How do I start a sex dialogue?
A little context: So my girlfriend and I have been making out for a while now and she has been ready for sex for quite sometime while I am just now comfortable fingering her. The issue is that I am unable to get her to climax and I have read up about how to, and I am trying my best to do all the things that the websites suggest but she doesn’t ever tell me how I can improve even when I out right ask her. So if anyone has any advice on getting the conversation rolling that would be much appreciated.
Side note: It seems to be going well until she starts thrusting does someone have advice for when it gets to there. (We seem to fall out of synch.)
enjoyoutdoors: You know what? I think the explanation here is that she has no damn clue herself how to do it.
You can’t advice someone if they are already better at it than you are yourself.
Throwawaythekey0: You’re gonna need some muscle, breh
GoStars817: Are you stimulating her clit while fingering her?
Every woman is different, but clitoral stimulation is almost always necessary in some fashion.
Some women can just have you bump it with your thumb, others need you to massage it softly, while others like you to get a bit rough and fast. Just depends on the girl.
kittyfiasco: You need to work on the whole thing, without finger insertion, and kind of explore and play with your hands down there, until she can’t not have you deeper and pushes your arm further towards her vagina. You did mention that you have trouble getting her to climax, when the trouble behind that may be that you’re focusing on achieving that so much that you’re trying to bypass all the teasing required to make her crazy. You mentioned that you’ve been reading on websites, and I’m not sure if this is included with that, but it would be helpful for you to know the full, in depth anatomy of the vulva, because there is a lot more to it that can give her different sensations and give her a more full experience than one or two go-to spots that are being prodded possibly to the point of irritation. Consider your fingers on an exploration–searching a coastline to draw a map (a little out there, but stay with me!).
A gentle, pressure free option to get more feedback may be to tell her to say yes/no if something is or isn’t working for her. Also more/less, faster/slower. Young women tend to be submissive and have a hard time speaking up, but offering these simple things for her to indicate without giving direction might make her feel more comfortable to open up a little as to what is working, without worrying about hurting your feelings.