I’m in a great loving relationship, why am I dreaming about having sex with other random women?
My girlfriend is supportive, loving, and beautiful. I would be lost without her, I love her very much. Why would I dream about other women? When I’m doing the deed in my dream I seem to not even think about her but when it’s over I remember her, and how great she is, and I feel horrible guilt. When I wake up I’m relieved that it was just a dream but I still feel kinda guilty. I would never cheat on her, why is my subconscious a piece of shit?
dommesticated: Dreams are weird things. I always dream about being intimate with strangers and hardly about my partners regardless of the state of the relationship. The subconscious is wacky. Dont overthink it.
187contentcop: It’s normal so don’t worry about it. I’m female and I also have those dreams/fantasies sometimes they don’t mean anything unless you want them to
Fuckoff555: it’s normal , it happens , it’s definitely better than having sex with random women in real life, just don’t tell her about your dreams lol.
Tyler8245: Maybe it’s more akin to a nightmare than a dream. Maybe you were attracted to someone other than your girlfriend at some point, even briefly, and your subconscious mind is playing out the scenario.
In your dream you have sex with someone else, then (still dreaming) feel guilt over cheating on your girlfriend. Sounds to me like you really love her, would hate to lose her, and your brain is trying to show you how shitty you would feel if you betrayed her.
I’m not saying that this is the answer, just that with the info provided, I can imagine what it might feel like to be happy with my SO, and my stupid brain to irrationally worry about ruining it. Honestly, I think that having this dream in the first place likely means that you are a caring, considerate partner, and that you really shouldn’t worry about it.
Unless your family has a history of precogs.
thedarkestbeer: It’s 100% normal to fantasize about other people, even in a loving relationship. Also, yeah, sex dreams happen. I have them regularly, relationship or no. It’s not cheating, it’s just your brain being like, “Hey, remember how people are hot and sex is great?”
a2017: Dreams in your sleep? You can’t control that lol it’s just your mind being weird. I’ve had sexual dreams about other men and I’m married. It doesn’t mean I actually want to have sex with other men because I don’t. Who knows why we dream what we do? It just seems totally random to me.
neversiempre: Could be compensation.
gonzales14: Don’t overthink it. Everybody fantasize about having sex with other people. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your girlfriend or that you’re not satisfied. It just means that you recognize other people are attractive and that you would like to bang them. To be in a monogamous relationship is a rational choice that doesn’t erase your natural impulses.
RenderedUseless: Yeah don’t overthink it. Happens to me on occasion. I don’t think there’s much to do about it nor do I think it means much of anything.
morgrath: Your unconscious mind when dreaming is like a kid with a jumbled box of Lego, it just randomly clicks things together to see what sticks. It *can* be influenced by things that are worrying or stressing you, but not always, and trying to interpret dreams is a bit of a crap shoot. But stressing about this could backfire and make it more frequent, just chalk it up to being normal and try not to worry about it.
VicTlife: Its a dream, that is all. Ive had a dreams that I was having sex with my ex, a random chick I noticed, hell even a feminine looking guy friends head on a womans body (very strange to wake up from that one). Your brain comes up with all sorts of crazy shit when you dream, no need to give it more thought than that.
Latyon: You’re human. Next.
swingsetlife: Almost everybody thinks about sex with other people. It’s part of how humans are wired. You should never feel bad or guilty of what happens in your dreams, as it’s not indicative about how you feel in the real world.
If you, in waking life, want to have sex with other women more than just an idle fantasy, then it’s something that should definitely come up in conversation.
anniemckenzie13: It’s natural! I think most everyone in a committed relationship at least wonders what it’s like to be with someone else and what that life would be like for you. Its normal to question the unknown and be curious. I knew it was natural and it’s led my boyfriend of one year that I live with and I to look into the world of polyamory (dating more than one person). I think it’s really a shame that we’re conditioned to feel guilty to be curious about other people because how is one person supposed to satisfy ALL your needs for the rest of your life. I’m saying this while also feeling like my boyfriend and I could get married and be together for the rest of my life. But I can’t imagine being only with him. Anyways. Don’t feel guilty. Dreams are random neurons firing. People are sexy. It happens.
bittytits: I’m a female but I have never had a sex dream about an SO ive been with. I would always dream abiut other men, or sometimes women (I’m straight), and sometimes they were vivid and glorious. Dreams are just dreams. They mean nothing, are not prophetic, and cannot be interpreted. Just enjoy them and hope you can remember them once you awaken
ooo-X3R0-ooo: I have dreams where I’m screwing other women too, normal shit. Hell I had a dream once where I killed a guy and stuffed his body in my work trailer, it was so damned vivid that when I got to work I had to go make sure there was no body..
