I [28 M] ust got a positive Gonorrhea / Chlamydia (not sure which one yet) test result from my doc’s office. In monogamous relationship of 2 years. Any chance she [23 F] DIDN’T cheat??
Been having burning urethral pain for 2 days, so I went to get checked out for UTI and an STD panel. I have been 1000% faithful for my 2+ year relationship. Just got back my Gonorrhea / Chlamydia test, and it’s positive (but my doc’s patient medical record system doesn’t show which one I have- going to call soon to find out).
What are the chances of false positives? If it’s not a false positive, what are the chances she DIDN’T cheat? Really want honest answers. She and I have been supposedly totally monogamous for over 2 years, and have had unprotected sex (with IUD) hundreds of times over that period, and I have never before contracted anything from her, so if it is not a false positive, that would mean that I have dodged the bullet hundreds of times and am just now getting this from her from a previous sexual partner from 2+ years ago, rather than from her cheating more recently. What are the odds of that??
Thanks y’all. Trying not to be pissed or overreact, but I want the objective truth. Haven’t said a word to her about it yet.
oohcalamity: My background is in microbiology in a hospital setting so I do these tests routinely. So…. if you haven’t had any partners aside from her it’s very likely she had sex with someone else. You should absolutely let her know your situation, tell her to get tested. You also would have to take into consideration any changes in her habits or personality. I wouldn’t use this alone as evident that she cheated but it is a big factor. Good luck, take all those antibiotics and you should be good in a few weeks.
ALSO: depending on how they performed the test, we have been having issues in our own laboratory with false positive results. I think 1 in a run of 50 have been falsely positive. Do you have symptoms? If not have this performed again.
Edit to add: urethral pain could be many things and not necessarily indicative of G&C. My advice is to have this test performed again, ideally a culture which means a swab in your penis, uncomfortable but if it’s there it’ll grow. It’s the best way to test for it in my opinion.
TinkerBob7926: Try and think whether she’s been complaining of any symptoms, or if you’ve noticed anything about her body which could indicate an STD.
People can go years without experiencing any symptoms.
Did she get tested before the relationship turned sexual?
LongTimeHuman: 1. Get re-tested to rule out false positives.
2. If the second test results are positive, tell her right away so she can get tested.
3. Have *that* conversation.
4. If you both agreed to monogamy as part of your relationship, somebody didn’t keep that bargain. It’s up to you to decide what follows.
Smithjm5411: All good comments. One other possibility to consider. Though less likely. Im pulling for you that its not a cheating situation. You want to eliminate all other possibilities before accusations fly.
Do you use toys in the bedroom? Do either of you have a female roommate (or a male roommate with a girlfriend) who could have ‘borrowed’ one of the toys? Both of these STD can be spread by using toys not properly cleaned in between use.
painkillers: It’s highly, highly likely that she had sex with someone else. As someone with experience of a situation similar to this.
Kusunokii: I could be wrong here but I’m pretty sure Chlamydia is a silent STI, it can go undetected for months and maybe years if no symptoms ever showed. I was in a very similar situation
helion83: Well, when was the last time you were tested? An ‘out-there’ response is that you could have caught something before you started dating and if you had no need to test it wouldn’t have shown till now.
Failing that, if you’re worried about a false-positive then take another test. I’d worked in sexual health for over 6 years and rarely heard of false-positives for C/G but guess anything can happen in unusual circumstances.
Finally, speak to your doctor and ensure it wasn’t an NSU or similar urtheral irritation opposed to C/G. But if it is?
Talk to your gf and ask the truth, after that will depends on what she says but no matter how it goes she needs to be tested also just to eliminate that doubt.
Good luck and try to stay calm, eaiser said than done I know.
chelsmoto: Definitely get tested again. And definitely let her know.
Unfortunately STIs for females with IUDs are pretty serious. STIs travel directly up the IUD (much faster than had you not had one) and wreak havoc on the female reproductive system. Chlamydia (especially if she’s had it for some time) could cause scarring, infertility and cancer. If she does have STIs, that is unfortunate but ultimately that is the price you pay for cheating AND unprotected hookups. This is part of the reason why doctors are hesitant to place iuds in young women.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
sangetencre: Chlamydia can be dormant/symptomless, so she (I say she, because I believe it’s statistically more likely in women) could have had it and not known it.
>Chlamydia can lie dormant in the body for many years causing a low grade infection without symptoms. It could potentially flare up to cause a symptomatic infection, especially if there is an alteration in the persons immune system, such as a severe cold or flu, cancer or some other severe illness.
Tell her what’s going on. With an IUD, she really needs to be tested/treated. Then talk.
PM_ME_PICS_OF_SNOW: I don’t want to upset you any more than you already are, but is it possible that she was sexually assaulted? That could explain a true positive and why she did not tell you. I am just trying to think of another reason as to how this could have happened besides her cheating.
Jacob_exe: Get tested again just to make sure, get two positive in a row I’d say. Then tell her, and break up with her on the spot.