Married man with average penis. Wife’s ex was HUGE. Is she constantly comparing him to me?
13 years ago my gf (now wife) broke up with me to date this other guy. We started dating in middle school and we’re both each others first. When we both went off to college, we continued the monogamous relationship until she fell for another guy. We broke up and she immediately starting dating this other dude. A few months later we hook up and they eventually break up. A few years down the road we get married. A few years further removed, I find out he was massive in the shorts. Full size monster energy can. This crushed me. She claims it never hurt but also says he knew nothing about the female anatomy and the sex wasn’t very pleasurable. But I’m guessing there were several times the sparks flew. We have a very healthy sex life and I make her cum from oral every time, but something about thinking about her getting stuffed in a way I will never be able to give do just really brings me down.
Ever since I found out the “big” news, I am constantly thinking that she is comparing me to him whenever we have sex.
Am I crazy?
therealme0929: She married you. She didn’t marry him. Penis size isn’t everything. Bigger is not always better. Try not to worry too much. I’m sure she is happy with your penis. She said sex wasn’t always pleasurable with him. You’re fine.
InvariantJett44: 1. You guys were young. She probably wondered what it was like with someone else. If you’ve only been with one person, it’s natural to wonder.
2. She picked you in the end. She even said he wasn’t even that great in bed.
3. As a female who has had her fair share of different sizes, bigger is definitely not always better. I’ve met guys with the width or length that made me not enjoy sex. It’s all about what you can do with it. I actually prefer guys with the average size because it’s so much more pleasure and I can enjoy the moment rather than figure out a way/position to make it less painful.
4. You are 100% overthinking this. I tend to do that too so I get where you’re coming from.
5. Love her and trust her unless she’s given you a reason to doubt her. Which sounds like she hasn’t.
6. You can always ask her what she likes or doesn’t like in the bedroom if you’re really lacking confidence and want try things out. People are more likely to open up if presented with a question.
Europaenceladus: It could have been the best dick the human race has ever seen. Unfortunately it was attached to a guy she disliked enough to divorce.
knowitallz: Getting fucked by an arm sized dong is probably very painful. Don’t envy what you don’t have. Get over it.
Guythings: Where’s the examples of her constantly comparing you to him? You put none of that in this.
Smithjm5411: So a few questions.
How did you find out about the ex’s large penis? From your wife? And in what context? Or from a third party?
How long have you known and its been bothering you “constantly”?
It is natural to feel intimidated by this news. And to even be concerned about it. Us men dwell on things like this way too much. But women generally dont think about it so much. Your wife may even be irritated by your concern with it.
Nixie_D: It’s been years, she’s not comparing now. And her own statement that it wasn’t pleasurable says a lot. A massive penis is usually just painful.
She married you for a reason, probably in part because your average penis is way more pleasurable than painful. Stop worrying.
Does she love that guy?
Did she commit to spending the rest of her life with him?
She has clearly said that the sex with this guy wasn’t great for her, big hog or not. She’s not comparing you (who she loves) to a guy who is 1. No longer in her life and 2. Lousy in bed.
youcantfindme123: I’ve had bigger than my current bf but I don’t compare, I enjoy.
528gpl: A penis that is way above average is not comfortable for most women.
So probably not.
Rollthedice123: Yes, you are being insecure. Not sure why she told you this though. Facepalm on her part.
thecitizenredux: Dicks are like cars: some are bigger, but it doesn’t make them better, it’s the driver and the purpose that matters. If it gets you where you need to be, efficiently and pleasurably, it’s great. Yes there are some people who really love huge cars, but they are a minority. What we need is good, safe, fast and comfortable car that’s fuel-efficient and looks good, and is driven by a great guy, not a gas-eating monster that smells like shit, costs a billion to upkeep and is driven by a greasy asshole.
Having said that, many like to change into one of those electrical cars these days.
This concludes my car-penis -analogy.
I’ll get my coat. Bye.
cheddarfever: My last boyfriend before my met my husband had an above average-sized penis. Except when responding to questions like this, I have never thought about it, wished for it, or made comparisons in my head during sex with my husband, since we broke up.
indarkwaters: She definitely compared you BUT she’s not hung up on it. Maybe the guy couldn’t even last long enough to get her there. Maybe he smelled like dying snails. If it was important to her, she wouldn’t come back to you several times. Obviously you were/are doing something right.
Women do not want an insecure man. Confidence is more of a turn on than the biggest dick for a size queen.
