Jing Tian nude in Pacific Rim 2
I finally lost my virginity and I feel nothing.
I don’t feel happy, sad, relieved, upset, confused. Just nothing. It was over so quickly. I’m not that old but I waited for the “right” moment and I don’t have anything to show for it.
Is this normal?
talkinboutfuckin: Yep, that’s an experience a lot of people have. For me and my then-girlfriend in college, it was just “well that was fun” but it didn’t feel magical like people try to build it up to be.
SleuthViolet: Sex takes practice to make it good between two people. You gotta keep at it, experimenting and learning together.
redbadger91: I feel ya. Had a similar experience. As I went home from her place the next day I was thinking something along the lines of “I don’t really feel any different. Do I look different? No, can’t be. Nobody seems to notice anything. Guess it’s not that important after all.”
helloWorld-1996: How did you expect to feel? You’re still the same you – she’s still the same her, the world doesn’t change because you do something you’ve never done before.
But let me tell you this; The first time wasn’t that special to me…. The second and third time were!
And when you say you waited till the “right” moment and have nothing to show for it, well, you may not feel dramatically different, but sex at a wrong time can definitely make you feel worse, so don’t be sad about having waited.
GinandJazzHands: I think too much value is placed on the first time someone has sex. A lot of people expect this fireworks moment and the reality is (usually) anything but.
I lost mine at age 31. I wasn’t really holding onto it at that point, but I also hadn’t really dated much or met anyone who I jived with enough to want to get down with. The day it happened was not expected. I dropped off some food for a friend who had just moved and I had just gotten off work. I don’t even remember how it happened but at some point we ended up in his bed and things happened. It was honestly pretty lackluster. The only thing I felt was annoyance that he didn’t even bother to ask me to stay for dinner.
In any case, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to feel one thing or another.
Poodol: For sure I know where you’re coming from. Everyone in this subreddit is of course going to be extremely sex positive and most appear to have very active sex lives. But all the people here and those in the rest of the world have lives outside of the bedroom as well. Sex is just something people do.
Tobi5703: As others have mentioned; the first time really isn’t anything “special”, most of the time, anyways. You don’t have to “feel” anything; you did something, now it’s done. Sex gets better with experience, so if the first time didn’t blow your mind, it kinda make sense
KidInAGrownupSuit: Losing your virginity is super over-hyped. I think people make a big deal out of it to prevent kids from getting knocked up or contracting STDs because they don’t know how to be safe.
ourbluntopinion: Virginity means nothing and is worth nothing m8
idontreallylikecandy: What exactly did you expect to have to “show for it”?
CBBuddha: Whoo boy. Yeah. I feel it’s that way with most people though. I was a little underwhelmed my first time. Expectations superseded reality. Got caught up in how I imagined it being, and left feeling good but confused. It gets sooooo much better though. Once you find someone who gets you, and you get them, it can be a deeply profound experience. As with most things, give it time and patience. And don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about it. Communication is key. And honestly sexy.
i_post_gibberish: The vast majority of people find losing their virginity underwhelming, I think. Just be glad you didn’t cry out of unexpected religious guilt like I did. And look forward to all the amazing sex that’s ahead of you, since presumably this wasn’t a one-time thing.
Wizardsmoke: Yeah. It’s just a natural thing people do. There is a huge build up based on it but really you’re just performing a bodily function.
DifferentResident8: I felt just the same. My high school boyfriend and I took each others virginity, I was absolutely head over heels for him at the time and it had been a long slow buildup, I half expected to feel reborn as a new woman. The reality of it is that I hardly remember it, not because of any memory impairment but because apparently the experience was just that lackluster.
vulvarvictory: Did you have fun? Did you orgasm? That is what matters. Not everyone is very emotional about sex.
I personally felt only disappointment after my first time, as I did not have an orgasm and it was not very pleasurable.
When sex is good, I tend to feel happy, energized, and motivated.
uglybutterfly025: I definitely didn’t feel any magic in the back seat of his Jeep lmao no connection either. But that was a long time ago now and with my bow partner of 3 and a half years I can say it is magical and I do feel the connection.
Good sex takes practice! And even after you are more used to it, not every time is going to be the best time
dutchgguy: ye happened to me too, second time was much better!
KatTrick77: Yeah, a lot of people build up having sex so much only to realize that it doesn’t live up to the hype in some cases (especially the first time)
Or it could be quite the opposite where you don’t put all the pressure on yourself about it and when it happens, it’s just another thing that happens
It doesn’t mean sex will always feel like that, either way
heddhunter: Totally. Luckily I had a bunch of friends who were more experience and when I knew it was likely to happen soon they were all saying “it’s not that great, it’ll probably be a bit of a letdown, you’ll think your hand is even better” etc. The girl I lost it with was also very chill about it. “People build it up like it’s the most amazing thing ever but it takes a while before you get to that stage, your first time you won’t last long probably. Don’t worry about it.”
It was fun, nice, pleasant, enjoyable. Not mindblowing. That had to wait until I met the ultimate love of my life and we had been married for quite some time.
Bullfist: Yea. Sex is better with experience. The first time always sucks ass.
SunsetValley21: Losing virginity is made to be seen as a big experience… It isn’t. It’s as simple as “I did it and that was it”. I feel like virginity and losing it are overrated.
