Here are my thoughts after my first few one-night stands.
For context, I am a 27 year old female who was a virgin until I was 21 and had sex with my long-time boyfriend in college. He broke up with me, I graduated college, found a job (and somehow ended up with a promiscuous roommate) and after months of feeling super sexually frustrated, decided to explore my sexuality a bit. For the past 8 months or so I’ve slept with 7 guys, 5 of which were one-night stands, 2 of which were after a few dates. I’ve decided I’m through with my “wolfing around” now and after a few glasses of wine, have decided to share my humble opinions/takeaways with this wonderful, non-judgmental community:
1) Penis Size – I browse this subreddit all the time and am always in awe at the number of guys asking or joking about penis size. Out of the 7 guys I have slept with recently, I will tell you this (just my opinion of course): you all need to chill. The largest guy I’ve been with was probably 6 inches circumference (girth) and 8 inches in length. The smallest, probably 4.5 inches girth and 5 inches length. I really just don’t understand why the focus is always on length… the 8 inch guy was painful and thought he was rocking my world by pounding my cervix, and the 5 inch guy didn’t feel “short” – at all. The 6 inch girth guy vs the 4.5 girth guy just made my vagina feel more “full,” not “better.” What size girth is my dildo at home that has gotten me off for years? 4.5 inches. Look on amazon at the best selling dildo. That’s mine lol! It just honestly blows my mind at the obsession of size. I don’t mean to sound shallow, but the best sex of the 7 guys was the guy who was confident as hell, knew how to “work” me, and lasted more than 2 minutes (after the 1st round at least). This guy was probably 5 inch girth, 6 in length. This guy was not at ALL worried about a thing and was in the moment enjoying himself (and me). I’d say he was just present and fun…
Why/how do I know the measurements and why am I sharing it? Guys on here are obsessed with inches and measurements so I measured a few items around the apartment (spices, electric shaver, shave cream, etc.) and think I now have a good idea of their sizes. Just trying to appease the guys in this community.
2) Stamina – this matters most IMHO in terms of the “mechanics” of sex. Every single guy (all 7 – well, all 8 if you include my ex) didn’t last long at all the first go-round unless you include the drunk-as-shit guy who could barely keep a boner. My friends have all agreed one-night stands never last as long as you want them to until the 2nd or third round (if you get that lucky). I’m dead serious… all 8 never lasted more than a few minutes (2 to maybe 7 minutes) the first time. My roommate agrees and says this has happened on 95% of her one-night stands (and she’s had a lot more than me). Girls in long-term relationships – your sex with your significant other is probably 20x better than what you’d get from someone strange/new/exciting. Guys freaking out about not lasting long the first time they have sex with a new girl – we almost expect it. Chill and enjoy dude! The guy I mentioned in #1 (above) played it perfectly – he never once was focused on himself and seemed like he was determined to make the night fun and enjoyable for me. This is the guy I remember/daydream about the most and he didn’t last long at all the first go round. One guy acted kind of weird and left immediately after sex because (I presume) he was embarrassed at how long he lasted. Don’t be… seriously just don’t worry about it. Enjoy, take a breather, and come back for round 2 or 3 if she’s down for it.
3) Orgasms – It’s harder, for me, to get an orgasm on a one-night stand, especially if you didn’t go down on me. It’s 20x easier for me if I have a deeper connection to you other than just meeting at a bar for the first time and finding you mildly attractive. Also, if I don’t feel at least 85% confident that you find me attractive or you are acting like an asshole for whatever reason (obvious insecurity, acting out for your bros, etc.), I just simply cannot cum. It just won’t happen. I feel like this probably true for most girls.
For the guys that didn’t last long and left or the guys who didn’t go down on me, the vibrator/dildo was definitely used once you left. It takes me like 20 minutes to have a vaginal orgasm, and even then it doesn’t feel as good as a clit orgasm. That’s just one girl’s body though.
Just one girl’s opinion of sex in 2017. Take it easy guys/gals and enjoy yourselves. Confidence is key – for girls and the guys.
josephineblack: Did you go down on any of the one-night stands? What’s that number vs the number of guys who went down on you?
JDogish: Alright, well tell that to the girls saying “sorry dude, you’re kinda small, this won’t work”.
Ilikemyteaincups: This is strangely relevant to me.
I’ve been out of my first relationship for about a year, thus I’ve been very sexually frustrated and thinking of maybe trying this whole hook up culture thing (even though I don’t think it’s for me as I think I need a deep connection to get off – but your gal is desperately horny enough to try haha).
I’ve never actually had sex. Just hands and oral .
There’s this guy I initiated a chat with on a dating app, but he’s not mentally stimulating, which = not sexually stimulating for me. But I don’t know if I should still meet up with him purely to make out…never really branched out like this and it’s a bit daunting.
Maybe I should just stay sexually frustrated and wait for someone I connect with more. idk just ranting.
Nice post btw, v.reassuring!
Onecrappieday: That’s a pretty good run down on things.
Guys are worried about their manhood because 1) they watch too much porn 2) it’s their best friend that they’ve been playing with since they were 12… how would you like it if someone made fun off your best friend? 3) social stigma – from males and females alike…
krung_the_almighty: Thankyou for writing this
tsotherland: Very interesting observations. I am curious though whether I’m broken. No this isn’t huble-bragging. (heck, y’all don’t know who I am) But I’ve never had such a short round of fucking. Probably the fastest I’ve ever gotten off is 10 minutes and it’s usually 30+ Could others comment on the how common the quicky thing really is?
casino_night: I just started browsing this subreddit about two months ago and, I too, am surprised at how so many guys are hung up on their penis size. As a guy, this issue has taken up maybe thirty seconds of my life. I’m admittedly on the smaller side but I’ve never heard any complaints. As long as you focus on your partners needs and polish your mechanics, it shouldn’t really be an issue.