[LADIES] – Too unfit to for woman on top / cowgirl? Advice?
All my partners have asked me to go on top and usually they just end up flipping me over in frustration – it’s not the rhythm or the angle or the problem, and I don’t really care about getting off myself, I just really want to a) please my partner, and b) pull my weight.
I just have no idea how to move my hips. I wouldn’t say I’m unfit per se, I’m jog a lot but I definitely don’t work out super often (18F, 5’3, 120 lbs) and I don’t have any abdominal muscles, which seems to be the problem. I’m not a good dancer so I can’t pull off any of these gyrating, belly-dancing moves. I’ve seen porn and all the movements seem to require absolutely killer abs to isolate your hips and roll them around like that. I’ve tried practising and I just don’t have the equipment.
Basically, I need advice – ab-less, lazy girl’s guide to being on top. e.g. I’ve heard guiding his hands to your hips is a good one?
linny88: Hi! F here, about the same size.
I find that when I’m on top, I get tired quickly and put too much strain on myself if I’m sitting straight up. I also am not the most graceful or agile when it comes to the sexy hip movements, etc.
So what do I do? On top, facing my guy, I lean over like I’m going to be whispering in his ear. I then use my thighs and butt muscles to (for a lack of a better work) twerk on his dick – I can move fast and slow.
In actuality, i can whisper in his ear, and the sound of my breathing/light moans drives him wild.
SquishyButStrong: Use your thighs instead of abs.
Brace your hands on the wall (or his chest or hands) and go up and down. This might be easier when squatting rather than straddling. Maybe put music on in the background for rhythm?
Unless he’s very lazy, he’ll probably be moving below you. Let him guide you.
KingScooby666: My girlfriend sucked at first and I’d flip her over. I didn’t really care I thought she was cute af ontop though but she’s gotten a lot better and i cum occasionally from it. Still I like to be in control though most of the time so I typically just want to pick her up and get ontop no matter what tbh. Practice makes perfect
solidad: My SO has always been a bit embarrassed about her skills. It took practice and patience. A couple bits of advice:
* Let the guy guide you like a dance partner. His hands on your hips and when you feel a motion (lift up or pull down) move up or down accordingly. Let him dictate rhythm.
* Pillows under your shins. This may change how you bounce and allow you to more easily control things. And the angle (leaning forward and back) will change as well.
* Stand over him and squat down. This allows for easier up down movement but may be more tiring or uncomfortable.
Being on top does NOT require abs at all.
MissQuickening: When he’s really really into it, I can lay down chest-to-chest on my bf and he’ll grab my hips or thighs or wrap his arms around me and completely take control… all I have to do at that point is ensure my knees/shins/feet are elevated enough not to drag on the bed. Feels pretty awesome although I much prefer to do the work.
Also just keep practicing. Not only will you gain strength and stamina–my butt has been getting way cuter/perkier the more I work my on top muscles! Win win.
I learned my skills/honed my muscles from horse back riding and belly dancing lessons which are both super fun if you have any interest (I bet YouTube has a million beginner videos for belly dancing). Hula hooping has been mentioned already and is certainly a cheap way to build those skills, but frankly I’m just not that into it and I’m not that coordinated. Sex (and belly dancing and horse back riding) is less demanding of perfect rhythmic gyration.
Orangecabbage: It shouldn’t be that difficult if the dude is moving along with you. If he’s just laying back and having you do all the work, then that’ll take its toll on you. I always move in a good rhythm with my girl, and she can stay on top forever it seems. We usually switch positions because I’ll cum way too quickly if she stays on top for more than like 5 minutes.
srsfam: I’m exactly the same height and weight as you with no abdo muscles either. Do you know how to hula hoop bc I feel liek that ould help you practice isolating your hips.
After you’ve got that down just practice moving your hips in a circle intially like making a circle with your hips and then when you’ve got that down attempt a snake like motion with your body/body roll.
thishumanis: Being on top gives me a good abs work out.
Take it at ur own pace, practice and change how u want to be positioned, start on your feet and hold his hands for leverage, bounce up and down, move onto your knees, and keep bouncing up and down, you can then lean back and put ùr hands and weight on his legs, move up and down, or lean forward, lean on his chest, or hands either side, lean in even closer and kiss his mouth, neck and or ear. Keep moving your hips up and down, go as fast as you can then slow it down, try gyrating forward and backwards and see how u get on with that, also try as though u have a hoola hoop, change it all up.
You could also face his feet, lean forward and bounce up n down and let him see/play with your ass.
It’s all in practice. Each guy will like different ways for a girl on top, just experiment with your guy, and find what u both like.
Most of all.
Have fun!! 🙂
adenn88: Hey! I’m about the same size too, not super in shape but I found it so much easier by doing this:
1. Straddle him with you facing him.
2. Put the tops of your feet on the top part of his thighs so they’re kind of tucked under you
3. Rest your hands on his chest/sides for more support
4. Put his hands on your hips
Good luck girl
Tamazin_: I dont get that much pleasure of a girl sitting ontop and moving semi-up/down or semi-front/back, when she has her knees and legs on the bed/whatever.
If she on the otherhabd stand on her feet and squat over me, that up/down motion is nice! I bet its a killer for the legmuscles though.
sex_monkey: Why not tell him to grab your butt and thrust up from below? I (M) love doing this. (Unless, of course, he only wants you on top because he’s lazy and doesn’t want to do anything strenuous…)
WayneCider: I’ve found that if I can bottom out inside her vagina, she doesn’t have to move very much at all to create a very intense rub at the head of my cock. Just sit upright and slowly grind back and forth or circular. If you can feel him pressing deep against the back of you’re vagina, fixate on that sensation and try manipulating it.
TinyCynner: I’m 5’2″, 126.6 lbs and have been on top even when I was much heavier. I just get down propped on my hands, and then I slide myself up and down over my BF’s penis. No fancy hip movements, just simply sliding along the angle of his dick. It’s mostly my thighs that do the work, arms for support. Sometimes he’ll wrap his arms around me, pull up his knees under my butt, and thrust into me as I’m moving on top.
I don’t do sitting upright. I can’t really feel anything and it’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t really like it either. It’s so easy to get out of rhythm, and he used to slip out a bunch. But when I’m leaning forward (or making out with him, or lying down and nibbling his ear) we both have a lot of fun.
ihatefreud: Isolating the movement of your hips doesn’t really require core strength. I think it’s more of a mental thing.
The story: My sister is married to a guy who’s family is from the Middle East, and it’s really common at family gatherings for the women to close off a portion of the house and all dance together. When we started getting invited, it was super fun for me and utterly humiliating for my very shy sister, who had no idea how to move her hips separately from the rest of her torso. It’s taken a LONG time but she’s gotten way better at it with practice. I really don’t have a strong core but I can isolate my hip motion, and I think it’s just because I danced from 6 to 16 and just have more than average awareness of the different parts of my torso.
All to say, you can learn! Try watching videos about how to dance, how to belly dance, doing yoga (lots of hip stretching and making sure your hips are level, good way to become aware of your body in general), how to twerk, Zumba… All of those activities will help you learn how to move your hips.