Scared by new fetish
Sorry if this is all over the place, I gave myself a headache worrying.
So I’ve recently found out about cuckqueaning. I think it’s super hot and I knew in the beginning it was the rush of like my worst fear that was turning me on but I got hooked and now it’s ruining my mental health.
I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and he’s not the type of person who would cheat. But since finding cuckquean porn I just can’t get it out of my head that he would like to, or that me or our relationship is inferior to other women. My brain just doesn’t want to accept that he won’t at least want to cheat on me at some point or another. Because of this I’m super sensitive about him noticing girls (college during Halloween, bunny suits are out) or us having less sex/intimacy. I’m trying really hard to not act crazy.
I don’t even want to bring it up because it sounds so stupid and insecure (and even worse, I feel like I may plant ideas in his head).
I just want advice about how to stop this because I feel awful.
farlanghn: Really confusing. You are turned on to this type of porn. So since you are turned onto it and you think your partner wants to do it? Does he even know you have this fetish?
If you really do like it what about it do you like? Do you just like to watch it or do you want it to happen? So many questions…
squidrama: I get the paranoia that comes with a relationship, but you have to realise that just because other people are into it doesn’t mean he is. Also you should probably try and stop viewing porn that fuels that kind of fear, especially if you also get turned on by it. That’s just confusion you don’t need.
whiskey_pants: I would suggest perhaps you do not like cuckqueening porn as much as you *think* you do. I used to *think* I liked watching all this real life crime drama stuff with details about gruesome murders, etc. Then I realized it was like some weirdo compulsion I had that lead to anxiety issues. I wasn’t *really* getting enjoyment out of it, I was like drawn to it. That is not the same thing. I had to realize *I* was actually creating my own anxiety and this behavior was silly. I could just stop seeking out the things that cause the issue, and boom, all better. Now I just know that *I* should not watch such a thing, even if it looks interesting, because ultimately, the way it makes me *feel* isn’t something I actually equate to the things I *enjoy*. Feeling reaction to something and compelled to watch it are not the same thing as enjoying it. This doesn’t sound like a fetish to me, it sounds like your worst fear and perhaps you have an arousal reaction to anxiety. Many people do. It’s not that uncommon.