Only oral sex does it for me now, but my GP says women rarely climax from penetration and I shouldn’t worry
I used to really enjoy penetrative sex and have great orgasms. For the past three years, though, I don’t seem to have been able to feel much, and I definitely can’t climax from penetration any more, only oral sex. I have tried speaking to my GP about these distressing changes, but am told that women rarely climax from penetration and I shouldn’t worry.
I wonder what changes have occurred over the past three years, perhaps in your relationship or lovemaking styles? There are several factors that could affect sensation inside your vagina, including the shape and/or size of a penis or penile object, and the positions of entry. Most of the nerve endings in a woman’s genital organs are situated in her clitoris, so the kind of vaginal penetration that stimulates this, or the area known as the “g-spot”, is more likely to lead to orgasm.
A new partner with a differently shaped penis might not be hitting the right spot. Ask for additional direct stimulation to help you orgasm, or try some different angles and positions. There are various sex-shop products that might be helpful, such as penile rings with attachments. Then again, sometimes people – male and female – suffer nerve damage in the genital area from accidents or sports injuries. You are at least experiencing orgasm from oral stimulation, but if this scenario could apply, consider having your nerve pathways checked by an expert.
• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders
• If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to firstname.lastname@example.org (please don’t send attachments).