Whatever your stance on butt sex, it’s probably not the first sex you had, or the sex you have most often. And that alone can make it seem a bit intimidating — the great unknown. Everything we have done sexually was a little bit intimidating before we actually did it, right? What is it about the butt that makes it remain the most misunderstood and still-taboo area to get naughty? A lot of people have anxiety about cleanliness or wonder or think it would be too painful. Turns out we may want to take (or receive?!) that plunge after all — anal sex can lead to some of the most explosive orgasms, but it’s a unique area with its own special conditions and needs. So, what should you do before you have anal sex?
Whether you’ve had it or not, pregaming before anal sex definitely helps — and can make it better. Think of it like a pre-workout for your butt. From butt plugs and booty kegels, there are plenty of ways to up your anal game that you probably never even thought about. We consulted the experts and the consensus is you can have some pretty damn hot anal sex, but you need to spend some time preparing first!
1. Butt plugs and small dildos
“Try prepping with butt plugs or small dildos. “It’s like a pre-workout for your ass. Also if you are really into anal sex, it gets your butt aroused!” says Payton Sin Claire, an award-nominated adult performer. ”For you beginners I always suggest for play start with maybe a finger or some toys first and let the heat rise…. I think you become more in a relaxed state which obviously makes it easier to do anal.”
2. Do your booty kegels
“One thing a partner taught me was to learn to control my exterior anal sphincter, contacting and opening the muscle, much like a kegel exercise,” says Katrina “Rainsong” Messenger. This combined with slow, deep breathing kept my body soft and relaxed and gave me something to focus on. Then when you’re actually being penetrated use that exercise to open when your partner goes in.
3. Pregame in the shower
Take a nice warm shower together, suggests Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS. It can help relax you and your muscles, serve as part of foreplay play, and if either of you has anxiety about cleanliness, this way you both know you are squeaky clean.
4. Cleaning out is key
“If people think that random spontaneous anal sex is what really happens in movies you are seriously kidding yourself!” says Sin Claire. ”I always do at least two enemas before I initiate anal sex!”
5. Start slow
Make sure you have a good lube on hand. Start verrrrrry slowly: happy, healthy anal sex should be more about the fun of the journey than achieving a goal, says Katz. Using small silicone anal beads or just a pinkie to start, go slowly until the receiver is asking for more, more, more! Always better to have them begging for more, than saying ‘ow’ or ‘stop.’ Continue communication, add in a vibrator if it feels good, and have a great time!
6. Keep the pace slow
You started slow, now stay slow. When it comes to anal play, rushing can be your biggest mistake, says Julian Wolf, an educator and performer. All of the nerve endings and delicate skin which make play in this area so delightful require tenderness, at least when getting started. Gloves and lube are your friends. Whether it’s sexy purple nitrile or classic latex, gloves make your hands smoother and can help ease any concerns about cleanliness for both parties. Lube goes hand in hand with anal play- something thick will feel great and work wonders.”
7. You don’t have to “take” it…
You can go after it. “Instead of waiting to be penetrated I found what worked for me was to back up onto the toy or penis, that way I control the speed and the depth!” says Messenger.
8. Lube like its going out of style
You can’t have too much and when you think you have enough, get more. “The anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina. Help your body out and everything goes a lot more smoothly,” says Messenger.