Had the best sexual experience of my life without even taking my clothes off (also some advice needed)
So I broke up with my boyfriend of over 3y a while ago and finally decided it’s time to get back on to the saddle so I joined Tinder and I met a guy on there. I told him straight up that I’m not looking for a relationship, he thanked me for my candour, and we discussed our mutual kinks pretty openly (a refreshing experience).
I’m quite submissive (but a brat, I like to challenge and be overcome) and he told me that he himself is quite dominant and he likes a little bit of pain and control during sex. So we were already on the same page. A few days later I sexted him and he took it to a whole new level. The things he was saying to me were so filthy and amazing I actually came with minimal touching. Just his words were enough. This guy should hold How to Sext classes because no one I know can write those kinds of things.
I met him a week ago and it was an electric experience. For our first kiss, he teased me, saying I needed to demonstrate how badly I wanted it, until I demanded he do it properly, and then he grabbed me by the hair, pulled me close, and whispered against my lips “I said no.” Sitting at the bar he put the tip of his leather shoe between my legs and started to slide it up and down. He even pinched my nipple at the bar, in public, if anyone was looking at us in the corner they would have seen. He told me he would only kiss me if I moaned, sitting there, and I tried to resist him as much as possible, but eventually I had to give in with what he was doing with his fingers under my dress and then he kissed me properly and it was the single best kiss I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Later we took a walk in a park and there weren’t many people there, at one point, he bit my neck and used my hair again to pull me in a position where I was resting against his chest looking up at him. He was kissing along my lips, occasionally licking them and it was the hottest thing I have ever experienced.
We wrapped up there because I stopped him since I don’t do more than kissing on a first date – plus I still need to wrap my head around fucking someone other than my ex boyfriend – and he indicated he would like to see me again next week, though he hasn’t made concrete plans since then (though he has been travelling for work this whole week).
My question (so that this isn’t just some poorly written erotica) – he loves being in control, and he is extremely dominant, and I’m afraid I’m not doing enough. In all other experiences I’ve had, I wasn’t with anyone so dominant that they would control my body like this, so I don’t know how to be reciprocative while still being docile and controlled (because I really, really enjoyed being restrained from moving while he licked my lips). I know there’s the standard blowjob while he tugs my hair kind of thing, but I want to do more. So what can I do? I really want to keep this going, he’s incredibly sexy and I already feel like he’s settling for me, because I’m pretty inexperienced and he seems to know exactly what he’s doing. I wasn’t able to fluster him at all. He’s already the best sex I’ve ever had and we haven’t done anything other than some kissing and light touching. Also, is it a bad sign that he hasn’t actually given me a date and time when he would like to see me or is that normal for casual relationships? We aren’t doing anything other than fucking, I was very upfront about that and I meant it.
dcprofessionaldad: If he’s as dominant as you describe, he should be telling you explicitly what to be doing, and your job is to just be and to just do. Give your trust to him (assuming he’s earned it), get out of your head, and live in the moment by acting exactly as you are told to do without wondering why or what to do next.
I suspect he’ll be very interested in introducing some protocols and rituals so you know *exactly* how to act in bedroom situations, but that’s a conversation for another day.
shikhar_maxx: Will u pls..post the screenshot on this reddit ..I wanna see what kinda things he wrote…I m curious
jmd0521: 50 shades pt 2
LiamBrennan2018: I almost disagreed with the previous poster but I don’t really disagree with him.
But your dom doesn’t want a rag doll or a robot partner either. The PP was right, IF he’s a good dom he will tell you what you should do and – more importantly – give you feedback to help you learn. Best general advice I could give you is to just really get into it when you’re with him. When you’re sucking his cock, look lovingly into his eyes. He owns you now and you should do everything you can to establish that connection.
But it sounds like you’re well on your way. You sound super hot. And don’t worry about the date time thing. Most doms prefer to do things on their time lines without “strings,”’and even sometimes keep their subs guessing.
REALLY try not to ask him a bunch of questions, unless you ask him first if you can ask him a question or two.
At some point he will likely want you to tell him you love him. Look him in the eyes and say it. But don’t expect to hear it back. You probably won’t.
Prepare as best you can for anything he might throw your way including physically. For example, he will likely be cumming inside you. Or at least want to. So make sure you’re on birth control. And although this flies in the face of the dom/sub relationship, before he does, ask him to get tested. He should. Otherwise don’t let him.
And finally, if you’re not already experienced, watch some BDSM movies. Even some porn. A great place to start is the movie Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhall. Heck, even if you never get together with him again, watch that movie for your own knowledge and perhaps titilation! 🙂