How many women out there find that sex lasts too long for them?
Just came from reading a thread where this came up as the top answer to a discussion about ‘sex mistakes by men’ – the idea that men feel they have to last long came out on top of the list. Unequivocally, it seemed like a lot of the women put down 20/30 minutes of sex is way too long.
This definitely took me by surprise! I last quite a while personally, and I’ve specifically had positive feedback on this – plus, the vast majority of complaints I’ve read sex online about sex with men has been regarding not lasting long enough. I’m just curious how common this complaint is? I guess it for sure makes sense that some people would want shorter sex, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard from these people.
Edit: It’s been an eye-opening thread – contrary to my prior belief that long periods of penetration are helpful for women to cum from, the overwhelming consensus so far seems to be a preference for long sessions of sex including foreplay, oral, fingers, toys, cuddling, other erotic fuckery, etc. but only about 15 minutes max of actual penetration.
Obviously, this is going to vary – at least one person two people some people in this thread mentioned a preference for long, uninterrupted periods of being fucked PiV; the only girls I’ve made cum from PiV did so after a good 20+ minutes of fairly rough sex (though in both cases, it was in the middle of a much longer overall session); and my current FwB enjoys very rough, sustained sex for pretty much as long as I can keep going. That being said – I’ll definitely be mixing things up and seeing if I can get better at making girls cum with hands/mouth/toys before I focus on doing so from fucking.
Edit 2: It’s also been pointed out that the wording of my question is going to mostly draw answers from women who have problems with sex lasting too long, so I may be getting confirmation bias here. I guess that as ever, it’ll come down to effective communication with your partner to see what exactly is the best thing to do in a given situation.
meltallica82: 30 minutes of continuous piv sex? Yes that would be too much for me. If it’s broken up with oral or something then that’d be fine.
yourekillingme: Actual PIV, 5-10 minutes. I can get off pretty quickly and tend to get sore if it lasts too long.
poor_bitch: Anything over 20 minutes is going into “too damn long” territory and I will probably position myself so I can zone out, like flat doggy (however you call that). I’d rather two separate sessions at 15 min than one drawn out one.
gothpeanutbutter: Thank you!!! I hate sex that is longer than 5 min. I’d rather have 15 min of foreplay , throw in a few min of piv and I’m good.
Miss_anty_body: I like quickies with maybe a little foreplay. I’m part German so efficiency is important.
VampArcher: My guy lasted for 45 minutes once. I was so bored and sore, we just stopped. My guy normally lasts 20-30 minutes which is a little too long, but I can deal with it. I like pleasure him before sex to get him half way there so he lasts only about 10-15 minutes.
_JeanGenie_: 5 minutes of piv is perfect for me. 10 is fine. Anything more and I’m out. I get sore, I get bored, i get annoyed, etc. I don’t orgasm from it. If I’m not really turned on, it kind of doesn’t feel like anything more than a mildly annoying feeling.
When I was younger I so much wanted to please my partners that I would fake the fuck out of liking long sessions of piv. I somehow felt like I was depriving them of something if I’d make them stop. I just don’t care anymore. My boyfriend is completely gets it.
However, if we switch things up with oral or anal or handjobs or 69, I am so in.
Emack76: I’ve heard that plenty from women on this sub. There are some that would gladly bang for as long as you can manage it, but most are going with a lower time. I think I read a survey that said 15 minutes was optimal for most women. I’ve found that to generally be true, but most will go a little longer if the positions are varied up. The man may be doing a lot of work, but it isn’t easy to hold your legs up there either (so I’ve been told).
ireasearch: Around 5 minutes of PIV is ideal to me… long enough that I will get off if he has already warmed me up and made me cum through foreplay.
If he has not done the foreplay and warmed me up I am not going to cum through PIV at all.
moodychurchill: Foreplay can be any amount of time. Piv sex more than 15 minutes my skin starts to get raw. I need a break at least. More than 30 and I’m going to just tell you to stop. I have finished more than one guy off by blowing him just to give my poor vag a rest.
