Diving into sexuality too quickly
I (21 F) lost my virginity two nights ago to a guy I had met only once before. It was incredible, he was very experienced and ate me out, made me cum, and took his time touching the right places before PIV. Once we did have sex, I didn’t have any pain at all and it actually felt quite good, so I asked him to go harder and faster. He did and also explored things like choking me (safely, thank god), slapping me, and holding me down. I hadn’t previously thought of these things being hot before, and actually as a turn off, but that night I’d never been more turned on and found myself craving for him to be MORE aggressive.
We eventually decided to do anal after him warming me up to it over the course of the night. It was always an interest to me but I never thought I would have it the same night I lost my virginity. The morning after he left I was soooo impressed and now I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want to be dominated and used.
I feel like I am getting into things I never knew I had interest in too quickly to be normal. I’m fairly well versed in safe and consensual bdsm out of curiosity in the past, but never pictured myself as that type of person. Am I going to fast in exploring my sexual horizons or am I just finding new parts of myself that I just didn’t know were there?
JohnnySoHigh: Wow, you packed a lot into your first time.
Blue_Bird27: If you’re enjoying yourself, are comfortable, and are being and feeling safe throughout sex, everything you’re doing is not just fine – it’s fantastic!
Some people take time to warm up to sex and develop a sense of what they like – to adjust and learn, and so on – but you’re obviously confident and comfortable about trying new things. If anything, I’d say this means you’re really in tune with yourself, your sexuality and your confidence. Good on you!
Edit: also, given that you’re older and probably more mature for someone having sex for the first time, I’d say a faster pace would be pretty expected. Fewer teenage nerves/hormones/insecurities, and so on.
alphaoccident: Roll with it
crimsoniris: I more or less had the same experience with you. I had ons last year when i was 23 with an experienced guy too. Difference is we just did oral, he didn’t want to take my virginity, i wasn’t ready for it either. But before i met him the “lewdest” thing i did was just kissing despite being in a relationship for 6 years, not even making out, so it’s going from 3 to 90 quickly.
I think as long as you’re comfortable with what you’re doing it’s fine. Especially that you have a compatible partner. Reading stuff in here makes me realize how lucky i was to have a great guy as my first sexual partner.
theresamoonoutthere: Did he know you were a virgin?
eversnowe: Sometimes I don’t think that there’s such a thing as “too quick”. That implies that there has to be a normal standard. “You should wait x amount of time before doing y, a amount of time before doing b or else you’re something abnormal.” When it comes to sex, everybody is different – e v e r y b o d y. You can’t make a normal that applies to us all. Don’t pressure yourself either way, enjoy what’s good. Figure out what you don’t like (if anything at all) and clearly communicate it.