Women who have a Tinder who AREN’T looking for something “serious”, how do you want guys to approach conversation?
HeraBeara: Still respectful and nice. Just start as a PG conversation to see if there is a nice flow. Even with casual relationships you want to know who you are sleeping with and make sure they are a nice person.
Once you have a solid conversation, then you can confirm what you are looking for. Most people are going to want to meet – something lowkey – to ensure there is sexual chemistry before actually getting down to business.
I would make sure to level-set again any and all rules before actually getting intimate.
Soakl: Still treat them like a human and not somewhere to put your dick. There needs to be a fine balance between being open about intentions and making assumptions.
A lot of guys after asking what I use it for (I keep it vague with “not looking for a husband”) assume that means they can jump to sexting and that any meet will automatically include sex which is not the case.
Any guy that opens with something sexual is automatically written off because if they’re not going to bother making conversation or building a raport, then the likelihood of them giving a shit if the woman is enjoying themselves in the sack is going to be low.
piptaz94: My best casual experiences were when guys would still be respectful and everything. We’d have a normal conversation about work and life, the guy would casually mention that they weren’t looking for anything serious, then ask me out or vice versa. We’d have a nice date, go back to their place, then after that pretty much only talk when we wanted to hookup.
My worst tinder experiences involved guys who *were* just looking for something casual but didn’t make that clear from the get-go, and always beat around the bush if asked. Say they’d miss me then not talk to me for weeks, and when they’d finally talk again they just wanted sex. It’s cool to just want sex, but it’s not cool to act like it’s more than that.
And the ones who got completely ignored were the ones who said “hey u have a nice ass, let me hit it” right off the bat.
TheManWhoWasNotShort: Approach the way you would someone looking for something serious, pretty much. Flirt, invite out on a date/to grab drinks. If you hit it off, just ask her if she wants to come back to your place..
Not a girl, but that’s pretty much how it works.
no_anchor_needed: I’m like the others who have responded so far. Friendly and respectful, chat about non-sexual things even if we are upfront about the direction things are going. Sexting before actually meeting the person makes me uncomfortable and feels like too much pressure. I’m looking for signs that the other person is interesting and will respect my boundaries.
lunacrushingit: RESPECTFUL. Don’t be jacking off while you send me the first message! We are both adults, it’s possible to act like it despite the fact that we’re both DTF.
slayer991: As an old guy I just smh by what I read about how guys think they’re going to get laid on Tinder…then they get angry when they don’t.
Back in the day, if I wanted to pick up a girl at a bar (yes, you actually met people for the first time, face-to-face)…I had to talk to her, listen to her, make her smile, and seduce her to get laid. I could do this pretty successfully (in terms of casual one-nighters) and I was no better than a 7 looks-wise.
To you younger guys…put a little effort into it for crying out loud. Don’t come off as desperate either. Women dig confidence, NOT arrogance.
Get to know the girl a bit so you know she won’t turn into a stalker after you close the deal. She’ll want to do the same before you bump uglies.
crazyprotein: absolutely nothing different from “serious” dating. I was recently asked about my bra size, asked to send nudes, asked: “do you like chocolate dick?”. sigh.
don’t be a moron. a casual relationship is a relationship. it is already a bad sign you’re asking, but a good sign that you’re trying to learn 🙂
and never, ever, send unsolicited dick pics. ever.
empaige011: Just like one would approach a normal conversation. Just because I don’t want something serious doesn’t mean I want a guy to be creepy or disrespectful.
babygotbagels: Please still treat me like a human being. Like how you would get to know a new friend. Don’t act like I owe you sex because I’m on Tinder. Don’t expect sex to happen on the first date, if it goes there then good, if not there’s next time. Don’t be pushy.
ireasearch: I have had a guy from OKC insist we were on the same page… for some reason he thought when it says “…not looking for casual sex” that means the woman does casual sex. He drove an hour to see me. Boy was he disappointed.
andmorepro: TIL women like to be treated with respect.
zeebopbiddlywop: Respect and confidence
cycloneju51: It’s not the same for every girl. Some want you to beat around the bush, be nice, flirt, etc. Some want you to get straight to the point. It’s more about how you want to approach I️t.
lofiharvest: Im in a LTR, but when I was single, I found what worked was the normal chit chat and flirting with the added statement ‘Im just looking for something casual and to have some fun’. If she answered back ‘Ya, I’m not looking for anything serious either’ usually this would lead to sex if the in-person vibe was right. Keep it mind that all though fun, the hookup culture does present some risks and can lead to difficulty in seeking and finding an actual relationship as you eventually become accustomed to disposable relationships.
LibraryGal: Don’t be a fucking weirdo incel. It’s pretty damn simple.
shrekinlove: DIck PiCs aLl daY