Sinclairemurray: Yeah, it’s really not a big deal if you really think about it.
moncoeurpourtoi: I was desperate to be going out and having sex because it seemed like if you weren’t, you were either a prude or weird (some guys said this). I didn’t because I was dealing with some severe body image issues.
I didn’t have sex until the person I lost my virginity to, earlier this summer, at age 23. I’m really glad I get to say, that at the very least, I got to share that sort of vulnerability with someone I really loved. I didn’t feel special after or anything. It just felt normal, but also the relationship felt like it had this new aspect to it that I wasn’t aware of before.
compersious: Virginity is kind of a silly concept. As with almost everything in life you start off having not done it and at some point might do it.
It takes practice, knowledge and a compatible partner for it to be as good as it can be.
If you start learning to program computers, the first time you write a single basic line and see it’s affect is okay. But once you really start to get to grips with it and write cool stuff that’s actually useful is much better
Autarch_Sidero: Virginity is a concept invented to shame and control people. Just ignore it.
The_Gymbuster: Totally normal, I had it too. Sex is just sex! 🙂
It’s 100x better with someone you have deeper feelings for.
Kit4000: I think this is the thing about building up that first time. It’s made to seem like it’s this life altering, spiritual thing. It’s sex. As great as I think it is, it’s still an everyday occurrence.
But having said that, it typically gets better.
knowitallz: Yeah the expectation was more interesting than the real thing. Don’t worry it gets better
Lunee: I hope you had fun. It perhaps makes for a good memory.
If people expect more than that from losing virginity, then I’ve missed that memo.
monster_mentalissues: I felt the same way. Your not alone.
BrokenByLight: If you want to feel something the first time you do it I recommend sky diving. Sex has never come close to that high.
bikinigoddess7: Yes, dont worry about it it’s normal. Media, religion and society makes it seem like it’s this magical experience that firework and music will happen afterward but it doesn’t. It’s just that.
Plus the first time isn’t all that great but as you get used to it and start doing it more often you’ll enjoy more often especially if you’re a girl
vermin062: Well…what was the “right” moment meant to be?
hailkelemvor: Same. Had sex, dude wanted to stay to make sure I was ~okay~, but I told him I was gonna nap so he should go. Then just ate a sandwich and played Fable for a few hours, haha.
It’s whatever- there’s this huge importance placed upon it by culture, but it’s just…a fun thing?
stringspitter: It’s pretty easy to wave a hand & say “meh…” when you were the one that entered “the door”. But bring that up to the community that “strikes out” for whatever reasons, and they’ll want to pick up hard & heavy objects to throw at you. The words “Victory” as well as “Boring” are in the eye of the beholder.
rejecterr: The idea, image and meaning of virginity has been made out to be a huge deal when in fact it isn’t. Sex is sex and everyone in their life will experience it in their time.
It is perfectly fine to feel the way you do, you’ve a lot to learn and experience as time goes on.
Yonisecret: Maybe it feels different after the first time you have good sex, that’s what matters…
sexyredpanda2018: First time is overrated, Idk why its “special” and some ppl even wait till marriage. But when u get the hang of it, that’s when its magical and awesome. I think its just a myth made up by old timers before birth control existed so that’s wouldn’t be too many babies of unknown origin running around lol
26LT: It wasn’t crazy for me either. It was great in the moment and afterwards I just thought to myself “huh, I could do this more often!” No crazy emotions either though.
Rockininfinity: The closest thing to a “right” time or moment is the time or moment *”right”* when it happens.
confused_cephalopod: Yeah when I lost my virginity, I went home after, texted my friend “guess who just had sex”, and then ate Trader Joes cheese snacks and watched American Horror Story with my brother. It was the haunted house season, great series.
shiiinglee: that’s what happens when you put so much expectation into something .. when you build it up to be this great thing and it doesn’t reach your standards you’re just like .. Oh
YoloSwaggins1147: I waited until I was 20 for the right person, it was probably our fourth time that it felt absolutely the most beautiful thing in the world. It takes time and soon you’ll come to appreciate it with her.
RoutineDragonfly: It does (or should at least) get better. My first time was the typical story, though I am fairly certain most guys at least get off. In his defense, the whiskey dick was strong that night, but that doesn’t excuse the COSTCO size box of MAGNUM condoms when he could have used a regular condom and we would have been done quicker. Instead he kept losing the condom because it was too big, so he would grab another… we didnt go through half the box because it was so much fun we kept going….
Took me another year and two more partners to finally find one that helped me see how great sex can and should be. So chill, give it time, dont lose faith yet.
tfr5015: It gets better with experience.
HanBan30: I really enjoyed my first time and did feel different afterwards but then I never really thought about being a virgin or “losing” my virginity. I just saw sex as another activity to enjoy. And I ended up really enjoying it! 😀
tjmurphy6172: Once you eat pussy you will feel good nothing more sexier than watching your gf squirm and moan but I understand were you are coming from
DragonRaptor: Only thing that changed is I craved sex more after I had it then before I had. I’m actually a bit confused what you expected to happen.
Vinnydee51: Pretty much. I de-virginized three girls in my life and two of them took 2 tries and for all it was just telling me to do it and get it over with. No tears or any celebration. Just something to get out of the way so that they could have better sex. If they thought differently I never found out about it. My wife says she was just glad to get it over with.
BARchitecture: Oh good, you’re ready for the rest of life.