Trieste Kelly Dunn
I (24F) was thinking about letting my bf(20M) do anal for Christmas…..do you think that’s a good idea? Also, how should I prepare?
MegaStoops: Probably not the most popular opinion here, but I always feel like “giving” sex as a gift comes off as a little… stingy and lazy. This girl I saw when I was in my teens “gave me” a makeout session for Christmas, and nothing else. I went out of my way to get her a really cool gift, and I distinctly remembered how thoughtless that felt and it has stuck with me ever since, almost as if she didn’t get anything at all and was using my sexuality to cover it up.
I wouldn’t say I am against it in general, but get him something thoughtful too, with this as icing on the cake.
butttttttz: Lots of lube.
Kit4000: I would recommend starting with some butt plugs right away. Some people can do it just fine the first time though. I am not one of those people and had to take a bit of time using plugs.
But lots of lube, LOTS of lube and he should go extremely slow. I also find it easier if I have already had an orgasm so Im more relaxed.
typingbonbmybphone: I think going ‘all the way’ with anal sex the first time you try it is a pretty good way to have a bad experience. Sort of like how things tend to go wrong when a couple ‘goes all the way’ the first time they have a third person in the mix.
Maybe you could tell him you want to give it a try on Christmas, and then read the FAQ with him and then spend then next month or so exploring more with anal play in general.
As other’s have said, he might not even really be into that.
Maybe a better xmas ‘gift’ would be to suggest that you and he have ongoing conversations about what kinds of things turn you on, and agree to try something new every month.
Aviaryflight23: Just to clarify, I am getting him other gifts lol
This is sort of a bonus….if I don’t chicken out lol
subbadubbdubb: I’m generally opposed to the idea of trying to do a sexual thing for the first time on a special occasion because, in the event that something goes not the way you’d like, you tend to feel a lot worse about it afterwards.
ilovethesun1: Personally I’d be happy with this gift!
sandybeachclam: Best thing you can do is get comfortable with penetration on your own first. You don’t want your first attempt to be his penis eagerly pressing your starfish. Try poking around in the shower. Get used to the feeling. Work up to bigger things.
reddit2072: It sounds really immature and obvious but make sure you have a big poo before so that your kinda empty…
Doub55: Find the Mistletoe
Axtorx: I think that offering sex as a gift is a slope to sex being a reward, and I always felt sex shouldn’t be seen as a reward between a couple, but as a mutual experience.
I mean, try anal, enjoy it, but don’t treat it like a reward he “won”
torbjorn_bradda: If you giftwrap a bottle of expensive lube, then perhaps yes!
esancheznj1225: As long as you are comfortable I would go for it.
You don’t need to get butt plugs to prepare, in my experience at least.
I feel like you just have to understand that you and your partner have to kinda warm up to it with some anal play like fingers and tongue. And of course start slow and don’t just jam it in there.
Also the other big part is communication, if you start getting into it and then you become uncomfortable you should be able to say it. Or if it feels ok but your partner is moving too fast then say it. You never know you may try it and really enjoy it! It’s not something to be feared, if you end up hating it then don’t do it again. Also just be sanitary.
I would totally give that as a gift, if you’re ready. The “gift” part of it makes it exciting! Maybe you can have sexy xmas lingerie to pair with it! That way even if anal doesn’t come out of it you still spiced up your Christmas.
ninjaobvious: I wouldn’t give it as the “gift.” Instead I would say he has a naughty surprise waiting for him in the evening.
AlfredJFuzzywinkle: Puts a new spin on the phrase going down the chimney!
Seriously though I wouldn’t do it. Trying something different that you may not enjoy seems like a recipe for disaster on Christmas. Plus people who are into anal often use a enema before and refrain from eating for a long time too, all of which adds up to a less than fun Christmas. Surprise your man by wearing a sexy outfit or giving him an awesome blowjob.
breyarg: from someone who requested this from my partner for many many years… (shes someone who generally says no tho things without trying first, then generally loves them when she does!)
i think this is an awsome icing on the cake!
1) Lube, lots of LUBE!!! get KY Jelly – works great!
2) relax and maybe have a massage first while having him play with your anus. One finger around the rim and relax while it slowly gets inserted (this part you could try and play with ahead of time to get you used to the sensation.
3) go slow! it may hurt at first while its stretching (it shouldn’t hurt much and should be more of a weird uncomfortable sensation rather than pain) for your first few times. if it hurts stop! wait a little longer and go back to steps 1&2 till you can get the head of his penis in there. and remember more lube!
4) communicate and let him know what to do and how slow to go etc.. u have to trust him fully and he needs to be guided. it really does take 2 to tango here safely.
5) if you dont like it at all and choose to stop then STOP!
it needs to be a shared enjoyable experience. try and remember that your not used to it and may not feel pleasant the first couple times but that when done right, can be an amazing experience. rub yourself, think dirty thoughts, and how taboo it is considered, and how much pleasure it can be giving each of you separately and together. the more you do it the easier and pleasurable it gets
boberttoday: some guys just aren’t interested. I wasn’t, a partner wanted me to do her butt, I did. Meh, I prefer vaginas. For me it just doesn’t feel anywhere near as good.
This in place of a gift would seem cheap. Maybe this is a nice surprise for after the celebrations though.
anon_gir92: Check out some anal lube from amazon. They have some that contains lidocaine that helps numb and makes it easier to relax. Also, definitely use a vibrator on yourself while he is doing it and it will be amazing. Enjoy!
Kevinmac59: What a wonderful Christmas gift!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! He is a lucky man! Maybe wrap some good lube in a wrapped package. With a card that says “This come with my A card.
alwaysrandom42: Ho Ho Ho. In a good way.