RKK8: PIV for maybe 10-15 minutes is fine. I wish my SO would tease me, finger me, and go down on me more, and extend the session. One day, perhaps!
mydropin: Depends. I only want sex to last upwards of around 20 minutes if my partner and I really like each other and are just having fun with everything. Passionate sex for the sake of sex that lasts a long time is something I only like with someone I care about a lot.
On average I prefer sex to be quicker. Longer sessions I would say 1 in every 4 or 5. Generally when sex is “too long” it only refers to bad sex.
NoPantsLife: The guy I’m fucking now last for about 45m-1 hour(PIV) head/forplay is extra and I love it. I’m super attracted to him and he makes sure to focus on keeping me turned on and wet. We fuck, he’ll pull out and go down on me. Kiss my neck/spank me. We switch positions often and are pretty vocal. As long as it’s kept interesting I’m in for the long haul.
45 minutes of missionary only? I’ll get bored and will be like “Okay, just get off me.”
It doesn’t seem like this is the norm though based on other responses.
Rapt0rzzz: Not a girl but I feel like this really depends on what happened before PIV started happening. It also depends on whether or not the woman typically gets off from PIV. With my current girlfriend I usually get her off at least 2 times with oral sex before I even start Actually having sex. I usually only last 10-15 minutes tops and in that time she usually (but not always) gets off again.
If I didn’t get her off before, 10 minutes might not be that great. But when you do, the time can be cut down I think. Plus as much as I love sex, 20-30 minutes of just fucking is pretty tedious. But it also depends on positions. If I go on top and finish on top of from behind, it’s shorter than if she starts on top and then we switch.
I_Choose_Oblivion: If you’re just pumping away that long, then hell yes it’s too long. But if that’s all sex is for you, you’re doing sex wrong.
ExoticEverything15: Eat the pussy! Make it soaking wet. I bet you won’t last 10 minutes. Or you’ve done something wrong.
luckycharms4life: My husband and I rarely PIV fuck for 30+ minutes but we fuck for over 60 minutes. Which is pretty close to idea.
capughe: This greatly depends on individuals, their pleasure/orgasm ability, ability/desire to continue after orgasm, physical stamina/activity level during PIV and level of lubrication.
I have personally only experienced PIV that was “too long” once, but only because I already orgasmed and was getting tired of riding. Switching positions would have let me go on longer more comfortably.
Revonue: 20/30 minutes seems pretty ideal to me. Longer than that and it starts hurting. For me, personally.
JapaneseStudentHaru: My husband is obsessed with getting me to cum 3 times in one go and TBH I would be on fire after all that I’d definitely like it if sex lasted 15-20 minutes.
Agriidocce: ]are you talking about the whole sexual act or just penetration?
Minervaax: Our sessions vary. Anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours. Obviously with breaks of oral and other foreplay. We enjoy dragging it out.
RampagingKittens: Usually when you hear the common complaint that guys don’t last long enough it’s women talking about guys that can go for about 2 minutes tops. That’s not uncommon to find in a male partner, especially those under 25-30.
Now that I can no longer orgasm (medical, long story) I wouldn’t want to go more than 5-10 mins. Before, I’d want to just keep going and going since I could cum from PiV so easily and so hard and make it last as long as I wanted.
sixthofmarch: My complaint is that I haven’t met very many men who realize that I want to have sex for different amounts of time on different days. It’s not a time limit or anything where I always think, “Whoa, it’s been an hour, this is by definition a long amount of time for the average person to have sex, therefore I’m bored.” Anything from a quickie, to 45 minutes, or several hours, it all goes into consideration when thinking about what kind of sex we both want to have. I feel like different duration times pair with different types of sex: if there is a time constraint, I would want to challenge ourselves to meet it (quickie before work), long amounts of foreplay and longer sessions if we’re feeling romantic, on vacation time, etc. We probably wouldn’t always be in the same mood, of course, but the more variety in our sex life, the better.
nggerballs: Most men have death grip from porn and take too long to nut
PerfectChaos33: If it’s good sex then I don’t want it to end. I can do continual PIV for 45+ min if I’m really into it.
