HERE’S WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX IN A POOL
You know that one amazing scene in Wild Things where Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out in a pool, and there’s some serious heavy petting, and it’s the sexiest few minutes of R-rated ’90s cinema ever created?
Ah, yes. That scene. It’s truly life-altering, and if you’re anything like the rest of the world, it really makes you want to have sex in pool. Right? Right.
But as fun as pool sex may seem, according to ancient sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer, it’s one of nastiest, most disgusting things you could ever do to yourself, because apparently, swimming pools are full of gallons upon gallons of piss, which is absolutely revolting.
Just How Much Pee Is In That Pool?
Scientists have now identified an easy way to measure pool urine—by looking for traces of a common artificial sweetener. Urine in pools mixed with chemicals can pose a potential health threat.
New research from the University of Alberta found that a commercial-size swimming pool has approximately 20 gallons of urine, which means that in an average hotel pool or residential pool or something, there are about two gallons of stranger pee.
Well, I don’t know about you, but as little as one fluid ounce of random piss is gross enough for me to never want to dip even one toe into a pool ever again, let alone have sex in it.
Nooo thank you. I’d rather not submerge my naked body in whiz and marinate in it, with all the funk seeping deep into my pores. Hell nahhh. Not to mention getting that incredibly foul, piss-saturated chlorinated water in my mouth.
Plus, it’s not just the grossness of the fact that you’re swimming around in pee and exposing your sensitive intimate areas to a hearty combo of urine and chemicals–pool water can actually be toxic, which is obviously very bad for your health.