CHANTELLE CONNELLY TOPLESS ON THE BEACH IN TENERIFE
People who have a penis: how much worse is sex when you wear a condom?
I’m a girl who has been as yet unsuccessful in finding a birth control method that works. Hormonal methods make me depressed, and as for non-hormonal methods, I’ve gone through two copper IUDs that wouldn’t stay in place, and the withdrawal method just makes me and my partner anxious about unwanted pregnancy. This leaves condoms as the only remaining birth control method for us, but my partner says that they significantly impact how good the sex feels for him. I’ve read things about how guys will just tell you it feels worse with a condom to guilt you into not using one when it really doesn’t make much of a difference. But based on my observations, it makes a lot of difference for him: it takes him much longer to finish when he wears a condom, which also makes the sex worse for me when it takes so long that I start to get sore.
Is it normal for it to feel this much worse for men when they wear condoms? As a woman it doesn’t make much of a difference in terms of sensation, but it’s important to me that both of us enjoy it. Has anyone found a type of condom that doesn’t impact the feeling as much?
CraazyMike: Condoms do suck from a males point of view. Unplanned pregnancy sucks more though.
ThatMixedGuy22: For guys it’s the friction that feels good and putting rubber jacket in it kinda destroys half the feeling. It’s like trying to scratch an itch through a piece of paper, you can do it for sure, but it’s just nowhere near as satisfying even after you take care of it. But if you and your partner dont want to get pregnant then unfortunately it’s a sacrifice you gotta make. Never trust pull out game, and honestly (this is coming from a 21 year old guy) if it’s that much of an issue then try different things to help stimulate him better like positions or foreplay
sumigaeshibjj: For me,
Sex without condoms doesn’t just feel better, it feels like what you are supposed to be doing. If you finish inside a woman with no condom on it leaves a sense of satisfaction that just doesn’t come from anything else.
That being said you need birth control of some kind. So it doesn’t really matter if it’s less fun. Sex with condoms is still fun.
handthro: It honestly feels terrible. I’ve only ever had sex with condoms, but once a condom’s on my dick, I can basically only feel pressure as opposed to touch, if that makes any sense. Run your finger along the skin of your bare arm, and then run your finger along your arm with cloth placed over it. That’s the difference in feeling to me.
The best condom that I’ve found is Durex Invisible. It’s so thin and the sensations are so much better that I won’t use any other type of condom now.
villagedesvaleurs: My partner is in a relatively similar position. Condoms are our only option for birth control.
Does it feel less good for me? Yeah a little bit.
Is it a minor compromise I’m more than happy to make? Heck yeah.
Every relationship is different, but it seems to me that the hardship you endure from your birth control options are *substantially* less than the hardship your partner endures from wearing a rubber.
Tell your partner to experiment with different brands, and to not buy the cheap stuff. Higher end brands like Skyn are way better than generic stuff like Durex and Trojan.
If he keeps complaining remind him of what his “sacrifice” is relative to yours re: birth control options.
TexasMade2018: It’s terrible..
Alman54: Condoms definitely do decrease feeling. Try lambskin condoms. They cost more but the feeling is much better.
Stresshead2501: Basically it makes sex kinda pointless for me.
bluntingtonsquare: If no condom sex is a 10/10 condom sex is more like a 3/10.
Hidemeblog: I agree, it doesn’t feel as good, but the lack of direct friction means I can last a lot longer… so that can be a plus for my lady.
lewd-target: I must be the only person who doesn’t think it changes that much. That being said I have an incredibly sensitive penis. I can tell I have one on sure. But it doesn’t really make sex feel any less good to me.
sandstrummer: The first time I had sex without one was like losing my virginity all over again. I will never forget it. but sometimes you gotta do it.
intothefire22: It literally took me a year of depression, anxiety and awful periods before I got the courage to come off birth control and tell my bf of 3 years to wear condoms. I was so terrified that he would start to hate sex or begrudge me in some way but honestly it was the best thing I ever did, he’s so happy now he sees how much happier I am since coming off birth control. I also track my cycle really well so we don’t have to use them all the time so that could be something you could look into but I know exactly how you’re feeling. In the end though, you have to do what’s best for you and if he really cares he’ll support you. It really is a minor inconvenience for him in the long run 🙂 x
DavidAg02: The difference for me is hardly noticeable. Never understood the condom hate.
zikik: If it weren’t for the sensation of giving a woman sexual pleasure by the way of penetrating her, I’d ditch condom sex altogether. I’d rather get a bj or even a properly done hj rather than using a condom. To me condom reduces 95% of the bareback physical pleasure which is almost next to nothing compared to what females are getting in the first place.
rottinghuntard: Its like taking a rubberband and wrapping it around your finger a couple times, for me. Uncomfortable and just unenjoyable.
your_babymama: Have you tried NuvaRing? It’s worked really well for a few of my friends who hated the pill and we’re freaked out by the idea of an IUD.
magicalgirlklutz: Seconding spermicide and adding that if you haven’t yet, I would highly recommend a trip to Planned Parenthood. The ladies there are awesome and very knowledgeable and would be able to point you in the right direction for alternatives as well as education on ‘best use’ of items.
