My boyfriend told me he wants to watch me masturbate but I (F19) am embarrassed …
My boyfriend (23) and I have been intimate with eachother for coming up to a year now. He was my first everything and I lost my virginity to him – something I had waited to do with the “right” person throughout my teens even when all my friends were casually hooking up constantly.
So, needless to say I feel extremely comfortable with him in every aspect and I am both emotionally and sexually attracted to him … but he mentioned the other day as I was laying on his chest after we had sex that he’d like to watch me masturbate.
My heart started racing immediately and my cheeks were burning with embarrassment at the sheer thought of him seeing this intensely “private” act.
I’m so embarrassed of how I pleasure myself because I know it doesn’t align with how women in the porn my boyfriend watches masturbate (by simply playing with their clit) – after touching myself over my panties for a while and then progressing to touching myself around the clit, I then play with my “homemade” dildo and straddle a pillow and grind/hump it with the dildo inside me to achieve orgasm.
I know this sounds super weird but that’s just somehow the way I climax best. But I simply can’t bring myself to let my boyfriend see this ; I’m so scared he’d be turned off immediately.
What can I do? Do I just say yes to him and pretend to enjoy masturbating in the “normal” way the women in porn do, do I simply say no and upset him, potentially ruining our sexual relationship?
I don’t know what to do but I’d really appreciate your advice!
newchapter1123: The addition of a toy would likely be a turn on to him. ‘Homemade’ makes me a bit nervous for you. You should likely invest in a real toy. Your boyfriend would love to see this, I’m sure.
viewyou: Nothing turns a guy on than seeing his woman masturbate. It shows him a private party of yourself.
GulliblePlankton: First of all, there is nothing weird about the way you masturbate. We all have our own thing and if you like it a certain way, there is no reason to be embaressed about it!
Secondly, you don’t have to masturbate in front of your boyfriend if it doesn’t feel right. I know, he might like it, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to. Maybe you can wait a while until your relationship matures and you feel more comfortable around him.
Finally, don’t worry about not turning him off. I’m pretty damn sure he will like seeing you touch yourself no matter how you do it!
amatorsinum: See, the thing is, men have no idea how women do it until they see some in real life. Just tell him to shut up about it and then let him watch. That will be a binding experience. He is probably honestly curious. I was before I saw some girls do it. In the best case he knows bstter how to please you after that.
MadMaxineY2K: I don’t think it’ll be a turn-off. I’ve had partners who loved seeing me grind purely because of the expression on my face and the knowledge I was getting off. Especially in a longterm serious relationship, I’m sure he won’t mind. If you’re self-conscious about it you can try to play it up a little to be sexier – more moaning, more sensual movements – but I don’t think it’s necessary.
Or, honestly, you could just tell him upfront. “Hey, when you asked about seeing me masturbate, what was it you had in mind? Because I don’t typically masturbate the way you see women do in porn and such, and I feel a little awkward/embarrassed, haha.”
golf9979: Have him masturbate with you.
penisart: masturbation is normal activity even in partner relation but it were better when he masturbated showing you not porn
krypto-pscyho-chimp: Trust us. Just do it.
Jordangander: Um, there is a whole subreddit about girls masturbating that way, nothing unusual about it at all.
It just is not very visual for the porn industry, the same for eating a girl out, I would never hold my face 2 inches away and use just the tip of my tongue, that is for cameras.
Don’t be ashamed of how you do anything that brings you pleasure, and it is a huge turn on doing mutual masturbation before sex.
Genom0: Honestly that turn me on more than ‘normal’ masturbation
jrtf2660: I’ll add my voice to those that say that he’ll likely be extremely turned on by what you’re describing (or by however else you choose to masturbate, for that matter). Also, I know that you said in response to another commenter that you’d likely not be able to see him if you did mutual masturbation, but coming up with a way to make that work could be a good/fun experience for you both, since it’s a different kind of letting your guard down with each other. You might find that he’s as nervous about doing it in front of you as you are in front of him.
aacgb5283: Guy here.
Don’t be embarrassed about what gets you off. So many people compare themselves to what they see in porn and it’s unrealistic. Most girls I’ve been with do things more like what you do and don’t limit themselves to just using their fingers.
First of all your boyfriend would not be turned off by seeing what you really do. He would probably think it’s really hot. At the same time, I understand that it feels too private and vulnerable to share that.
I know it’s intimidating but if you can talk to him about it I think he’s probably love to watch what really gets you off. Especially if you’ve been together for around a year now.
dirtyhappythoughts: The thing about watching girls masturbate isn’t that the porn-way is so hot (although it is), but especially when watching a partner masturbate is that they’re having pleasure. Seeing your partner in a blissful state like that is *really* sexy. So really, I’d encourage you to do as you always do.
However, you mentioned this is a very private thing for you, so if you really feel this way, also don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend that. People’s masturbation habits are all unique, and that’s okay too. Keep that in mind.
lovedove07: Which part are you embarrassed about? The pillow? The homemade toy? Or just him watching you be so vulnerable?