FWB is upset and feels disrespected because I laughed at something he said during sex
We were having sex like normal, everything was going good, then he said “you’re daddy’s little whore,” and it made me laugh. I fell onto the bed as I laughed because it totally caught me off guard. Needless to say sex was over at that point.
He was really quiet and got dressed right away. I asked him what was wrong and he said “that was kind of disrespectful, don’t you think?” I told him I couldn’t control my reaction and I didn’t mean to disrespect him, he said my intentions didn’t matter and he felt disrespected regardless. I apologized but his demeanor didn’t change. He finished getting dressed and just left while I was in the bathroom, he didn’t say goodbye or anything.
I texted him yesterday and apologized again. I also explained how it caught me by surprise because he’s never said anything like that before and I was a little stoned too. He didn’t reply.
It’s not like I did it on purpose and I felt bad once I knew he thought he was being disrespected.
Was my reaction really that out of line?
KatieOhThree: No you’re fine. That’s the kind of thing you say when you’ve discussed it beforehand imo. It’s not a “normal” thing to say really. If he wants to throw his toys out the pram because he opened his fetish box without letting you know then so be it.
LrdPrn: He calls you a “little whore” and has the balls to talk about *him* being disrespected? FFS, dude.
You weren’t out of line, laughing isn’t something you can or should control during sex. Look at the bright side though, if you’re just casual, who cares?
smollishfreak: It sounds like he was embarrassed honestly. But he should have asked you before saying it.
stray-sheep: He’ll text you back once his hurt ego recovers. He expressed his desires to you in an unexpected way and got upset when you were surprised! He hasn’t handled this well.
mouzej: If you can’t laugh during sex, you aren’t gonna have fun. Personally, I wouldn’t have apologized more than once.
YouDiggg: He was in pornhub mode
lost_in_the_clouds: Great sex always involves a partner who can laugh at themselves. It’s okay!
At the end of the day, it’s also about communication.
1) he said something
2) it was funny to you
3) he got angry
4) you apologized
5) he should communicate or explore why he’s upset. The burden to communicate is now on him. You’ve established you’re open to talking (as well as more sex!). Some of it may have to do with his attitudes regarding sex or his personal practice (esp if he enjoys porn). There may be a component of shame or embarrassment which is why he’s not comfortable talking.
024elocm: I would have laughed too.. he probably did a Google search of things to say during sex and thought he hit the jackpot with that one.
Dakota98-: If he went out the door let him go. You need to surround yourself with humor similar to yours.
whorechata98: he sounds like a big baby. if he never talked about it before how were you supposed to know that it meant that much?
loladehoe: It’s not you. It’s him.
If he won’t take apology, even though you have nothing to apologize for, that’s on him.
If he likes the sex, which I can’t see no normal guy not liking it, he’ll be back.
Let him cool down.
If he doesn’t. Oh well, his lost. He can go find another “daddy little whore”
maduminx: I had this same reaction when my last boyfriend said “you want me to pump a hot load into you?” during sex. I literally couldn’t help it, it was the cringiest thing I’d ever heard during sex. We laughed about it for like a minute and then got right back into it.
This guy sounds fragile af
smartyr228: I mean, you did laugh at them during sex whole they’re trying to be sexy. I mean this sub is an echo chamber so they’ll say your fine cuz it was a man but that’s kinda fucked up imo
notverycreatiive: Laughing during sex should be normal, especially when it’s just fun to begin with! Thats an interesting place to start with dirty talk anywaya lol. Definitely shouldn’t be an opener…
Sounds like he has deep rooted issues that don’t involve you. Find another!
Bunit2: Man look…. Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s immature of him to get offended by it. I’ve had my wife (and other women in the past) laugh at things during sex. It was funny to me that she was laughing that hard… But after it settled down, I tore that ass up. He needs to chill
omega_constant: This is why I have never really been able to dirty talk during sex. I (M) could never keep a straight face saying, “you’re daddy’s little whore” and I can only imagine how much harder it must be on the other end of that. Even your post made me lol! Keep your sense of humor and kick him to the curb.
thawfose: Not at all. He sounds really silly, to be honest. Like, yeah if I said something like that to my fwb without mentioning it was a kink beforehand and she laughed at it, yeah I’d feel embarrassed and giggle and say something like “too much?” (sex would probably end there for about 10 minutes) but I wouldn’t get moody, leave, and make it a big deal. He’s definitely overreacting.
lorett13: I can see how it hurt his feelings even though you meant no harm by it. A face to face apology would be helpful compared to a text, it’s hard to convey how apologetic you are for the reaction.
Edit: I see it’s a friends with benefits deal so no need to worry.
Evil_Pincone: I would have laughed at him too and then told him to pack his things and leave.
howbouthatt: You’ve done more than enough. The ball is in his court. I’d have cracked up too.
akinkythrowaway32: No it wasn’t that out of line. If he’s that intimidated by a girl laughing at something he’s doing in bed, he’s kinda fragile. I’d be kinda “WTF” if a random FwB said that and had never said that before.
I remember a FwB moving on the bed when we were all hot and heavy, his dick was hard and we were just in the middle of having sex…and then he farted LOLOLOL it was like the loudest fart in the history of the world LOL I just about fell down I was giggling and laughing so hard. We both kept giggling and laughing the rest of the time and while yeah we had to take a break because we were both laughing (and the smell LOL) we still maintained FwB until he got into a serious relationship.
cur2018: I can understand sex would have been done at that point because of the laughing but those are some of the best experiences. He should have laughed, too. Spoil sport lol.
chipperfan: I would have laughed my ass right off my body, and I do whenever someone says something like that to me. If you can’t laugh during sex, you shouldn’t be having sex with that person. He honestly needs to get over himself if he feels disrespected. Puh leaze.
thr0wawayeeeee: he shouldn’t have been butt-hurt lol
I saw extra / awkward shit sometimes and get weird responses, but I just act like it never happened loll
but I bet ur buddy left and went to another chick’s house lolol
jst4hottstufnow: I gotta say, there be some fragile egos out here in the world of r/sex. Sorry your FWB is one of them. I don’t think you disrespected him.
Coidzor: >Was my reaction really *that* out of line?
Laughing at your partner and finding them ridiculous is pretty bad.
But then so is springing something out of left field and then severing contact completely even after getting an apology.
In short, neither of you is blameless here.
> I told him I couldn’t control my reaction
This is just simply not true, though, and may be part of what’s caused the prolonged irritation.
rookieriter: Yes. You don’t laugh at a partner who’s been brave enough and vulnerable enough to be real with you. I’d walk if I were him.
BigDickExpress88: If youre fwb there shouldn’t be emotions involved. He feeling some type of way when clearly he shouldn’t care. Ya’ll just there to bust nuts and act like you got something in common lol.