What happens when two “mature” adult virgins get together to lose it together?
Nothing awkward! Because research was done and they asked how to do stuff…good? Help. Please.
It’s honestly presumptive for me, specifically. I don’t think I’m losing my V-card anytime soon but I can’t predict the future and I’d rather just let it happen naturally with kind of an idea of what to do when I’m ready. I’m interested in a dude who I know is a virgin and if things go well, eventually, this is something I’d have to tackle with him. We seem to be having fun getting to know each other right now so no pressure on either side. 🙂
I like being prepared for situations so I won’t, you know, stop everything to ask internet strangers “how to sex” last minute. I am that type.
I tried googling this specific case and failed to get an answer for it, so it may help some shy couple out whose preparing for this day in the near future.
What advice would you give two adult virgins who are open to communicating with each other? Like mid 20’s up kind of adult.
Edit: Just thought of something. Besides condoms, is there anything you should have on hand? How messy is sex usually? Like how do I clean up afterwards? Like how idealized is sex in a car, etc?
Stuff like that would help greatly. I am aware but do not know of these things. Stuff you don’t see in porn.
I know thats not a good place to learn either…more for inspiration I guess. Idk.
mr___: It’s fun to figure it out together, build trust together, and tell each other about what you think you want the other person to do and then see if you like it… There’s no real wrong way to do it, especially once all those teenage anxieties about permission and appropriateness are gone
Whatchamathing: It honestly sounds more ideal than two 16 year old virgins. You’re hopefully more comfortable communicating.
Lube is good to have on hand – bodies don’t always get wet even if you are turned on, and condoms can also cause dryness. Water based (KY is horrible) or silicone lube would be good to have. Condom sex isn’t generally very messy unless you get very very wet, and then still, it’s just some fluid? Change the sheets later. Or put a folded towel down. When he’s come, he needs to pull out immediately (this is the sucky part of condom sex) while holding the rim of it to stop it from slipping off. Now he (or you, I guess) can pull off the condom, put a knot in it, and toss it (in the bin, not the toilet). It’s a good idea for you to pee afterward to help prevent UTIs.
Sex in a car is cramped and uncomfortable. If you know each other well and can get eachother off easily (and/or you get off on the public aspect) it can be fun, but very much not recommended for a first time. Get a bed and make sure you have a lot of time – get a hotel room if that’s the only way to create that situation. It’s an intense experience, it can make you feel very vulnerable, and it super sucks if afterward you have to get up and get dressed and each go your own way. Much nicer to be able to shower together and then cuddle up and fall asleep.
Be generous with guidance on how you like to be touched (gently moving his hand, asking for harder or softer or whatever) and with feedback when something feels good. If he isn’t giving you much to go on, ask him how he likes to be touched, ask him to guide your touches too.
Connect, is my main advice. Look into each other’s eyes. Touch skin to skin – a lot. It’s so nice. Don’t concentrate too much on the tab A in slot B aspect, concentrate on connecting and making each other feel good.
psilocybes: No special advice. Relax, take it at your pace, communicate, enjoy.