How can men approach women they don’t know without coming off as a douche?
I’m just tired of being single, I’ve never been in a relationship and would very much so like to be in one, but I’m not opposed to one nights stands either (only ever had one of those). I’m 20, fairly thin ( and getting thinner by the day) and I have a pretty good sense of style for a college guy due to a retail background. I have a well maintained beard (which i hope ladies like because I’m not shaving). I have never really had the confidence to approach the women I find myself attracted to and introduce myself or flirt because I’m terrified of coming of as creepy or a douche. Due to an anxiety thing I really don’t have many good pictures of myself so dating apps like tinder don’t usually get me many matches.
My questions are
To the men: how do you work up the confidence to approach a women you are attracted to out and about in the world, and what do you do when you do?
To the ladies, what is the sweetest way a guy has ever approached you that resulted in a date, or how is a way you want men to approach you?
Also any and all advice on flirting is appreciated
Lwtracer: Walk up to them and say the best pick up line ever….
“Hi my name is _______, I thought you were really pretty and I wanted to talk to you.”
Mrfeedthedog: You: “hey, how’s it going / what’s up?” Smile
Girl: communicates interest or doesn’t
You: continue talking if she is interested / move on if she isn’t
Edit: and definitely don’t think about your future dick hardness while you’re getting her name. In fact try not to think about that at all.
solidad: Fat one-eyed scarred 40-year old chiming in.
I was a late bloomer (met my first GF and even had first kiss at 26) and used online dating sites (back in the dumb-phone age). Used plentyoffish to find my fiance.
These sites (not familiar with tinder) allow you to say what you want to say. The trick is to be suucinct but interesting. I think my headline was:
“Mad scientist seeking a diabolical companion that can rock some high heels.”
That title says quite a bit and can be seen at a glance. Couple that with a pic of my goofy ass and my (F)iance found me (it’s rare on those sites for genuine women to contact you). The rest of your profile should be succinct and allow for discussion. Don’t talk about your love of the ferengi and how gold-pressed latinum is made. Just say you like sci-fi.
give that a shot while you also try to go outside and meet people.
throwawayyysundayyy: Using corny pickup lines is a predictable move amongst the majority of guys and often comes along as creepy and douchey.
My personal experiences with woman have seen humour as a key factor in establishing conversation. An intended failed attempt at a pickup line can be funny due to the unpredictable nature of it and provide a smile or giggle, after which you introduce yourself.
Using friends can also be a good move in starting a conversation within a social circle- using them to introduce you seems dependent and shy where as you require confidence to make you more as an individual. Even just a snide comment about the conversation as a leaning whisper can be a good starter and mostly funny.
– never just start a conversation with ‘hey I’m such and such’, always jump right in and talk about a topic or something and then ‘oh I’m such and such, and you are?’ can be good and effective.
throwawayyardkeeper: Offer the lady or if she’s with friends a drink, if she says no thanks excuse yourself and wish them a pleasant evening and walk away. You might get some interest back for behaving like a gentleman.
Women are used to being hit on, say 5 assholes to one gent. Some of the rebuttals are met with ‘fuck ya will must be dykes’ but you excuse yourself and act like a gent. No thanks we won’t take a drink but you can take us for a burger or a kebab.
ExtraCheesePlease88: DM me I’ll try and help you out as much as possible, I’ve approached girls in kinds of ways. Having female friends help.
azuredly: The thing is, you approach enough women over time to develop a sense of personal value so you can learn from that and realize you have no value and you end up just staying at home and pretending how hot and cool you are but know for sure you’re a loser.
awfullyapt: You are a person. She is a person. How do you approach another guy without seeming like a douche? You introduce yourself. You joke. You find common ground.
I’m assuming you also want to know how to let her know you are interested. After you talk to her like a normal person for a bit, something as easy as “hey, it’s been really cool talking to you, (can I get your contact info / can i take you out sometime/ I was heading off to do x, wanna come along?/ I have to go, but I’d love to continue our conversation / I think you are really beautiful and would like to get to know you better, would you like to meet up for dinner or drinks sometime )
It’s not rocket science. If she isn’t interested, she’ll still probably be flattered. If she is interested you are all set. worst case you meet a new person.