Lessons from my [F23] Year of Singleness: re-navigating the dating scene and exploring casual sex
TLDR: Just another 23 year old female sharing life lessons navigating her year of being single.
Before I start here’s a little about myself, I’m a fairly attractive graduate student working full-time at a start-up so I don’t have a lot of free time on my hands (I only really meet people on Tinder). I never have a hard time making matches and chatting with people. Getting a date is easy. The difficult part is weeding out all the potentials from the fuck boys, but even then everyone just wants to fuck these days, so you can’t really discern left from right.
I’m not going to lie as shitty as I currently feel writing this, the last year has probably been the most fulfilled I’ve ever been. Prior to this year I was very innocent to sex and hook-up culture, and damn I learned a fucking lot. My last relationship ended pretty abruptly, setting the tone to the beginning of my single life.
I was with my partner for over a year. He was my first love and I cared about him a lot. At the time, I was kind of living with him, he packed up all my belongings and suddenly broke up with me, leaving me devastatingly heartbroken. We tried to get back together, but that only lead to some insane breakup/makeup sex, and after a month of bullshit we finally ended things for good.
Completely distraught, sad and angry I was seeking serious validation from social media. I started posting a lot making sure people knew I was hot and available. The break up took a toll on my self-esteem. So I did what most people do post-breakup, I was on a mission for a rebound. It was very uneventful. I got drunk with a friend, we went to a club, got invited to an after party, and fucked a complete stranger in one of the bedrooms. The sex was mediocre. It completely turned me off from having a promiscuous phase. I was still pretty butt hurt by the breakup and the rebound didn’t solve shit. If anything it made me realize that sex with zero connection is not for me.
So for a good 3 months I stayed celibate… Until I found out my ex moved on. Then I felt extremely triggered and challenged myself to get out there and finally move on with my life.
Fast-forward to October 2017
By this point my ex was officially dating someone new. It hurt. A fucking lot. Like my heart was double deep-fried in spicy peanut oil, only to be cut up, breaded, deep-fried again, and fed to hungry savages.
After months of moping around I get back into the Tinder scene. I ended up meeting a dude. We chat for a bit, and end up scheduling a date. The evening proceeds well enough for us to be hanging out at his place, which to no surprise is conveniently around the corner from the bar we were at. We spend the rest of the night streaming adult swim videos, getting stoned, and one thing leads to the other, we start making out, clothes come off, and the rest is history. We fuck at least three more times that night. It was awesome. I had forgotten how great it felt to be with someone. Sex after a long hiatus is amazing.
He reinvigorated my libido. It made me realize what I’ve been missing all this time. So for a solid month, we kept hanging out and fucking, until the real boner killer happened- I started to catch feelings. So I did what every non-confrontational millennial does and confronted him via text saying I can’t continue to fuck him without any feelings involved. Then things got weird. After weeks of being emotionally blocked he unleashes a Pandora’s box confessing he’s in love with another woman and he’s waiting for her to come back from a 6 month backpacking trip. They agreed to have an exclusivity conversation when she’s back in December.
Okay fair. I cannot compete with love, but the entire time he failed to inform me of any of this beforehand. He then asks if we can be just friends, no sex but he just wants the company. From that point on, I knew I couldn’t create a meaningful romance with this guy, so for a solid month we were just friends, but my horniness got the best of me, and we fucked again a couple weeks later. I got really upset when the girl finally came back, so I decided to pack my shit up and leave town for a bit. Full disclosure I never expected on catching feelings, but it kinda just happened. And you’ll see it’s a reoccurring theme in my dating life.
What I learned: In that moment I realized men aren’t just sex crazed people, they’re human beings with feelings who crave the same amount of love and attention that everyone else desires. Guys tend to bottle up a lot of emotions, and honestly sometimes they just need someone to sit and listen to them. Remember to treat your hookups with kindness and respect, after all we’re only human everyone is deserving of consensual touch, warm affection, and emotional support.
