Managed to enter my wife’s anus. What are the next steps?
My wife and I have been trying to make her ready for anal sex. We aren’t rushing this process – in fact, we’re going very slow. And since she’s doing it for my sake mostly (even though she gets off by the fantasy), I’m not in a rush to make this happen, just need to get informed on how to continue.
The way to get her ready was to insert a butt plug before sex, then have sex while it’s inside. I make her cum while the plug is still inside, but in some cases it slips out. We don’t insert the plug too often though, maybe once a month or so.
Anyways, fast forward to yesterday… I warmed her up with the butt plug again, made her orgasm and she asked me to try to go in! That was very exciting for me. So, I lube up her anus with silicone based lube and as well as my penis. We first try it in missionary, but it was too overwhelming for her. Having read quite some content in this sub, I’ve learned that the best starting position is spooning, to which we switch to (sort of). So, she’s in spooning, but I’m on my knees behind her and I work my way in there very slowly.
She was feeling a loooot of pressure (as she was describing it), which was seemed pretty uncomfortable for her, but asked me to keep pushing very slowly. My penis girth is around 4.5-5″. After being fully in, I stayed in there and enjoyed the sight of finally having anal sex with my wife, even though I wasn’t thrusting. She stopped feeling uncomfortable once I was fully in and stopped moving. I tried a couple very shallow thrusts (my penis was pretty much staying in place, only my skin was stretching slightly) and as soon as I did a “bigger” thrust, she started feeling uncomfortable again.
So my question is: How do we advance from this point to full fledged anal sex where I can pound her mercilessly?
mystic_artist: Just keep doing what you’re doing until she feels like she can take that. My first time with anal was very painful, my bf at the time had no clue how slow to go and honestly just didn’t go very slow at all. The second try wasn’t that bad after that event. By the 3rd time I was fine and could finally enjoy it.
Continue being kind to your wife’s anus, it’ll pay off.
perfectionisajourney: Have her use a vibrator on her clit.
PM_me_yo__BOOBIES: If you read just the title, it’s funny to imagine you currently in that position asking Reddit for help on what to do next.
JoeMM: Yea… keep doing what you are doing.. she needs to be fully relaxed etc. And you could use a penis skin moisturizer.. these improve skin texture and make it smooth as silk. I use one called Man1 Man Oil and my girl loves it. It leads to easier entry and better sex. Google it. Hope this helps.
ClawedNyx: My boyfriend at the time when I first did anal just thrusted. It’s bearable, but oh my god does it hurt. It’s a slow process (unless you’re like me bc mama didn’t raise no bitch), but if you go slow she’s more likely to try it again and again. Unlike me who now does not like anal because it hurt so bad.
aFyllickTed: >How do we advance from this point to full fledged anal sex where I can pound her mercilessly?
I see where this is going and I don’t think she’s going to like it unless this is part of ***her*** fantasy.
lionmouse95: You’re doing everything right, progress can be slow but you’re making it. When she’s ready to try again, she may find it easier and in time you can do larger and larger thrusts and she can go for longer. Having a vibe on her clit might help a lot too.
lady72: My SO kiss me while trying to get in. That relaxes my muscles a lot.
thenagel: >How do we advance from this point to full fledged anal sex where I can pound her mercilessly?
i’m gonna mirror mystic_artist. just keep doing what you’re doing, exactly that way, and have patience.
if you rush it, she will be less interested in giving it another go.
baby steps and baby thrusts. (that sounds excessively creepy, but i hope you see what i mean.)
german-I-am: I can’t do it after I come. I suggest you do the warm up. Have sex… have her nice and turned on. Then try. It’s not uncomfortable at all once the muscle stretches enough. And it can easily accommodate. She just has to relax. Best time for that is when she is super aroused. And use a vibe in her clit! I started like this. For my mans sake… I didn’t even find the idea all that exciting. But apparently I have another G-spot in there and it’s almost a surefire orgasm. More so then vaginal!
Manateesunshine: Anal play is a great warm up, I am a huge fan of fingering in the anus so maybe do that while behind her. Not finger blasting but slower to get her into the feeling. Also try different positions to see which makes her feel the least pressure, doggy style has a lot of pressure. Maybe a standing up position? But overall just give it time anal hurts but feels great once your body gets used to the feeling.
Brahamsismyjam: Sounds like you’re off to a good start! Keep using a lot of lube and fingering
Help her relax (some soft, sexy words and kissing help me relax). If she is tense, it will hurt and potentially rip! Spooning is def the best starter position! I think an advantage to it is you can press your chest to her back, massage her breasts, kiss her neck, and give a lot of close, intimate, relaxing/reassuring contact.
Go realllllly slowly!!!!! This is key because if she is not warmed up or relaxed, you can tear her. The ass is much less elastic than the vagina and doesn’t create any sort of lubricant, so lube, Lube, LUBE.
Something that works for my boyfriend and I is he goes in maybe a third of his penis length and just leaves it in and kisses me until I’m used to the sensation. Then he GENTLY AND SLOWLY moves and lightly thrusts until he’s 1/2 in and then so on until he’s completely in.
Then he moves in and out very slowly and adds lube if I tell him it hurt. From here one has to play it by ear and check in with their partner- if she is overwhelmed by the sensation, you may just have to stop or go extremely slowly. If she is feeling relaxed and ready for more, you can start to get faster and more rough. If she’s not, just stop or keep going slowly.
I also have found that while you’re entering the ass if you use a small vibrator on a low setting and rest it on her clit or the opening of her vagina that can help relax her. If a pleasant, relaxing, and familiar sensation and having that accompany something new, like doing it in the ass, can make it a little easier.
whiskey_pants: Well first you do need to realize you may *never* be able to “pound her mercilessly”. Maybe you will. Maybe she will like that, or maybe you will have to treat her ass differently because it is different. Not all will like it rough, ever. That said, just be slow, do what you are doing and work up. It would likely be a good idea to use a plug more often and look at sizing up too.
And you should also be using a plug, etc for you. It will help you tremendously to have practical understanding on sensations since your asshole is essentially the same as hers. The prostate is there, so you get that added bonus, but otherwise, the nerves around the sphincters, etc should be the same and you will be much better at grasping what will or won’t feel great if you are exploring your own ass too.