Elverah: Dreams are weird. I have an amazing boyfriend and our sex life is pretty great. I still dream about having sex with girls though. Not much you can do about it!
TheNerdWithNoName: You’re human.
MisterMiscellaneous: You’re human, thoughts and dreams are benign. Especially dreams actually because you can’t control it. Biologically we’re programmed to want many different people. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your girlfriend and your sex life. Like I said you’re human. As long as you don’t act on any thoughts, you’re perfectly normal and healthy.
pcpower: let’s hope she’s into /r/cuckquean
corstang17: As one who works with a lot of attractive female coworkers, I can attest to this. The main thing would be not to act upon your dreams. Perhaps some latient urges that we don’t act upon consciously, that come out when we don’t have control?
biggiec23: Can I ask how old you are? When I was younger and married, I was always fantasizing about other woman. My dreams would be about other woman. When I was having sex, my mind would wander and think of other woman. We eventually ended up getting an amicable divorce.
However, I am older now and have met the most beautiful and amazing woman. Sex is all about her. I worship her body and she consumes my dreams. Even when I masturbate, she is on my mind.
My point is, I feel like I know exactly what I want now, and what I want and need is my current girlfriend. Maybe you haven’t experienced everything you would have liked to or are still confused as to what you want and like. That’s how I felt during my marriage but not anymore.
seeker135: Your subconscious may be doing any number of things.
If you are not hurting yourself or anyone else as result of any of your dreams, don’t worry about it. In fact, when you remember a dream…immediately think of anything else. Dreams have no more validity in occupying a bunch of your time than than does a Daffy Duck cartoon.
Zaknaro: Honestly, I think it’s normal to be attracted to other women even when in a relationship. I love my gf, been with her for 8 years, sex is great, but I can’t stop wondering what sex would be like with other women. It’s not like other girls are hotter, every girl is just different. Maybe it’s just a basic animal instinct of us trying to diversify our DNA and spread it as much as possible.
Probably doesn’t help I only had sex with one girl before my gf (which, quite honestly, I feel doesn’t count because the 3 times I did it with her were pretty non-noteworthy: 1st time I felt nothing, second time I lost my erection and we ended there, and last time I came in 20 seconds then we broke up haha. I probably would feel the same even if I had 50 girls in my sex history though.
I definitely respect people who have no such desires, I accepted that I have to hold back my urges for the rest of my life. Like my old boss said though… It’s not because you’re eating you can’t look at the menu, no harm there.
oceanscales: They’re just dreams – it’s your subconscious randomly putting things together, it doesn’t mean you want something or are missing something. Dreams aren’t cheating anymore than masturbation is. You’re fine.
Stappern: You are not a bad person for wanting things. You Will be a bad person if you lie to her.
couchcowboy: I’m a woman and I have the same problem. It’s harder for some of us to be wired for just one sex partner. Whether it is something that bothers you enough that you feel you should do something, that’s up to you.
Jezzikial: People try to rationalise dreams or bring some meaning to them. There isn’t one, dreams are just a mash of whatever you’ve seen, thought or been through in awake life.
Dreaming is how babies begin to learn speech. It’s kind of a consolidated movie reel of the day, replaying stuff. But sometimes that stuff gets jumbled, and then you end up dreaming about things you don’t consciously want to do.
I’m a woman who loves woman and on the odd occasion I dream about sex with men. I also sometimes dream that it takes five hours to do something that takes five minutes, and for some reason I’m in a stressful hurry the entire time.
It’s a dream, and it’s out of your control. It’s not a subconscious thought, just a mash of many different things you’ve seen, heard, thought about etc.
saucy40: Because men aren’t meant for monogamy period.
n0mad26: You’re male
JRthePUMP: You’re a dude, relax, it’s literally more natural than monogamy
HorrorScout: “Why is my sub-conscious such a piece of shit” Sorry but that line is hilarious!
Anyway ur subconscious is just fine. Just because ur banging other chicks in your dreams doesn’t mean that you want to cheat. It just means that there may some new kink u wanna try, or maybe want to have more sex. The person in your dream doesn’t necessarily matter. It’s just a dream. Dreams are never literal takes on what you are actually thinking about , it’s just ur mind working through some underlying issue or desire. Do not beat yourself up over the dreams.