I don’t need to have a guy break it up with oral but oh boy it’s amazing if he does.
sillymissmillie: Personally, I like 20 min of foreplay and 10 minutes on sex. If my parneter and I get horny enough, we can cum really fast. Thats what we enjoy the most.
I remeber when I was younger (18-25) guys could literally fuck for 40-60 minutes non stop and later in the day do it again. It got sooo boring and my poor vagina would be sore (even with enough lube). Maybe Im just old at the ripe age of 31. To each their own!
rofljay: As a guy that can only cum from vaginal, and takes *at least* 10-15 minutes of that to cum, I can confirm that for most women I’ve been with that’s too much. (For the record that’s on top of tons of foreplay)
Tbh it sucks lasting so long, I very often don’t get to finish.
kierstenhollywood: I take a very very long time to cum.
I was in a relationship where I faked it every time, but in all reality came 3 times and they were from 69ing…which is just weird.
The other night, I was with a guy who promised me he wouldn’t stop until I came. He was in me for 2+ hours with a little back and forth of me giving oral to keep him hard.
Newsflash, I never came. 2 hours wasn’t enough.
Oniknight: All that foreplay stuff that people seem to think is extra or otherwise useless is basically really important. The constant jackhammering not so much. I mean, heck. I’ve gotten off on having a sexy dream before without even touching myself. Novelty, titilation, desire, switching things up…those things will turn someone on really well. But it’s complicated, like painting a picture, not simple, like twisting a knob and putting in a quarter, so most people focus on the mechanics instead of the actual experience/feel.
jalapeno-bby: Hmm I can’t relate to most of these comments! 5-10 minutes is way too short for me, I want it for as long as possible. As long as my bf makes me come during foreplay, I can have multiples from PIV.
SadieSanity: If it lasts too long, it’s bad sex
MissQuickening: Over an hour of continuous PiV with zero breaks or other things is probably my limit… hard to say. I really like sex that lasts in total 2-3 hours. Anything shorter than 1.5 hours (total playtime) makes me a little disappointed, and I would expect 40-50% of that time to be PiV.
LotusLizz: I prefer longer sessions, but I never keep it to just piv. Sometimes I’m just up for a quickie. Depending on my mood, a session will last anywhere from 10-90 minutes including foreplay, typically around 30-60 on average though. I like lots of touching, kissing, and intimacy though.
ChaosKilledDinos94: I think 20 is around my limit. Sometimes pushing 30 is nice but not all the time. I feel like 15 minutes is ideal but every now and then 20-30 is nice too. My partner actually does last sometimes up to 45 and it’s kinda too long for me. When that happens I use my hands, he uses his, I use my mouth, or we take a break. Sex isn’t just involved piv
Blackbeauty_ohright: Not long at all if good. Hitting spots & making me grunt? Please continue. LUBE is needed to continue thou. I love good stroking sex.
pinkybanana2000: It depends on the woman. My ex could take an hour of fucking, sometimes 45 minutes, at other times the 15-20 minute variety. But each time, without fail, I’d first eat her pussy for at least 20-30 minutes till she came.
drmini125: Geez, I feel weird, but my bf and I have to go for at least an hour before the both of us are completely and mutually satisfied by the session…
UsernameForSexStuff: Almost every time we have sex, my wife says “I want you to cum” at some point, and then I speed up and/or change position a little and generally am able to cum within the next minute or two.
sk8rrchik: Not including the foreplay, if there is much of any, I’d say 10-15 minutes max. I’d only last past 7-8 minutes if I’m struggling. My husband is pretty much ready to pop in a few minutes if I’m on top so it’s a game of stop and go until we both cum together.
pinpeach: I like about 15 min all together, maybe 5 piv anything else is just like overkill for me.
bananacirclesquare: In the last three years I’ve only had two sexual partners bring me to climax (for some reason I luck out with men that don’t reciprocate). Because I can’t cum PIV and unfortunately never get oral, I need long multiple sessions to feel wiped out enough to be done and have gotten complaints from men about being “insatiable”
NeedSerenity: With previous partners usually around the 15 – 20 minute mark I would be hoping he would finally cum, and plenty of lube was always needed.
