Guy I’m dating said he would love to wake up to sex but does that count as consent?
Before we began dating like a month ago he said he’d love to wake up with a girlfriend riding him. Now we are together and I want to surprise wake him up by riding him (but not ask him again about whether he wants it). Does that sound okay?
tl;dr should i ride bf who said he’d love to wake up to sex?
ProfsrChaos: Please. Please just make his day. I’ve been asking to wake up to a blow job for YEARS now. Yes.
tiffanyk1993: Yes, since he asked for it and clearly wants it he is giving you prior authorization (consent)
Zuberii: You can definitely give consent in advance. The key thing is that it is given at a time when they fully understand what they’re saying. So, someone drunkenly telling you to come over, doesn’t count as consent. Especially not if they’re passed out once you get there. But someone fully awake and sober talking to you about how hot they think it’d be to wake up to sex is totally consent. Feel free to engage with them further on the topic though to make sure they’ve thought it through.
Are there any situations when it’s not okay? Any acts that aren’t okay? For example, they might mean specifically waking up to a blow job or hand job and be much less okay waking up to you pegging them in the ass with a 10″ strapon. My partner very specifically doesn’t want woken up if they have work the next morning, but weekends are GREAT. I have another partner who only likes drunk sex IF they pass out first AND I video tape it. The point is, make sure that you clearly understand exactly what they want, because obviously they won’t be in a position to stop you when the time comes.
Also, obviously, your consent matters too. If you’re not comfortable with any of this, then don’t do it. But yeah, it totally counts to give consent in advance.
heleeeeen: Yes, that’s consent. He asked for it.
purpleflowerowl: >Before we began dating like a month ago he said he’d love to wake up with a girlfriend riding him
That sounds more hypothetical than consent specifically for you to actually do it. I’d ask him for confirmation, if you want it to be a suprise don’t tell him *when* you are going to do it.
brindlethorpe: Yes. He can always tell you to stop if he changed his mind.
GrumpyBearBank: In most places, legally no.
MildlyIntriguingGuy: The guy TOLD you what he wants. What do you need? An affidavit?
I know the whole consent thing is important, but THIS?
hylian01: He told you it is okay and wants it…that is called consent. What’s so difficult about this?
secretdonk: I can’t really imagine a girl getting on me and getting my cock in her without me waking up. Maybe there are people who sleep that hard (with erections?) but it’s hard for me to imagine.
As far as the consent thing; c’mon. We’re all getting a little too precious here aren’t we? Obviously he consents.
_trinidad_: I think you probably need to ask again. Just because he loves the concept doesn’t necessarily mean he’s given consent for anything. While you’re at it you need to go over any sex acts he wants you to do and any that are definitely off the table. Consent is kinda murky when one partner is still asleep so even though it doesn’t sound sexy to do this ahead of time it’s best to have pretty clear boundaries ahead of time. For example, me and my girlfriend have agreed that wake up sex is just gonna be using our hands to get the other warmed up then climbing on top until both of us are awake enough to do anything else. Sleep blowjobs are great but I’ve accidentally kneed her a couple times doing it so we decided that was a little too dangerous. And the same for me going down on her. You just need to have a very open discussion about it before you go through with it
Misterbrownstone: What has become of this world
495867Toss: I mean if you are partners already and both people agree.
Do you have sex while drunk together? How is this different?
MissQuickening: Uhm… best practice? This isn’t hard and fast modern consent, no. That said, I’ve woken my bf to a blowjob. He’s said it would be fine, and he was fine (or, well, he seemed a lot more than fine with it). I plan on doing it plenty more.
He’s done this (woken me up to sex) to me before, though, when he didn’t know I was sedated, and a few days later, I was like, “Look, don’t do that to me if you don’t know if I’m lucid in the future, because I felt weird about it later.” Solved.
I recently had a very lengthy conversation about the grey areas of consent with a friend of mine from grad school. This is one of those things where “real” consent can’t be given in the moment, but that doesn’t make it victimization so long as the party being acted on isn’t bothered.
I’ve been violently raped. I’ve woken up to being assaulted. What my bf did, waking me up to sex (without prior invitation) not knowing I really didn’t have full control of my faculties, felt “meh” but nothing like assault. We talked about it, laid down some boundaries… girl what I’m saying is don’t worry about raping your bf if this is something he wants, even if it doesn’t tidily fit into consent.
LaidBackInCT: Fuck yeah, do it. When my wife wakes me with sex or a BJ or a handy, it just makes the day start off so well. Guarantee he will love it and have a smile on his face all day. Do it!
throwaway__242424: My god, people are such pussies nowadays with their bullshit consent second-guessing holy fuck
He told you he wants it what more do you want
enjoyoutdoors: Consent and sleep is a bit tricky. It doesn’t work the same way it usually does because it kind of removes his options when it comes to saying no before it happens. But, you know. He would never ask for it if this was something that truly concerned him.
Just be careful. There is a tiny chance that he wakes up and immediately *withdraws* consent. So pay attention if that happens.
So, anyway. Is he a light sleeper? Hard to wake up?
You can test the waters a bit by very gently licking him. If his body responds well without him waking up, try to time the jump-on bit so that the first thing he consciously feels happening when he wakes up is your body enclosing on him as you push against him.
If you love to fall asleep spooning, maybe it’s fun to have him in you despite that he is asleep? You know, gently grind against him until he is hard. Wait a bit, then slowly push yourself against him to get him in. The trick then is kind of to make him dream about something that feels good, so that he starts moving. Probably slow. And a bit irregular. But it will be all by his doing. Once you get him started, he’ll do it while you relax and just enjoy.
AlphaWeaboo: Jesus christ ,what feminism has done…
dicklord_airplane: Oh my god, all this feminist indoctrination is making things a little ridiculous for young people.
Yes, its ok to wake him up with sex because he just told you so! What more consent do you need? A notorized contract with the date and time of execution?
Im starting to feel sorry for new adults if they are seriously asking these questions. It like yall hold feminist theory as divine gospel and authority.
psilocybes: Yea, close enough.
Praetor918: I think for men, its a consent even without saying lol. Take that light joke with a grain of salt, but it feels good to be awoken by an orgasm instead of the usual *beep* *beep* *beep*