We’re still fwb, occasionally hooking-up and sending each other nudes. Despite realizing we can never be in a romantic relationship, we have a meaningful connection. From complete strangers, it is possible to make friends on Tinder. Furthermore, far from popular belief it is possible to be just friends with someone and still have sex with them.
Fast forward to December 2017
I’m on a road trip to the Windy city. I spend my days eating alone, checking out museums and browsing the art scene. Bored and alone (that’s how it usually starts), I open Tinder and end up on a date with another boy. We start the night off at a dumpling restaurant. Chatting about grad school and life, after dinner we find ourselves at a live show nearby. Somewhere in between the conversation starts turning to psychedelics. He invites me over to try shrooms (don’t try this at home kids) I said fuck it why not yolo, and I found myself back at his place. One thing lead to the other, cuddling under the sheets and boom ANIMALISTIC SEX. I swear to God, sex on mushrooms is like entering another level of human. Fuck man add that to your bucket list one day.
What I learned: Sometimes its necessary to escape your problems and feelings. It’s good to re-calibrate once in a while. This experienced reminded me how you need to be open minded to enjoy yourself in this world. Had I been a total recluse by being butt hurt from my fwb, I never would have had the opportunity to explore a city, trip out and have great sex. I mean it all comes down to perspective I guess. I wouldn’t have gone on that trip if it wasn’t for the fwb situation, and so it was a necessary experience to get to where I needed to be.
After my trip I match the most beautiful man. His profile was perfect. We had most amazing first date at an art gallery. Hands down the best date I’ve ever been on. However, that story doesn’t end too well unfortunately. He turned out to be married in an “open relationship”, and we kept our fling for six months. If you want to read more into that, I actually posted it on adultery forum. I fell in love with a married man, and kept fucking him.
What I learned: The reasons why people stay in dead relationships are often complex and incomprehensible to the rest of society, only those involved in the union will truly understand the situation. I learned that staying in relationships isn’t always about love, but more of mutual benefit. I learned how easy it is to fall for someone when all you experience is the good. I learned that sex is a big catalyst for catching feelings. I learned how to guard my heart and body better. I learned the unapologetic feelings of guilt and shame. I know karma will get me for this one day, and I’m scared shitless. I stopped sleeping with him in June. I never confronted him about his wife, and I never truly figured out if he was actually in an open relationship.
Before going to Chicago, I matched with a guy back in December we never really had the opportunity to hang out until after the new year. Defeated by my recent experiences, I convinced myself I wasn’t looking for a relationship anymore. I told myself casual dating was okay for me, so then I went on a date with this guy. Our date was typical, didn’t feel super sparks, but I really enjoyed his vibes. I was horny and dtf, so I slept with him on the first date. But then we started seeing each other pretty frequently. We watched movies, cuddled, fucked. We started making dinners together. Then brunch. Sex with him just kept getting better and better. He loved to make me cum. I loved cumming with him. Fuck this went on and off until March, then he suddenly ghosted me. No warning, just disappeared.
Surprisingly I was not as butt hurt as before. I kind of let things fizzle out, but then he texts me an apology a couple of weeks later and we fuck again in April.
When I moved out of the city, that’s when I finally admitted to myself that I fucking like this guy. More than I would like to admit the defeat of controlling my feelings, I felt overly compelled to express my feelings. So I wrote him a love letter and delivered it to his doorstep with an accompanying art piece and record vinyl. That is probably one of the craziest things I’ve ever done for a dude. Unfortunately for me the feelings were left unrequited, he said he was emotionally unavailable, but enjoyed our sexy times together.
My thoughts are clear and my heart is pure. As much as I’d like to say I’m over this guy I still kinda pathetically have feelings for this man. We talk occasionally. The last time we saw each other was in June. I knew I wasn’t completely over him when I cried after saying goodbye.