It’s a lot different with my current SO however. Usually a session with him lasts about 2 hours (though it tends to go by so fast it feels more like a 1/2 hour). About half of that is piv sex with very little in regards to breaks, and I love every minute of it. (We tried to have a quickie once – 1 and 1/4 hr later of pretty much straight fucking and we finally finished lol). There are no issues with dryness either, we have never needed to use lube, and never had an issue with soreness. We both have very high libidos and amazing chemistry.
While it seems most women aren’t into marathon sex, I’m sure there are plenty out there, who with the right partner, would be all for it.
TheWolfeOfWalmart: 30 min of foreplay followed by 15 of intense sex
Anilxe: I personally love long, rough play sessions. One time my partner was a tiny bit drink so he was able to get it up but was having a difficult time coming, he found out just how much I loved it. I came the hardest around the 4th time coming, and they’re body racking and loud, and it usually takes me around 30-45 mins to come that much
ThatTheatreChick: It can definitely last too long and make the lady bits sore and raw, but my biggest problem with long sessions is that I cum so hard I’m completely exhausted and out of breath after a couple of good orgasms. They have to start gently and be spread out if you want a marathon session. Otherwise, I’m probably going to roll you into the floor and pass out.
sinead-orebellion: I’ve had partners that lasted 5mins PIV. Plus a little foreplay etc meant 15 minutes all up.
I always felt a bit ripped off.
I love long sex sessions.
I’m lucky my boyfriend lasts.
Will make out. Play with each other.
Oral and sex (PIV or anal…. or both)..
Without being in a hurry or bored.
It’s amazing time consuming sex.
Then there are the 30minutes quickies in the morning before we get up.
I love taking my time.
Enjoying it all.
Feeling utterly used sexually by the end.
iYorKeY: I cum fast, so 10 minutes is all I can give, not my fault i’m weak to girls in knee high and thigh high’s, chh!
that_how_it_be: My wife is pretty happy with like 5 to 10 minutes and she’s told me if I want to dry her up real quick I should tell her I’m going to fuck her all night long. She’s a practical gal and that’s why I love her!
(edit) Forgot to mention that not having sex for ages and ages leaves that time for cuddles, which is what she’s really after in her post-orgasmic state.
Steph_lumi: If I smoked I can easily go for as long as possible piv. 60+ minutes? Amazing. Having almost back to back orgasms the entire time.
If I didn’t smoke… I like anything between 1 minute and orgasm o’ clock as long as everthing else is right. If we’re focused on eachother and just having fun, I don’t care if piv is short. And If he wants to finish that way, I gladly help him get there, even if it takes a while.
Demona666: My SO and I usually start with oral, touching and kissing and then go to PiV for 5 or 10 minutes. I orgasm pretty fast and I can cum several times before he does. It works out well. Any longer and u start getting sore and lose some feeling (too much moisture).
But I know some women who would love 30 minutes of PiV. They need more stimulation than I do (Yay?)
On the flip side, my first partner lasted about 4 or 5 thrusts and he was done. So that was absolutely not enough.
sullenwaywardsparrow: I wouldn’t mind 30 minutes of total play. If it’s strictly penetration then 15-20 max at one time is more then enough. I’d honestly love an hour of kissing, oral, sex and finish with anal…. but that type of session is few and far between.
foolishle: 20 minutes from go to woah is perfect for a regular session with maybe 5 mins of PIV. Maybe an hour (and 10-15min PIV) if it is a special occasion.
HotPink124: I need about 20 mins oral. But piv, I’m good with 5-10 mins. Anything more and I’m just like, are you done yet? I’ve had great long session when I was in my early 20s (30 now). But now I basically just want to come and be done.
kunderwhere: I think the misunderstanding comes from what is/should be called “sex” less than the amount of time. But obviously I have the dissenting view that even penetration could last a long while and it’d be great.
NekoNegra: I had one that lasted 4 hours…
And that was the best sex I’ve ever had. I mean, he did everything in his power to make me feel wanted and desired, PIV, oral, pretty much whatever I wanted, he did. And I did the same for him. We laughed, and chatted through it all. He even gave me massages during intercourse!
