How do I know I’m doing kegels right?
I [31f] have been actively working towards fitness goals for many years, most notably in the last year. Interestingly, it seems like progress is starting out and working it’s way in—a long way to say, I really don’t have strong muscles where my legs connect to my pelvis, my arms to my torso, or my abs.
I want to start doing kegels, both as an exercise to keep my body strong and to increase my sensitivity with sex, but the problem is…I don’t think I can activate the muscles I’m supposed to? I’ve read all about the ‘use the muscles you use to stop peeing’, but I can’t seem to isolate anything—I feel it somewhat in my vagina-region, but also in my lower abs and mostly around my butt. Am I just lacking enough other ab muscles to be able to ‘find’ the right muscles?? Is it okay that all these other muscles get activated when I clench? My boyfriend lives on the other side of the world, and when I move home early next year I’d love to have there be a noticeable difference from when I saw him this summer. Thanks everyone!
SiTing: Have you tried the pee thing? Have you actually tried to stop peeing when you’re in the middle of it?
Another way would be to place a finger in your vagina and then try to squeeze. If you can feel it clench around your finger then you’ve found it.
enjoyoutdoors: Get one of them kits with objects in different shapes that provide an increasing difficulty over time?
To begin with, its definitely a simple concept (though not necessarily simple to do just because it’s simple to say) with them: it’s an object. Shove it in. When you stand up, the object will attempt to fall out. Hold it in.
With time and practice you will gain muscle strength, and it will be easier to hold it in. Then escalate to the next one, and it will be a bit harder again. And so on.
There is more to it than that, because you can also learn to control muscles individually, and you can learn to have a more delicate touch to it as well as pure strength. But that is the basics. try to hold stuff in.
PS. Don’t tell him what you are up to until you notice a lot of difference yourself. I’m sure he’ll be able to occupy his mind with the concept of your body being able to squeeze him to the point where it’s a nice tease and all that. But save that for when it’s kind of imminent that he’ll be allowed to find out if it’s any nice. You can probably enjoy seeing the curiosity grow on his face as you tell him.
WayneCider: I’m a guy, so I can’t provide any *direct* advice, but my wife does something very similar to this on me (NSFW):
By squeezing her kegels around my cock on the up-stroke, it feels line she’s trying to pick me up with her vagina. As she got better and better at sucking sand pulling me into her I could feel different areas inside her squeezing different areas around my penis (like around the head, the shaft and the base). Hell of a lot of fun and instant feedback too