What I learned: Rejection stings, but it saves you a lot of time contemplating on figuring things out. Knowledge is power my friends, and once you know someone is into you or not, you can move on with your life and put your energy towards greater and better things. Even if things don’t work out between the two of you there’s no need to burn any bridges. Who knows one day you’ll run into each other again in the future.
Fast-Forward to August 2018
I don’t regret any of the events that took place this last year. I treasure each moment as a life lesson.
Looking back at it all I’ve grown a lot. In the little span of a year I’ve become so much more appreciative about things. Life is so wildly beautiful, and even as shitty and unexpected life can get, you have to allow yourself to live a little. Make more meaningful connections with people, make some mistakes, learn to enjoy the moment, and be content with where you are now.
I am finally proud to say I’m genuinely content with being single. I’m okay spending my alone time with myself. I’ve further learned to change my mantra and ground myself in more wholesome things like biking and art. I’ve realized that sex played a big role in validating my worth. I enjoy sex a lot, to the point where I used it as a source of distraction. I’ve since learned to control my high libido and stopped using men as toys instead I self pleasure with my vibrator and dildo. I highly encourage you all to orgasm at least once a day. It’ll make you a much more joyful person.
If you pause from the rush of seeking and searching for the one, you’ll begin to realize that you’re the one you’ve been searching for the entire time. As cliche as it sounds the biggest lesson you can learn in life is to love yourself.
Edit: I didn’t realize how big this post would get:
Thank you everyone for reading my thoughts! Someone suggested I should write in gonewildstories or start blogging, and based on this feedback I think I might, so look out for that!
I know a lot of you have commented ‘wow 23 years old and she’s ONLY realizing men are human beings with feelings,’ ‘she calls 3 months celibacy, she’s so ignorant.’ I didn’t want to share a sob story of being butt hurt, I wanted to write words of encouragement for those of you who feel stuck in the dating world, but I guess I should share a little more context on my mentality behind sex and relationships.
I grew up in a fairly traditional Asian Christian home. Sex in general was always shameful, and was only done in the construct of marriage between a man and a woman. When I was in high school I was sexually assaulted at a friend’s house party. It took me a very long time to get over that event, I was super depressed and mildly suicidal after the trauma. I had no one to talk to about the experience, I felt completely dejected and alone. For years I was fearful of men, fearful of relationships with men, fearful of getting too close, fearful of sex. During my undergrad, I ended a potential relationship with an amazing friend because I was extremely scared of being taken advantage of. I didn’t want to withhold sex from him (an important factor in relationships), and so I ended things prematurely because I wasn’t ready to tell him my story.
It took me a really long time to get over the emotional and psychological baggage of the assault, and honestly it wasn’t until this last year I was able to truly appreciate sex positively and embrace my high libido in a healthy manner. If any of you want to reach out for support, I’ll try my best to get back with some solid advice.
For those of you who are feeling super stuck, it gets better. It really does. Don’t lose hope.
Phoen: > If you pause from the rush of seeking and searching for the one, you’ll begin to realize that you’re the one you’ve been searching for the entire time. As cliche as it sounds the biggest lesson you can learn in life is to love yourself.
Well. You did it. You put words on something I’ve been maturing over the past months.
I’m early in this process of self-(re)discovery and becoming open to the world and others but I’m really happy about the small progress I’ve made so far and looking forward to what’s coming !
justbored94: Wow what a great post. Thank you for sharing.
Question: what about that guys tinder profile made it perfect? I have no luck with any online stuff and I have no idea why it’s not clicking because I’m not a creep or ugly as far as I know.
Any advice from a female perspective on what makes a girl want to hook up is appreciated.
skeptical_introvert: Thanks for the revealing stories. I can relate to a lot of this having been divorced for a couple of years now and have learned a lot of the lessons you shared. I too utilize Tinder/Bumble/OKC to meet women and generally it hasn’t taken too long (few weeks to a month or so) to find a new partner when I’m looking.
