna: About the Lingere stuff, just go for it. The First time I wore stuff like that I totally saw and felt myself different,defenetly more sexy and confident. I did not show it my SO at that Point,just got comfortable with it and to realise how hot I can look,even tho my confidense in myself is pretty Low. Trying won’t Hurt.
fulanoderock: Lingerie can’t definitely help you feel sexier and more confident while at the same time help you get more confident in getting completely nude. My wife didn’t have the emotion issues you have, but she was still very shy and embarrassed when getting naked. So much so that she would turn off all the lights. Lingerie helped her feel sexy and eventually led to her feeling awesome being naked.
jacksabbath84: Just put it in ur head that he loves u for u. My wife has had 3 kids. 3 sections. Her body is nothing like when we met. Boobs butt n belly are bigger. N I love it. She not fat but she is in her eyes. I tell her that I love her big ass sitting on my face. N I really do. Accepthis love for ur body n don’t try to make urself into something else. We don’t all want a flat belly model. I’ll take full figure every time. Be confident
TheoreticalCall: Most women don’t orgasm from PIV, so I wouldn’t chalk that up to your insecurities. It’s just how most of us are. Sometimes the Coital Alignment Technique can help with that.
I think being amazing in the bedroom is first about attitude, and less about technique, by that I mean most men seem like they’d rather have a woman who is fully open, enthusiastic and free about sex than a woman who is technically skilled but isn’t free and open. So if you can work on releasing the inhibitions, it’s likely his satisfaction will go up – men experience love through sex, and if you’re *completely, passionately immersed* in it with him, he’ll feel so loved he’ll think it was amazing.
that said, here’s a great site you might enjoy and perhaps will offer a perspective on your body and sexuality that you find beneficial: www.dodsonandross.com
_why_do_U_ask: > I know my boyfriend is in love with me
It seems he as well as many other see what you will not. He would not be sleeping with you for 3 years and enjoying your company if he did not adore your body. Only you can solve your problem. Please do it now, as you mature it will fester and be a problem. Accept yourself, your lover does.
661towman: Can you post a picture of yourself, however you feel comfortable, sometimes if you hear people saying how good ,beautiful and sexy you are could be a way to boost your confidence.
CuriousOptimistic: Well, I don’t know that my experience is typical, or if any of these things would feel ok to you but I can tell you what worked for me, not in any particular order.
Post sexy pics of yourself on the internet – I was very insecure about my tiny breasts which according to me nobody could ever find attractive. At the urging of my SO I posted a pic he swore was sexy and I swore was yucky. When dozens of men with no vested interest saw them and agreed with him, I thought maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t lying or wrong, maybe I was.
Related: look at pictures of real naked women (such as on a lifestyle site). You will start to see all sorts of women who are sexy. Fat women and slim, short or tall, with birthmarks and cellulite and stretch marks and scars. This will help you see that there is no one way to be sexy! The vast majority of women in the real world have poochie tummies! The only reason we don’t thing this is normal and sexy is because we are bombarded daily with airbrushed pictures of actresses and models. Spend some time looking at real women.
Shift your focus from what your body looks like, to what it feels like and what it can do. You know why your tummy looks like that? So you can carry a baby and not starve. The ability to bring life into this world is a goddamned MIRACLE. Even if you don’t want to have children, it’s still pretty awesome when you think about it. When you’re having sex and these thoughts intrude,think about what you can do do with your body. Can you wiggle your ass and watch his eyes light up? Can you ride him hard and make you both cum like crazy?
Lastly, force yourself to really take in how your partner sees you. When he says, “damn baby, you’re so gorgeous,” fight that auto response that says, “oh, no, I’m too…”. Force yourself to say, “thank you,” without qualifying it! When you’re naked and you think, “oh god, what do I look like?” resist the temptation to look at yourself, and look in your partner’s eyes instead. Just take in the look on his face, without judgement. Because guaranteed, the look on his face says, “this is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen OMG.” Just try in that moment to let it in, to let yourself feel what he feels, and see yourself in his eyes.
Good luck! It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Emmazes: Is sex the only time he sees you naked? Try sleeping naked, cooking naked, taking showers together etc etc.
Put on some high heels and nothing else (not all the time just as a novelty) and then take charge.
Also, no matter your size none of us feel like doing much after large, heavy meal. Sometimes I just feel so gross after fried food or something that makes me gassy. It’s not about your appearance it’s just simply how this food makes you feel. So on a night you wanna do it maybe keep that in mind!
Being comfortable with your body is easier said than done, I know. Sounds like you have a great man so just get down and have fun!
Krisatin: I will help you x