My (19F) boyfriend (24M) is into age play, is this healthy?
My boyfriend admitted to me a few weeks ago that he was interested in “age play” which I came to realize is really big in the kink community. For example, a lot of women will take on a “little” age where they pretend to be like a 5 year old or something. This kind of weirds me out but everyone is technically consenting adults.
He said it would be exciting to him if during role play/sex, I pretended to be a 13-year-old girl which really threw me off but I didn’t want to sound judgmental so I said I’d try it. The actual thought of sex between a girl that age and an adult makes me nauseous but when I actually got into character and tried it I was incredibly turned on. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t that long ago that I was that age and can pretty much put myself back in that mind frame where sexual feelings are new and stuff but I also feel really weird/conflicted going along with it bc that type of abuse is so wrong irl. We’ve tried this several times and every time he chooses my age between 13-15 and usually it’s a student/teacher or rebellious teen/stepdad kind of scenario.
This also makes me somewhat worried that he’s actually attracted to girls in that age range and if so, is that ok and is this a healthy outlet for it? Ahh, sexuality is so confusing lol
Fey456: I would say this depends on context. Objectively, there is nothing wrong with age play, because as you said, its between two consenting adults. There is a decently large age gap in your relationship for your age range, so I’d say look at your relationship outside of the bedroom and check that the age play isnt bleeding into real life, and as long as its not, then go fuck the hell out of each other in whichever way you chose. Does your boyfriend ever look down on you for your inexperience, try to make decisions for you or pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with? If no, and if you feel like you’re in an equal partnership where your needs and safety, both mental and physical are heard and respected, then you’re good to go.
RyanZi18: It all deals with taboo and innocence. It’s a common kink, fetish even for some. It’s the taboo-ness that makes it excited. The fact that it’s wrong but right. It isn’t for everyone, and I’m not saying you do, but just make sure you don’t think of him as less of a person or bad in any way. Me and my girlfriend she play, she enjoys it. When she feels like she wants to involve some taboo ideas and to feel really submissive, she likes to pretend in her head that she’s 8, and I’m say 18-20, taking care of her. Usually it’s just my same age but sometimes she likes when I age play just for the sake of being involved.
2amfix: My partner and I are both 31. We are into age play. My little age is about 12. Does that make him a pedophile? Nope. He is definitely not physically attracted to children. He likes my adult body. We’re also into pet play. Does that mean he’s sexually attracted to animals? Nope. He just likes treating me this way, and I enjoy it too.
Imreallyhard5811: His is a popular fetish
varunax9: I’m just going to be frank. I think a *lot* of guys are at a really base, primal level unconsciously turned on by teens in that range but are moral, civilized and mature enough not to ever act on it. However, sexual attraction is more than just base impulses, it’s also attraction to other qualities like personality and level maturity and girls in that range are obnoxious (so are boys). With that said, if you look at the top category on pornhub (teens) it’s full of role play like “babysitter sucks dick”, “cheerleader gets fucked”, etc. Its no secret that the dark, socially unacceptable part of some mens libido lusts over jailbait and its a good thing there’s fantasy and (legal) porn as an outlet for it so it remains just that…a fantasy
snooju: I think it’s important to listen to him. Try your best not to shame him. You do not have to partake, if this is a deal breaker, leave sooner than later. I think something to keep in mind is that he’s comfortable enough to be expressing his kinks to you, also be aware that he’s dating you and not a 13 year old and I’m sure he’s aware this is taboo as well.
nigella1986: Do you guys that answered this not think he’s more susceptible to see an under age girl out on the street and find her attractive tho. I know it’s popular but how far will it go?
lostchapters1: Thank you for posting this it helped me to know myself better.
Jack1715: This always confused me like for me it was more like being a kid with a adult women was kind of a fantasy and i thought it was kind of fucked they only thing i could think of was as a kid i would of liked that to happen
PervOtaku: Here’s some terms to look up:
ABDL (Adult Baby / Diaper Lover)
DDLG (Daddy Dom / Little Girl)
Not into these myself, but I think one of the main draws is the nurturing element, as opposed to the abuse or humiliation elements that are strong in other forms of BDSM and roleplay.
getfarawayfromme: I’ll kink shame anyone pretending to f a child.
buckeye112: 12-14 is the cutoff. No fucking joke. People who are sexually aroused by the idea of sex with a 5 year old have actual mental issues (sorry, it’s true). At least at the early teens there is a evolutionary argument to be made that males have evolved to be sexually attracted to females of reproductive age.