**Question:** It seems like most of the partners you reveal you ended up having sex almost immediately (1st date) but then you tell how you “caught feelings” and that made things complicated (I’m broadly summarizing, hope it’s not too off). My question for you and everyone is what is your opinion about the right way to handle a relationship situation like this? If the sex is good and they are pleasant enough company but there isn’t a spark for long-term material how quickly is it right to rush to this conclusion and either end it or at least discuss how you view the arrangement (“I’d enjoy this as a FWB but don’t see this going anywhere serious) versus just let it develop until it becomes more clear how you both are feeling?
The reason I ask is that I can start to feel guilty after a 2nd or 3rd sexual encounter if I’m not catching feelings and worry that they think I am feeling something, guilty that if and when I were to end things that they would accuse me of just using them past that first time. Not entirely rational I know, so maybe just the result of coming out of a long term relationship.
noexpforme: This was me too—April 2017. Only difference is I stayed in the depression stage for most of the next year and didn’t learn anything! Still haven’t! At least not before reading about your experiences
Groslan: This is not a reflection on you and barely relevant but I find the phrase ‘catching feelings’ to be one of the more insipid nu-phrases going around (how long *has* it been going around? Oh god I’m getting old) it makes it sound like falling for someone is something icky, an illness one wants to avoid but can learn to live with. Like in incurable STD. I just hate it. The first time I heard it was when I reentered the dating world middle of last year and the woman I was hooking up with said she was catching feelings for me and like, immediately backed off. Is that the nature of hookup culture/the modern dating world? I can’t handle that kind of thing. I guess I am getting old and worthless. Which is why I’ve been single for a year and a half and see no end to it I suppose.
foxhound525: Heres my story!
2014 – Get dumped by the only woman I ever loved (sexual incompatibility)
2014-2017 – Sink into a pit of depression. Celibate.
2017 – decide to fight back, join a gym, crush my depression, begin rediscovery of the self. Celibate
2018 – Find 2 girls I liked (at different parts of the year). One talks the talk for weeks, slowly takes longer and longer to respond. I tell her that I’m not down for whatever this has become and bail. I join a dating site. One girl I like messages me. Talk for 2 weeks, she’s seems really into me and wants to come see me, ghosts the day before we were due to meet. I tell her good luck finding what she wants but I can’t deal with someone that shit. Realised that people are generally awful, dishonourable, time wasters. Decide to focus on the few people in the world that aren’t shit, my friends. Still celibate, still don’t care.
PM_ME__YOUR_FACE: Jesus that must be nice to be able to open up an app on your phone and know you can be fucking or just meeting somebody within a day if you want to. I’m not unattractive at all, but Tinder is a very different beast depending on your gender.
fabulo5o: Rough times you’ve had in the dating world. Getting fucked whenever you feel like by whomever you feel. Getting annoyed and upset when guys want to fuck and believing a guy’s desire to fuck is inferior to yours. Thinking 3 months is somehow considered celibate. Probably wading through hundreds and hundreds of potential suitors on Tinder and complaining about that too.
Oh and free mushrooms! Dating is so hard.
OP: I fucked a man who is very likely married.
Reddit: U go girl!!!! Awww shit sex positive!!!!
Once all the comments made her realize how ridiculous this post is, she changed the entire nature of the post at the tail end to make naysayers feel bad.
This post makes me never want to date again. Yuck.
ohbeep: So much yes. A bit older than you, I’ve had similar situations but really haven’t taken the time to stop and reflect. (6 year ltr ended and I went tinder buckwild the year after; am just taking the time now to analyze) So very much appreciate this post!
humancalculus: At first I had taken this as a fairly entitled-sounding humble brag. But reading it in the context of the emotional scars you cited at the end, I can relate.
I was bullied a lot through middle school and teased/emasculated for my body looking the way it did by my first girlfriend. I was then sexually reserved up until my early 20’s. I just did not trust women by any means. Sex was a monumental feat to tackle.
Though, I have my hangups still being 31– I am a lot better and have been since a relationship that I had several years ago. I wish you the best in finding what is right for you.
