Childhood experiences (17M)
Didn’t really know where to talk about this but oh well. So lately I’ve been coming to terms with the sexual experiences I had at a young age and whether it has made me the guy I am today. To put it straight I have a very high sex drive and have had one from a young age (around 9/10 or so). Is that weird? I kinda feel like it was triggered by encounters I had at a very very young age; when I was about 5 or 6 my neighbour (13/14F) got on top of me and was grinding my penis (skin to skin) even though I obviously couldn’t get an erection and had no real idea of what was going on-it also hurt as it was flaccid. I didn’t think anything much of it at the time and she told me not to tell anyone so I didn’t. The other major encounter was with another girl a year or two later. She pressured me into giving her oral (she was about 12 or 13 so had higher legitimacy of authority). Again I didn’t really know what I was doing. Long story short I feel like these experiences have made a sex freak and I don’t know whether I should feel guilty or not.
talkinboutfuckin: >I don’t know whether I should feel guilty or not.
You were a child and you were taken advantage of; you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
Have you considered talking through your concerns and questions with a therapist?
Briean48: I mean I’m not a guy but I can relate to this. I have had a high sex drive since I was about 4th grade deep in childhood. I can trace my first time masturbating (clitoris only) back to 1st grade. I just never actually started showing it til my late teens and even then to now I keep it hidden. The only person who really knows how horny I am all the time is my SO and I still hide it a lil. I also came to the conclusion that it was due to childhood abuse. I was molested when I was 6 and shortly after is when the masturbating memories start to surface, never before. I’ve accepted the fact that this was abuse and it did effect my sex life long term, but that doesnt mean you have to let the past ruin any future sexual experiences for you or sex at all in that matter. Just learn to come to terms with what happened and try to enjoy everything from there on.
RottenRedRod: That sounds like abuse and you may want to talk to a professional about it.
Sinnocence37F: I’m sorry that happened to you. I’ve always been a sex freak as long as I could remember and I wasn’t abused as a child. My son has been showing signs since he was pretty young too… I think it’s just some people’s nature.
notoriously909: I played a lot of “doctor” when I was a kid; I specialized in OBGYN stuff. It’s pretty normal I’d say.
bloorjob: Dude I’m 32 years old had similar experiences happen to me as well. I also have a high sex drive. So pretty much to say I feel normal about it. I think you’re just reading too much into it.
nsfwalt_69: I’d say you’re normal. I was a young when I started out discovering myself and getting interested in sex. I was 9-10 also. I’d realized it just felt good to touch myself down there. Thankfully my parents weren’t discouraging of it and would answer any questions I would have had. I was pretty educated by the time I hit 12 and I was starting to develop also at that point.
I had a forever changing experience of reading something very erotic at the age of 12. My mom had the set of books from Anne Rice about sleeping beauty becoming a sex slave. She was only 16 in the books and that kind of forever warped my idea of what a 16 year old should be doing for sex lol. To say the least as I got older from like 14-17 I was on webcam a lot and putting on shows constantly as a teen. I wanted to be wild and have those experiences those books had put into my mind. This was the late 90s to early 2000s so thankfully it hasn’t come back to haunt me. This was before Skype was even around lol.
I lost my virginity at 17 to my ex and once I hit 18 I was buying all the sex toys I could. Thankfully he didn’t mind trying like low grade bdsm things with me but I discovered he had a want for me to be dominating which I just can’t really do. I’m terrible at being a dom. However he turned me onto public sex and we fucked in a lot of parks. I miss doing that.
Lordfuzz51: I have (do) deal with sexually intrusive thoughts. At times, it can be so uncomfortable that I do compulsive things like blink really hard. In the past it’s been almost unbearable, but I’ve slowly learned to turn the “noise” down so it’s just there in the background. This caused me to reflect on EVERYTHING, as this sort of thing does, and one memory that was brought up and heavily dwelled on was an encounter similar to your first one. I was 4-5 and had a 12-13 year old make me lick his face and what ever else I don’t remember, if anything. I realized I had an incredible amount of guilt over this. I told my parents about it and they had me call the kids house and apologize. Maybe my memory is incorrect, honestly I hope it is lol. I’ve never asked my parents about this since it’s irrelevant to me now. POINT IS, I decided that while I didn’t have a choice at 4-5, I do now. And I chose to let go of that guilt. I, and you, had no control over the situation, and no understanding. So why hold it against myself and continue to be ashamed of it?
Getting to that point took a few years of agonizing mental torment, re-lived guilt, but it wasn’t until my best friend and I drunkenly shared things from our childhood that neither of us had ever spoken of. It was truly life changing I think. He had more dramatic and long standing sexual abuse happen to him and he was in some way at peace with it. He had forgiven himself and the person who had done the awful things to him.
The next morning I finally told my wife, and she responded that she had been raped once by two guys in high school.
We all come from decent, small town, middle class environments. And we all thought we were alone, as I’m sure you feel you are. I promise you are not. Let yourself let go of the feelings of guilt.
summerboothang: I was 6 when a ‘friend’ who was 12 at the time tried to coerce me into grinding on her. She asked me if I felt anything and I would say no because I obviously didn’t at that age. Every time she came over for the next few years, she’d ask to play this game. I was a kid and I thought this was all normal. I still feel shivers when I think about it but I just wanted to let you know that you should never feel guilty. These people were definitely in the wrong and we didn’t know any better. I’m sorry you got taken advantage of
mike_tee1: Yeah our stories are almost parallel it seems. I’ve made sure not to let it affect my interactions (sexual and non sexual) with ladies but sometimes I just think about how messed up it is and wonder how much it contributes to my mindset currently
kallisti_gold: Sorry you went through that. 1in6.org has good resources for you.
**It’s not your fault.**