Take it easy.
digbybare: Yea you’re crazy for taking her back after she **fell for another guy while dating you**! This is why she doesn’t respect you, because you don’t respect yourself.
Bunit2: First, from all the conversations I’ve had with women guys having huge dongs, they all have similar views. It’s cool to experience once… But for the most part, the experience is very positive. They are just too big.
That being said, every sexual relationship is different. Think about the different partners you’ve had. Was one prettier? Did they have different sized tits or asses? Now think did that necessarily make them better in bed?
Chemistry is what’s important. If she says the sex wasn’t great with the other guy, I’d believe it. Obviously, you are doing something right because she got back with you, married you, and you just said you can make her orgasm frequently from oral. Every sexual relational has it’s advantages and disadvantages. Usually it balances out from partner to partner.
SentimentalSinz: A bigger penis is not inherently more pleasurable. If she *is* comparing your penis to his, size will play almost no part in it.
cowboy-bean-bowl: Nah, she married you! Don’t worry about it. Bigger definitely does not equal better. Nobody else knows my body more than my husband does. Truly the best I’ve ever had 🙂
engr77: Like everyone else said, she picked you.
Plus i don’t think she’s bullshitting when she said what she said. I’ve had at least two female friends that I can think of offhand, who I used to talk to about anything and everything, tell me about at least one experience they had with a guy whose dick was almost comically oversized… and that he seemed to be under the impression that his size by itself meant he was rocking her world, and otherwise did nothing else.
Obviously not all guys are like that. But I’m sure it’s not super rare either, especially among younger guys who haven’t figured out porn isn’t real .
TheNiceJenny: There is always bigger. It sounds like it bugs you more than it bugs her.
wefsix: So, my ex was the largest I had…which means that I spent a sig. amount of time in the bedroom navigating pain. He was a good guy, so it was never dreadful but it also meant that it was very, very rare that we could go full intensity.
My current guy is less endowed and sex is a trillion times better.
> something about thinking about her getting stuffed in a way I will never be able to give do just really brings me down
She very likely doesn’t WANT to be stuffed that way.
OldNeighborhood: She still has to fantasize about the size for sure.
geric1me: Duuuude dont let this ruin a good thing
She is with you, so return the favor and love her without hesitation, make her cum like a god damned thoroughbred, and fuck all the rest. Most people have a sexual past. But guess what? YOU WON! Now go use that victory for good.
RandomPlayerJoined: It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean.
BabyBlackBear: Huge dick hurts me. My comparison would be thank God he has an average size dick. Bigger doesn’t mean better. Chilll.
dream_hunny: she said he knew nothing about the female anatomy and the sex wasn’t very pleasurable. take her word for it.
i’ve been with many men who were huge. i honestly can’t think of anything about sex with them that was more memorable than other partners i had based on penis-size alone. i guess if im totally honest, it was visually erotic but that didnt make the sex necessarily better. its what you do with it. and don’t you ever eroticize big tits or a big ass or other body features? you appreciate those features, but does that mean that you obsess over for example, someones huge tits that your wife doesnt have?
relax and try not to overthink it. she wanted YOU and YOUR penis enough to marry you. actually, im thinking of my top 5 sexual experiences and the guys with the big dicks arent even on that list.
(sorry big-dicked guys 🙂 )
Cinsdale: Probably, but you already know there is no comparison.
>I make her cum from oral every time
Kind of says it all really.
> When we both went off to college, we continued the monogamous relationship until she fell for another guy.
>they eventually break up. A few years down the road we get married.
I bet you have a good job.
>Am I crazy?
You married a woman that cheated on you.
Gotta laugh at all these men that believe their girl when she says “oh no baby i hated getting stretched and filled and pounded till my eyes rolled back in my head by that guy’s monster cock he like totally does’t understand female anatomy. I prefer your smaller than average dick that you have to compensate for with your fingers and tongue”
OldTimer85: Don’t think about it and don’t worry about. Back in my youth I’ve been with guys that were much bigger than my current partner. I remember them because they thought size was all they needed and frankly the sex was unpleasant. Not one had any idea how to please a woman. My partner now on the other hand is smaller but usually has me gasping for air and begging for a second round. Don’t compare yourself to others. She chose you in the end.
pm-me-ur-nsfw: She picked you, which is all that matters. His ship may have been massive, but it sounds like there wasn’t very much motion in the ocean.