Windryder: huh. What a great post. I wasn’t expecting anything THIS good when I clicked on the link. I was expecting some blurbs and whining, not intelligent and mature self reflection. I think you are a person worth knowing, especially if you keep up this habit of self reflection.
Miss_B_Taco: Sex and drugs. Yup, sounds exactly like what I expected from a post from a 23 old would.
JFChurchill: This post is hilarious. I obviously didn’t read this teenage diary but it starts with; “I’m a fairly attractive graduate student”…. uhm, ok whatever.
And ends stating “she’s proud she’s single” and “you should lover yourself”
If you were so happy being single you wouldn’t have written this book about yourself just to get attention!
I don’t get why this receives so many upvotes in this subreddit. It’s hardly about sex.
NYCMusicMarathon: >If anything it made me realize that sex with zero connection is not for me.
Good lesson learned.
>lesson you can learn in life is to love yourself.
Better lesson learned.
gymleader_michael: A single year of being single and it’s some kind of great journey. Wow.
Also, you were 23 before you learned men are human beings with feelings? The more I read on this subreddit the more I’m also glad to be single.
BF8211: > In that moment I realized men aren’t just sex crazed people, they’re human beings with feelings who crave the same amount of love and attention that everyone else desires
You’re a graduate student and it still took you 23+ years to figure that out?
brewmastermonk: Wait until you’re celibate for 6 years.
mackattack17: Can I just say thank you so much? Also a F/23/grad student. Just got told the FWB is no longer interested and hasn’t been for a while (I’m at an internship across the country), and it stung more than I thought it would. I want to remain friends with him, but I’m feeling a little butthurt right now – I’m starting to realize that I did have feelings, I guess, and unrequited feelings are extra painful for some reason.
Anyway. Thanks for this. You’re right about not burning bridges. I think after a week of cool down and perspective I’ll attempt some form of reconciliation – after all, we get along amazingly well.
I worry about the dating scene. Tinder has such a stigma around it, but where else am I supposed to meet people when I’m working 50 hrs a week in one building? If anybody has tips on meeting people in real life, please hook ya girl up.
ReturnOfTheFox: Sex on mushrooms is beyond words.
luckyphil59: Amazing transformation sweety. And as we grow we keep a little piece of each of our partners in our hearts and minds
roterabe: Well. I was in a relationship for 2 years but was very happy when it ended because I wasn’t happy with where things were going. She liked the breakup too.
She got sexual freedom even though I was the one who didn’t get any in that relationship.
Either way, some 2 months of 14hr/day shifts and another 6 months of gym later (I also cut my long hair down to 1mm) I finally found another woman I genuinely enjoy being with. It’s not about the sexual aspects, rather just being with her and playing games on PC or watching anime. She used to go out with a friend of mine from the gym but she wasn’t happy with him.
So I guess you are indeed as right as everyone else is. Just do whatever, go with what feels right and even if your current plans are ruined, you can always start again from 0.
dkernahan211: Omg as someone that came out of an 8 year relationship into a 2 year rebound. This is was an amazing read. The 2 year rebound ended and i’m currently going through the worst heartbreak of my life. But this has definitely lifted my spirits and even motivates me to move forward and learn to love myself. Thank you kind internet stranger!
A_solo_tripper: > I swear to God, sex on mushrooms is like entering another level of human. Fuck man add that to your bucket list one day.
Ever had sex on anything else?
damageddude: I’m a 50 year old widower (get your mammograms when the time comes) who is back on the dating scene for the first time in almost 25 years. One thing I quickly re-learned, I don’t like random sex now and remembered I didn’t like random sex even when i was 23. I always had to be in a relationship (or a FWB if that had come up). When I met my wife (26/24) we were like rabbits, before that I hadn’t been in a relationship in 18 months or so and was celibate all that time. But that was me.