When the sex is fun and enjoyable, time doesn’t matter for me.
Dire87: I can tell you about my sexual partners: There definitely is a time when sex can get “too long”. And by that I just mean penetration. You can literally fuck someone sore. Always depends on the person, the chemistry, lubrication, how that person orgasms the easiest, etc.
As always…just communicate -.-
inamorata4: Men, if you are with a new partner, don’t assume that she needs PiV penetration to cum. Personally, receiving oral is what turns me on the most, and pretty much the only way I’m able to cum with a partner.
After I’ve cum, I tend to get tight/tense, and intercourse that lasts past 5 minutes is going to start to feel painful, especially if he’s on the larger side.
Truth is, after I’ve cum, any intercourse that happens is mainly for his sake. I’ve had guys admit to me that they’ve dragged out their own orgasms during PiV for my sake, and I’m like no, that’s not how it works, cum when you are ready, DO NOT prolong it!
I know that communication during those very early stages can be difficult though.
SixSexySockPuppets: I’m with you. I’d spend hours just touching and playing and going back and forth. With some short breaks for cuddling and talking. I love when you start chatting on a break and it turns into dirty talk, then you can’t help yourselves.
Xirik: My partner (F) and I (M), tend to find things can stretch on. We’re both very lax and enjoy the build up, so we tend to stop once one of us is satisfied.
I have been told that (F) finds it can take too long, becoming painful or just unenjoyable. To be honest, sometimes it can get that way for anyone, sometimes it just takes too long to reach an orgasm, and we just stop.
No shame though, still happily in love
FaKeShAdOw: yea maybe in the same hole, these nubs
oceanage: I do not care for long sex, even when changing things up. It’s just too much for me. Something short and sweet is my ideal and my husband is fine with that.
Jamiesplaything: Penetrative sex usually hurts me some and it gets worse the longer it goes on. My husband and I usually have him go down on me until I cum and then he fucks me for like a couple minutes and then he cums. He worries that he doesn’t last long enough for me, but honestly it is good. I enjoy penetration but I’m just not lucky enough to not feel pain. Don’t know why.
ThisIsHowItStartss: 5 minutes PIV, 1 minute foreplay.
evyspade: It depends on my mood/how stimulated I am. I’m very sensitive and orgasm pretty quickly during PIV. Sometimes I get too sensitive and can’t take any more, sometimes I can go on and have multiple orgasms. If I get too sensitive, I’ll bounce off and give him oral for a while, then hop back on.
kyomcreates: Um… I usually have about 30-45 minutes to an hour of PiV… I’ve always been the odd one out.
Edit: forgot something
whiskey_pants: I love very long PiV as long as the enthusiasm and connection is there. I have rarely ever thought it was taking too long, and generally that even could be easily fixed with a position change and/or some lube.
i_have_a_semicolon: I don’t think it lasts too long, but there’s like a point where it stops being as enjoyable. I like to get off (i.e. have an orgasm) from oral sex before we even do PIV, and once we’re in PIV I would like that for 15 minutes or so , but less is fine too. I
Ghostlylemondrop: Honestly 30 minutes of straight piv is ideal, and if you include proper foreplay, a good session is easily an hour or two. It’s typically only too long if I’m bored, and then we have bigger problems than the duration of our sex sessions.
grittex: I don’t cum through PiV sex so it’s basically like, the first 5 minutes are *great*, then after that, change positions for 5 minutes and that’s also great, *maybe* another five after but that’s really the max I want before it’s just a repetitive sensation that, while pleasant, isn’t going anywhere for me.
Exceptions are really just if we’re having super, super lazy sex and there’s penetration and rolling around and stuff but not really much fucking so to speak. That’s about it.
Dudes should be focusing on literally everything *but* PiV.
And OP, I hate to say it, but I really doubt that if you’ve only had two sexual partners, they actually both orgasmed after 20 minutes of PiV. Given only about 1 in 3 women can even have vaginal orgasms, that sounds like a bored girl faking it to get you to hurry up and finish.