What do you want women to do when you can’t stay hard?
So I see a ton of posts about anxiety over staying hard, asking what the reason could be, etc…for guys that have this issue, what do you like the woman(or man) you’re with to do when this happens?
I understand everyone may have their own preferences and I can’t and shouldn’t apply it to my own partner, but just curious.
AsleepRoll: Don’t get mad and assume we don’t find you attractive.
_Internet_Random_: If a blow job doesn’t work, Give it a few minutes and then do foreplay again. Teasing is generally good for helping maintain an erection.
Doctor_Sin: When I have troubles to get hard I just relax, talk a bit with my partner and then we try again. And usually blowjob works pretty well for me.
Snesgamer83: Be understanding, know that just like with you girls sometimes we get distracted and just can’t function as well. Try to not pass us off entirely if it happens to us the first time meeting you whether it be from nervousness or anything else, if you can please give us another chance and see if things get any better.
Push-Pull: Well, I can tell you that cursing “What the hell? Really dude!?” under your breath is NOT the best way to approach it. (Yeah, my ex was a shitty person…)
Simply treating it as no big deal is the best approach. Shrug it off and love the time with him anyway. Use the time for pillow talk, get into some deep conversations, build up some connection. Maybe rub his back.
For me, sex is about the connection. If my partner can just be in the moment with me, even if it’s not sex, I still get that connection, and that frees my mind up from worrying about it. It’s reassuring. It tells me that my partner is there through this.
smittyzzz: s u c c .
socorra: Usually a blowjob or some dirty talk will get him right up lol. Or he’ll go down on me and get hard at the sight of me being aroused.
But if he’s really struggling, I just go with the flow and try not to make a huge deal out of it. In my experience guys are more anxious/frustrated over it than I am, and I’d hate to do/say anything to add to that stress. It’s understandable because pressure to perform is very societally rooted whereas I have no reason to be mad, when all I have to do is wait a few extra minutes to get laid
I always kiss him harder to show him I still want him. If he suggests calling it quits because he’s self-conscious or anything like “sorry to be wasting your time…” I tell him to quit being ridiculous. If I considered it to all be a waste of time, I wouldn’t be in his bed!
theXcepshin: Fool around, make out, cuddle, whatever. Still do all of the the things you associate with sex, except anything that requires an erection.
Lt10550: Blowjob duh and if it doesn’t work. In the words of the honorable Luke Campbell “head, head & mo’ head”!