Everybody has different libidos, mine needed to be in a relationship. Some people don’t. 23, you have so much ahead of you to experience and enjoy. Have fun, you really are only young once.
fcking77: Your post looks like a movie lol
darrellgh: This is an outstanding piece of writing. I’d definitely read more of your writing. Good luck with all of it.
ruminthetum: This is the sort of experience I wish I could begin to have, a journey I think would be incredibly therapeutic for me.
I’ve been single for 6 years, and only in the last 2 years have I really started dating again. I’ve had one fwb in that time, for a few months, but we were wildly incompatible and she really turned me off casual sex.
I’ve tried Tinder (where I met the fwb) but after a couple of years of very little luck otherwise I’ve decided that’s it for me, I’m not trying it anymore.
I don’t have a lot of luck with dating, but I do hope that sometime soon I can begin meeting people, dating people and sleeping with people, who through my experiences with them, help me learn more about myself.
majaltroute: Thank you for writing this.
I’ll be honest: I stopped reading your post halfway because I was so irritated that it’ll end with you ~falling for some man~ and saying that everything in your life is perfect with him. I’ve been really bitter and dejected lately. I’m glad I finished reading though and am really happy for you for the growth you’ve allowed yourself.
I grew up in a traditional, sex-toxic household. I’m still trying to unlearn my fear of men and trust issues towards them, just not wanting to let them in too close in general. How did you get over this fear? I’m 22f, haven’t been in a sexual relationship w anyone for context.
a-pretty-flower: I’m around the same age as you and reading this put me in such a better place mentally. Thank you.
interwebbed: nice post for sure, take that with you moving forward, if you ever do get into a serious and life-lasting relationship it seems like you are more than equipped to handle the emotional and physical aspects of what a REAL relationship should be, and you will be more able to tell in the future who has those similar characteristics so that you both cruise life together. It’s truly amazing when you meet that someone that’s been through similar experiences like you and share the same thoughts and ideas, everything just clicks organically and it just feels right from the get-go.
I’ve always said it’s good to get your heart broken, break a heart, be promiscuous, make mistakes because in the process you truly learn who you are as a person and what you value in a romantic relationship. It’s happened to me and I’m 27(m) now, the past 6-7 yrs have been all over the spectrum where I;ve been with a slew of women who have hurt me and who I’ve hurt, had something casual with, or had small flings with but nonetheless it wouldn;t have led me to where I am now. I’m pretty sure I have met the love of my life who i can confidently say “I can be with you forever or for as long as I can” and when you can say that about someone and be 100%, it’s a great feeling and everything you’ve been through with anyone, anyone you’ve met, anyone who’s hurt you and who you have hurt, once you have that someone at the end of the say, it makes all worth it. I’m sure it’ll be the same with you. and you are only 23, you will learn lots and lots more as I’m sure I will as well.
YoichiLD: I just want to point out that all the girls who say “no hook ups” on their profiles are really missing out. Look how many (all) of her notable stories started off with relatively low expectations but they all nearly ended in a substantial experience. Being to focused on the end makes you miss all of the joy in the journey, and you ca. Tell that OP had a lot of fun and a lot of filling experiences.
All ups come with downs, but if you never go down you can’t ever come up.
Ronoh: Amazing post. A very nice recount of your experiences and your lessons that I show how your grew and learned on the way.
I think that your edit is also fantastic, because you mention the trauma you were carrying but while it enriches the post it makes it clear how you had grown over it and how it doesn’t define you.
I personally admire how leveled and mature you come across and while that doesn’t mean that you don’t have things to learn or have everything figured out it definitely suggests that you are on the right path. You are a nice human. Keep it up!!
teyonce: As a newly single girl of a 5 year relationship I really appreciated reading this. Dating is uncharted territory for me and half the time I have no idea what I’m doing so it was nice hearing another perspective.
FatesFinest: To be honest, if you were more attractive a lot of these guys would have wanted something more serious. The fact that they all just wanted sex from OP is very telling.
dcfb2360: Interesting post. Imo everyone should be honest about with they’re looking for, both with the other person and also with themselves. Sadly that doesn’t always happen, and that leads to hurt feelings. You seem very introspective and thoughtful OP, that’s a very good quality to have.
barturas: Thank you for this story.