Best use refers to that 99% effective rate latex likes to boast about when normal use brings it down quite a bit. So worth knowing.
A bit of lube inside the condom can make a difference as well.
RedWhacker: Condoms suck!
GetToTheBottomOfItt: It definitely depends,
not all penis’s are created equal. I believe Cut/Uncut also plays a factor.
rgraves22: Guy here.. for me it was a lessoned feeling. It felt great, but it felt even better without one. I did find the brand and style of condom differed in the experience, me personally it was the Durex purple that I liked the best. I had a Vasectomy last year so its not a problem anymore. I was never a fan of Condoms to say the least, but the one time my wife and I were not careful, and she didn’t check her app (period tracker) surprise! Came my second daughter
Grab_em_by_da_Busey: Hitting it raw dog is like the home straightaway in the Indianapolis 500, pedal to the floor, engine screaming, and the car vibrating so hard you think the hood might come off.
Hitting it wrapped is driving an electric golf cart, with a governor on it so you cant even chirp the tires.
Leg__Day: Never trust the pullout method, but condoms absolutely destroy sensation.
12_Volt_Man: after years of unprotected with my wife when I used one again after the birth of our first child (didn’t want an oopps before got the IUD in) I had trouble coming. had to take it off and finish other another way. major lack of sensation. but they play a very important role.
colombian_god: Not only is it terrible. It’s also a pain in the ass to have to put it on once you’re in the mood and rolling around with your partner.
engr77: It’s depended on the type of condoms for me. My first girlfriend had a mild latex allergy so we used this sheerlon type that I found pretty inexpensive on Amazon but only during the times she could get pregnant (I know it sounds risky in retrospect but I didn’t figure she had reason to screw that up so I trusted her and it worked out). While condomless was better, using the condoms really didn’t bother me that much.
Years later I started using condoms with my current girlfriend after a hiccup in her birth control prescription, and after the first round of the sheerlons that I knew and loved I decided to buy one of those variety sample packs just for fun. But they were all ordinary latex and I have found them to be comparatively awful. That awful smell, a sort of plasticy feeling, and they seem to soak up her natural lube like a sponge so we had to use other lube, which isn’t a problem, but we never did with the other condoms.
So, like others have said, try different types. But they don’t have to be expensive types.
twa2w: One thing that helps with sensation while wearing a condom is to apply a little lube to the head of the penis prior to placing the condom. No the condom will not slip off unless you smear the lube down the penis, or have a bunch on your hand while sliding on the condom.
basketballthro910: Doesn’t feel that much worse for me
Like, I don’t finish quickly with or without one unless I haven’t came in a minute
it’s really not that different though, safe sex is still great sex
Dtownknives: Tl;dr: yes it feels worse than without, but less pregnancy risk makes up for it. Have him try more brands and specific condoms.
The people who say condoms feeling worse is a myth are just as wrong as those who say blue balls don’t actually exist, BUT just because it isn’t a myth doesn’t mean guys should use it to guilt their partners into unprotected sex they aren’t comfortable with.
Now with that said, yes condoms do feel objectively worse (for your reference I am decidedly in the average dick size camp). You dont get the sensations of every little bump and texture or the feeling of wetness. However there is a wide variation in condoms. The cheapo freebies handed out for free at colleges feel like fucking a doctor’s exam glove, but the bigger name brands like durex and trojan (I’m sure there are better out there that I haven’t tried) still feel pretty damn good, just with a bit less sensation.
While the condom feels physically worse though. The peace of mind that there won’t be a pregnancy scare, especially when doubled up with another form of birth control (sorry that that isn’t available in your situation) more than makes up for the lack of sensation. I also hate pulling out, and my last girl friend despite being on the pill wouldn’t let me cum inside her without a condom, so we’d use no condom plus pulling out as a rare treat. I even chose the condom a few times because it meant cumming inside her, which to me is one of the best parts.
Now as with almost everything in sex, this is all subjective. Have your partner try out more brands of condoms; he could have just not tried the right one yet. It’s still possible he wont find one that works, but it will be better than just pulling out for sure. You can also try doubling up spermacide and a diaphragm with the pull out method if you can’t a find a condom he can tolerate.
Good luck finding something you’re both comfortable with that works.
sherryleebee: Have him try lambskin* condoms. I hear those ones are pretty unobtrusive.
*not made of real lambskin
CheezusIsLard: Worse enough for me to allow a stranger to slice my ball sack open, cut my baby batter tubes, and burn their ends closed.
Best decision of my life.
You could also have your guy try out different sizes. Before I got my nuts deactivated, I was only paying attention to size (diameter) when shopping for condoms. Not all dicks are the same size, so finding the right size condom is important. They’re measured in millimeters (I’ve seen high-30s to low-50s), and it’s marked either on the box or findable with a quick google search.
