What is the kitchen if not an extra room in which to have sex? You probably have like four plates that you actually use, a spiralizer collecting dust that you swore you’d try someday, a dozen soy sauce packets in your pantry, and that’s about it — if you’re truthful. Seamless is bae and, in the meantime, the kitchen is more likely to be used for more important things — like sex.
“The kitchen is your own science lab because most of the products in there can be used for sex,” says Megan Stubbs, a certified sexologist in Grand Rapids, Michigan. There are so many tools, surfaces, and foods to take advantage of when you’re having sex, you just probably haven’t thought of it yet, Stubbs asserts.
You might be thinking, I don’t need to have kitchen sex, I have a bed! But don’t write it off just yet. “Having sex in the kitchen can make a memory for you and your partner,” says Michelle Hope, a certified sexologist in New York City. “When you’re not having a great time in your relationship, you can always have your memory of the kitchen counter, because it keeps it playful and fresh.”
Before you jump on your gas burner and get banging, you have to plan — and after you do it once in the kitchen, you won’t be able to look at your utensils the same way ever again. Ahead are some tips and ideas from Stubbs and Hope, but feel free to get adventurous.
Keep in mind that anything you use for kitchen sex might need to be used for cooking at some point, so make sure you thoroughly wash objects before and after, Stubbs says. In general, it’s best to “look for things you cook with that could be sterilized, like silicone, glass, stainless steel,” she says. Otherwise, cook up a hookup however you’d like.
- Try using a silicone spatula for impact play, because “it has a good thwack to it,” Stubbs says. Or if you have a wooden spoon, that could also work as a paddle, Hope suggests. Even though this is supposed to be playful, you still have to be cautious with any impact play, because it can get dangerous, Stubbs adds. That means you and your partner both must consent, and have a safe word prepared in case you need to take a break or stop altogether.
- Tile kitchen floors aren’t the cushiest, so having sex on the ground can be uncomfortable on your joints, Stubbs says. Put pot holders underneath your knees, she suggests. That way you can still do your usual crazy sex positions or perform oral sex on your knees without getting bruises.
- If you have one of these bad boys to make café au lait at home, get pumped because it could definitely double as a vibrator. Use the end without the wand to stimulate you or your partner’s clit, and milk it for all its worth.
- Nipple clamps are another BDSM tool that you can DIY in your kitchen using chip clips or clothespins, Stubbs says. “Test out the ‘pinchiness’ on yourself first before you just start pinching your partner,” she says. Then you can sensually feed your partner the chips and have them lick the salt off of your fingers.
- Why do kitchen sinks have detachable sprayers? To make your orgasms more intense, duh. If you’re having sex with someone with a vagina, have them sit with both legs on either side of the kitchen sink. Then, use the sprayer to move the stream of water and stimulate their clitoris, Stubbs says. “Play around with it, but know that you’ll get a little wet,” she says.