OkCoolBeanz: This is a such a great post. I just recently got out of a relationship and I’m trying to explore that about myself too. Thank you for this. It’s just nice to hear someone going through similar things and trying to grow from your experiences!
RoxsMySoxs: Absolutely loved reading this! Thank you for sharing.
hotchaitealatte: I can relate to this. Really love this, thank you for it. Love is just around the corner for you, and one day you’ll meet someone who makes you realize why all the others did not work out. Good luck x
Iceman_B: Amazing story, more people should read this. As real as it gets.
magn0la: Bravo, well written and thanks for sharing. I’d like to be friends with you in real life, you sound like a cool dudina 😃
lpkzach92: This was honestly such a great post, rarely do I really read a long story. But the wording and how was put together kept me involved from start to finish. You should really look into writing stories or blogging professionally. Thank you for the share, take care.
cmdrNacho: Out of curiosity whats the race mix of the people that you date primarily ?
violet_anarchy: I think these lessons could possibly apply more towards young people. I’m glad it worked out for you but at 23 I’d definitely think having a year of singleness should probably be expanded.
Also side bar…I’ve noticed people putting tldr at the beginning of a long post. Is it me? I thought tldr was for the summarized version of a post not at the beginning of a very long one.
RyanL17: Amazing post. Is it weird that it was a bit like a sexual fantasy novel at one point? Some very sexy reading right there!
grownupboy: thank you for your openness. and thank you for sharing!
brie0505: Had me until you admitted you were a mistress.
Black_Avi: That part about the married man was the most awful one. “Oh shit, I HIGHLY doubt that he’s in an actual open relationship… But Imma keep on fucking him anyway because I only care about self-liberation and good orgasms! Who cares about the wife’s feelings, amirite?! Look at me I love myself so much!” FUCKING PATHETIC. You should be ashamed and not posting this shit disguised as a self-help, feels-good-journey bullshit.
bothsidesnow: Amazing piece. That should be in a magazine or something. I learned so much!
katiexangelx: Thank you for sharing. You’ve opened my eye’s to things I didn’t want to see, but needed to see. I hope I can get on the right path to self-healing, and stay there.
TheTulipWars: Beautiful post! Thank you, and I can relate so much that it’s made me really happy to be able to know I’m not alone here!
FreshPrinceOfIndia: People always go on about the complexity of a relationship and how only they know whats up but youre a wack motherfucker if you cheat. I can only see 2 situations in which Id be perfectly ok with cheating and thats 1) if you were forced into a marriage and 2) your partner is abusive in which case it may be seriously hard to leave.
Fark I feel sorry for that wife. She deserves someone better.
Edit: Im not shitting on the rest of her post. I think its a good reflection. What I said above is regarding the adultery.
youngprettyreckless: I felt like I was reading the script to a Sex and the City episode. Thanks for sharing!!
[deleted]: OP, is normal sex not that great now you’ve experienced it on mushrooms?
texmexsushi: This post is inspiring me to journal my own adventures right now as I ended a long term relationship a few months ago as well. I really relate to these experiences. I love the reflection and being able to look back with an open mind. Thanks OP!
SaharaCats: Wow this is very similar to my first year after my break up experiencing other men. It’s been a year since I’ve been single. One thing I learned about myself is that I lose interest very fast but the one that I had feelings for the most, was the one that did the most damage to my heart/brain. Just gotta keep moving along and the right dude will come by eventually!
Austin98989: >The difficult part is weeding out all the potentials from the fuck boys, but even then everyone just wants to fuck these days, so you can’t really discern left from right.
I believe this is a constant in the human condition, not a variable.
omni_noob: Thank you for this thoughtfully organised, well written, and insightful post!
Dingaste: I love this post. I’m going to share it with my new love.