How I broke my very tough hymen
This is not advice, this is just sharing my personal experience. Please don’t do anything you are not comfortable with, seek medical advice, and if the doctors dismiss you but you believe you have a problem, don’t give up and try a different doctor!!
It was hard for me to find a solution for my problem online so I just wanted to post about my experience for those who might have similar trouble.
For tldr; skip to the next paragraph.
I’m in my late twenties, and until a couple of weeks ago I was unable to have penetrative sex with my very loving and patient boyfriend of 4 years. I couldn’t use tampons, or have a pelvic exam. Anything bigger than a q-tip caused incredible pain, it felt like burning. We had been trying to have penetrative sex for over a year, I went to different gynaecologists, which basically are all 3 available gynaecologists in my little town. The first two were men, who totally dismissed my pain, telling me there was nothing wrong and it doesn’t!! hurt (not even it shouldn’t hurt). The third doctor, a woman, believed me at least when I said it was hurting, and she put Emla (numbing cream) before examining me. She verified that I don’t have vaginismus, that my hymen is very tough, and that hymenectomy might solve the pain issue, but she didn’t recommend it since it’s very expensive. She told me to use the cream and try to stretch it first with fingers or vaginal dilators, then if all fails do the hymenectomy.
I didn’t want to buy an expensive set of vaginal dilators. And I wanted to be in control of the size of the things going in. So using an off brand numbing cream, I managed to insert a tampon applicator. I used the techniques I read online about vaginal dilators and did that with the plastic applicator. It was basically moving it in circles, pushing downwards, pushing in and out. I wasn’t actually on my period, but I bled a little, from stretching the hymen maybe, but didn’t feel pain because of the numbing cream. The cream actually burns a little, and it should not be used a lot, since using it in the vagina is supposed to be under medical supervision.
The next size was the back of a tooth brush with a condom on. Also using the numbing cream only the first time, and the times afterwards it was painless. Next size, a small sized hair brush handle, also with a condom. Finally the last thing I tried was a vibrator. I moved up a size almost every month or so, using numbing cream for the first couple of times, before they went in painlessly. And finally after a total of 5 months, I had penetrative sex with my boyfriend, using also the cream. We went really slowly and gently. It was painless during but it mildly hurt a couple of hours afterwards and I bled for a few days. The pain was really mild though, it was like skin stretching.
So this was my experience that I wanted to share that maybe someone would find useful. But I definitely don’t recommend just using some numbing cream without consulting a doctor first.
jabs0495: No offense, but I am shocked that a medical professional would not recommend a medical grade dilator kit. I would be very skeptical of your doctor, honestly.
Dilators aren’t JUST for vaginismus. You have/had a form of dysfunction due to your hymen. There are numerous kits with various sizes, with clear instruction on how to use them, with lube and numbing cream. There are MD’s who specialize in sexual dysfunction, which could have helped you. Instead of placing inanimate objects in your vagina with a condom. You could have really injured yourself.
I’m glad you have overcome this, but I hope women don’t take this advice.
bananaslammock08: I’m glad you found a solution, but honestly this doesn’t sound safe. You shouldn’t be putting those things inside of you. Plus using a numbing cream isn’t great because you can’t feel if you actually really injure yourself. I had a hymenectomy at 18 due to a misformed and very thick hymen and insurance covered the procedure. It was no big deal and I was back at work the next day. I feel like dilators and/or a hymenectomy were recommended by your doc for a reason – they are the most medically advisable steps to take!
SpaceGhost777666: Sad to say not every one in this world has insurance to cover them. Sad yes but also true.
That being said it sounds as though she took precautions. Next time rather then a hair brush think about using a cigar tube holder smaller then brush handle bigger then a tooth brush.
Killerchark: I’m glad it worked for you, but this is a bad example to follow for anyone with vaginismus. You shouldn’t be putting toothbrushes and hairbrushes up your vagina, even with a condom on. Dilator kits exist for a reason. They are meant to gently stretch you without doing any harm to your body.
Megaanonxx: I would also recommend using some pure vitamin e oil down there. Not inserting, but just around the area. It helps with elasticity and flexibility. I didn’t have a super rough hymen, but I do have delicate skin down there that’ll rip or tear easily through PIV. I’d bleed for a couple days after as well. Doing this 2x a day helped me a lot!
neuenono: I was with a partner who had a very tight and very strong hymen – much like your situation, OP. I was her first… or her attempt at first. We tried to have sex to break it – that didn’t work at all. Her gyno gave her some topical lidocaine and suggested she try dilating using smooth/tapered objects. Basically, any hard/tapered dildo could be used for this. Dilation (gradual stretching) didn’t work at all. After lots of frustrating failed attempts, she decided that she wanted me to give the dildo a good shove, to break the hymen and essentially “pull off the band-aid”. We did this one night when she was a bit drunk and it worked well enough. Not a ton of blood, not much pain during or after. I don’t think she regretted this approach.
A lot of the responses you’re getting say “use dilators”, but I don’t think that’s a great approach because the hymen isn’t meant to stretch – it’s meant to break. It sounds like you were making small tears in your hymen, gradually opening it up. I guess you could’ve used dilators for that, but sex toys can work, too. That’s a totally reasonable approach. Glad you worked through it.
dubufeetfak: thats interesting
now that the worst is gone, have fun 🙂
temporarydancer: This is really interesting, how often did you use the dilators?