MkLiam: I find it to be significantly diminished. But I also don’t like kissing a woman who is wearing lipstick. Its just better to feel her. Its her I am connecting with. I support the use of condoms but I always need some extra stimulation of some kind when using them. Personally, I would rather get married and have babies than use a condom. I have turned down sex over this.
MikelWRyan: Okay, from a male point of view
Sex with a condom on
Is significantly better
Then not having sex at all
To avoid getting her pregnant
Wencar: Personally – I don’t mind them at all….here’s why.
With a condom…the “friction” is the same as without one. Having said that, because the friction is less……..it takes a bit longer to orgasm ( a plus for you ladies). But the bonus that I find is….. orgasms are better for me ans the buildup takes longer…and the explosion is multiplied. Sort of edging for a longer time.
Maybe I am different…but I don’t mind them at all.
bigthrowaway81: Based on your situation, I would consider Trojan NaturaLamb condoms. They’re the only condoms I’m aware of that are made of a material that’s significantly thinner and has much better heat transfer than latex condoms. They feel much better than typical condoms.
There are a few downsides: they’re pretty expensive (as much as $2 USD per condom), they smell a little funny (not bad, just different), and they do NOT protect against STI’s. The molecular structure of the material is such that the space between the atoms is larger than in latex; this is what allows for the improved heat transfer and increased pleasure. Sperm CANNOT pass through, BUT STI’s, particularly viruses like HIV, can. If you’re in a situation where you don’t care about STI’s, this can be a great option.
In my own experience (hetero male), I’d say that latex condoms feel about 50% as good as condom-less sex. I’d say the NaturaLamb condoms feel about 80% as good, because of the improved heat transfer and friction.
Also, I’m not a doctor (so please consult yours), but have you explored low dosage pills, such a progesterone only pills, aka “mini” pills? They have a much lower dose of hormones, which can be great for people with negative hormonal reactions. The only catch is that you have to take them at the exact same time every time or they are ineffective (because they basically have just enough hormones to last for 24 hours, whereas traditional birth control pills have much more than that).
Best of luck!
yourturntopeg: Yeah there is a difference but I feel like I last a little longer with one on and ultimately there are more than a few things you can do to help get him off. Also I a sure you could come up with extra ways to show him a little extra “appreciation” for wearing the condom too ; )
kara13: What about female condoms?
Seems like there would still be good friction for the guy, and for me, as a girl, the fun comes more from the fullness and pressure of a penis than from the friction.
Nose_malose: It’s like swimming nude and swimming with a wet suit
Yes you’re in water and it’s fun but you’re not really feeling it
With that being said you should always practice safe sex. Always.
Jellamiah: Definitely lose a good 90% of the friction which causes the pleasure. To the point where I’d rather give myself a handjob.
azuth89: It’s enough that I’ll often skip condom sex entirely in favor of fooling around (assuming it’s just BC and not STDs protection as well), but I wouldn’t try to talk someone into unprotected sex over it.
teacupcakes: I’m a woman, but both my husband and I find the sensation is worse with a condom. Also I tend to uh squeeze them off, which freaks me out and I spend the whole time worrying if they’re still there. XD I can’t use any other birth control, either, but now I do the fertility awareness method with the app Natural Cycles and I love it. On the red days we usually just pick other activities. It’s also really fun (for me anyway) to know exactly when you’ve ovulated and how your body is working. I wouldn’t recommend it if you have other partners and are at risk of STIs, though.
fraincs: The most annoying thing to me is the taste when I lock my SO after a penetration
i-mbatman: It’s not worse for me….i prefer using condoms.
Disorient21: Sex without a condom feels at least two times better, but the only thing I seem to be able to pull out of is my driveway. I don’t like pulling out, so I prefer using condoms when I am with a woman I couldn’t imagine myself having a kid with.
Wizardsmoke: Wash your hands with soap and warm water. Now put on a pair of rubber gloves and do it again.
pesadelo: Imagine, if you can wearing gardening gloves and trying to read braille.
Imagine putting wax in your ears and then having you partner whisper something to you.
Imagine putting a plastic tarp over your head and kissing someone.
cexshun: Sucks enough that I wouldn’t be in a long term relationship where I had to where them. I’m 37 now, and going all the way back to my first time, I can count on 1 hand the number of times I finished with a condom on. The day I lost my virginity? No orgasm.
I’m certainly on the gifted side of average when it comes to size. Ordered larger condoms from Europe. While they were more comfortable, still can’t orgasm with one on. And it’s not death grip as I have no problems at all orgasming without a condom from both penetration and oral.
So if condoms were my only option in a LTR, I’d break up or consider a vasectomy. Luckily I’m married now, and we’ve had our child. So the vasectomy was a great option. But if for some reason I had to wear a condom, I’d frankly just rather have a blowjob.
For a young guy that want’s to have kids one day? Well vasectomies only have a 50% success rate for reversals.
amadeus76: Not as bad as a screaming kid…