Sexy in hot
(22F) I’m very self-conscious about having sex because of my vagina.
Since the age of 5, I’ve always been a chubby kid and as the years went on, I’ve always felt very insecure of my own body. Fortunately since this year, I have tried working on my body and so far I’ve lost 20 pounds. I’m currently 280.
However, I haven’t been really putting myself out there to date because I’m still insecure about my body. I’m still a virgin and I really want to be in a relationship but I’m so afraid of having to one day show my fat body to someone, especially my vagina. I always hated my own vagina since I was little. I have a lot of pubic fat to the point where I can’t seen my vagina anymore, I would have to pull it all the way apart just to see it. I also have an odd odor problem that I just can’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard I try. I practically shower every day but the smell always seems to come right back.
The only sort of sexually contact I ever had was in high school. Me and this guy that I liked started fooling around and he was trying to finger me. He asked me “Why is your vagina so big? And why does it smell? You don’t clean yourself down there?” I stop right than and there cuz of how humiliating that was for me. After that experience, I never bother trying to date because of awful I felt about myself.
Idk if is anyone that can give me advice or tips to have more sexual confidence in myself.
williamtheodore31: The odor could be a yeast infection and/or imbalanced PH levels. My gf had the same problem for months, eventually saw a doctor, was told it was a yeast infection, had to take a bunch of antibiotics and get rid of it.
Edseteraandsorts: The main key is to take care of yourself. When you say you “practically shower every day” that’s a sign to me that you might shower every other day, if that. I’m uncircumcised and used to be very self conscious about that as well (they can get dirty and smelly easily). In order to not worry about it, I maintained my hygiene, showering every day, and only washing with warm water and not scented soaps on my penis, that might help with yours too.
I may be wrong but I think there are treatments for women to improve their vaginal hygiene. From an experience I’ve had very applicable to this: a girl I really liked, wanted to have sex with for a VERY long time. We started going at it and when she took off her pants, it was very pungent and I lost my erection immediately. I think once a man or woman smells something unpleasant from that our crotches, it’s a big turn off. If you can get that in order, I don’t think your weight will be much of an issue. Men aren’t very picky and if you are thinking they are, go after different men.
Changing your diet to more fruits and vegetables will help a lot. When I was having sex regularly, my ex and I would both taste and smell MUCH better when our bodies had healthier foods to digest. We each liked to be clean before sex so we’d shower together a lot and clean up before getting in to bed.
That last part is a few steps ahead from where you are but you’ll get there eventually, you just need to take care of yourself – commit to that self care – and you’ll cross paths with someone who loves you. As a man, I can tell you that in today’s society, a woman who has had very few to no sexual partners is VERY appealing, so once you get yourself taken care of, you’ll have no problems.
a427m: First off you don’t need to be any type of way for you to love yourself and for someone to love you. I’m sure that experience may have been traumatizing and I’m sorry things happens the way they did. The smell could be for many reasons, maybe your smell was just different from what he’s ever experienced so he called it weird, what does he know!? Also vaginas come in all sorts of sizes and are different on all of us. I’m 23 f and a bit heavier than you are and yes I’m trying to lose weight blah blah lol. I recently lost my virginity to someone that I felt completely comfortable with. He’s a good friend and wayy thinner than me. Honestly I could’ve had sex a long time ago with some random guy looking to fuck but that’s not what I wanted. I’m the type of person that won’t do something unless I’m absolutely comfortable and having sex for the first time is definitely a scary thing. My friend has never made me feel bad about myself or uncomfortable which I’m so grateful for. And the years leading up to this of course I was sexually frustrated and I was insecure and never put myself out there. But what is important to take away is that you are enough the way your are now and the fact you’re trying to make healthier decisions is great. Super cliche and frustrating but someone will come into your life, as a friend or boyfriend and that person will make things fall into place. Best of luck!
westcoastnurse: Summer’s Eve is a chubby person’s best friend.
Also, take a bath before sex and just put a finger inside of you and make a swirl motion up and around your cervix.
Make sure you pull the hood over your clit back (our equivalent to a foreskin) and make sure it’s clean as well. Summer’s Eve is great for men as well. I used to have my 5’10” 270 lb boyfriend use it all the time before going down on him. Takes away any unwanted smell.
Other than than just fake it until you make it. LOVE your body, and make sure to take the time to tell it what you love about it as often as you can. I’m in my early 30’s and actually believe how much I love my body now. You’ll get there 🙂
Early 20’s are rough on many fronts! Also, don’t have sex with dickheads. If one man doesn’t like your body just as it is, there are countless others who will.
Oh and one last thing from a previously overweight woman, give up cardio and start lifting heavy weights. I wish I had done that years ago. Barbell Medicine is a great place to start (there’s a Facebook group). Exercise is love in action for our bodies.
scaredtodeath235: I started smelling funky after menopause. I’ll be honest it’s not pretty, but I use eucalyptus oil to freshen my panties. Right before I let a guy go down on me I’m dropping some peppermint oil on my vag. It will probably burn like hell. But if he asks why my pussy tastes minty fresh…I’d say, cause it’s tasty. Oh what the hell live a little. Make dudes wonder….why’s your pussy smell like a mint.
I’m not making the argument this is good advice.