Question for men…. I really would like one man to take the actual time and describe to me the difference in how anal and vaginal sex feels and why is it more and more men these days prefer anal? Details please!
_trinidad_: Vaginal is a sensation of tightness across the entire penis, whereas anal is more of a single ring feeling because the sphincter is the tightest point. For me anal feels a little tighter so there’s more friction. In addition, there’s no natural lube so that increases friction slightly.
It seems to be more the taboo feeling than anything else for most guys. It’s not more enjoyable for me and most of my friends don’t feel like it’s more enjoyable either. It’s just something that’s different and treated in common culture as taboo, which makes it more interesting
edubkendo: For me, I actually think in terms of physical sensations, that the vagina feels better than the anus. The vagina has more texture, its wetter, in general it feels better.
My love of anal is purely psychological. First, I’m an ass man, so, and when I see that asshole, I just want to put my dick in it. Second, there is the taboo aspect. Playing with the ass feels dirty and naughty and that is a huge turn on. Third, the reactions of the women I’ve done anal with usually indicate that the sensations of pleasure for them are extremely intense. This is probably the biggest thing for me. If it was, instead, causing my partner severe discomfort and pain I wouldn’t want to do it.
Also, I’d never say I “prefer” anal to vaginal. For me, assplay is one more thing I like to incorporate in my sexual toolkit, so to speak. Just one more way to give and receive pleasure from each other.
DreamingMerc: You’re looking at very different sensations across the penis;
Vaginal is a wet and smooth feeling. Multiple ridges and muscles along the vaginal canal. When in strokes, it feels like a series of tight waves make slick by lube or the girl being wet etc.
Anal is a tight push feeling. There is one 1/4″ point of a very tight muscle (much tighter than a vagina), it grips you hard and steady until you pass through into the rest of the space in the colon. When in strokes, it feels like a firm solid grip on the penis that only let’s up when you sink all the way in. With very little lubricant, the feeling is often very texture driven as well.
As for why guys want the latter, or spout off so in the interim. Mostly because of the taboo status, most guys and girls will have some form of sex or oral sex. So to make it extra dirty, and therefore be of a “higher status” to have gotten it, butt stuff is the buzz word. It’s stupidly fucked up and can ruin a whole angle on sex if a guy pushes a girl too hard or won’t take their time with the process. Ruins it for both sexes in the long run.
solidad: Long-ish post.
As someone who has a partner that actually likes anal performed on her I can say that there is a difference for (M)e but it’s not nearly as unique as it may sound. It’s tighter in general then a vagina and the position is different (have to be a little higher or angle higher for me to get it in for instance). And depending on position we can also do multiple stimulus (anal / vaginal). It does “feel” different too since the texture is not like a vagina but I think in the moment (unless you have a partner with an extremely texture vagina or really sensitive penis) It’s not a huge reason to desire it over vaginal (my opinion).
I think the real reason for anal becoming more desired is a bit more complicated and varied, which I’ll talk about below:
For many it’s more of a divide between the feeling (anal “feels” tighter due it’s design) and the taboo and uniqueness of it. It’s also just a raw difference that not every woman likes / wants it, so it feels like it would be more special. I have a feeling you can thank the abundance of porn (both in just raw amount and how many ways you can consume it) for an overall increase in it’s interest.
And even things like the internet itself can feed that interest because guys / gals can look at all of these toys whereas in the past there wren’t so many options available (and porn itself was viewed as dirty whereas it’s not as much). Add to that the abundance of education (like this sub) and you can see why there would at least be more interest.
cj-88: Anal is one of my favorite things in the world, but with that being said, I don’t necessarily prefer is to vaginal sex. I don’t like chosing one over the other, I like to incorporate it into everyday sex. There is a huge difference in the feeling though. Besides the obvious of the butt being extremely tight, it’s almost like a sucking feeling once the penis a few inches in. So it’s like getting a blowjob at the same time that you’re having sex, if that makes any sense lol. Just be clean, relax, use tons of silicone based lube, and go very slow until you are comfortable with the feeling. Always communicate how you’re feeling with your partner, it can be just as pleasurable for you as it is for your partner. If it hurts, stop right away because it’s never suppose to hurt, never “grin and bear it”, just re-lube and restart. I hope this helps, good luck!
brytlites: It’s not a preference for it INSTEAD of vaginal, it’s just something to throw in every now and then. Why? Because my girl has a beautiful ass. I’m obsessed with it, and to get to fuck it every now and then is a huge turn on. Nothing could replace vaginal sex. Anal is just about occasional variety, and it’s status as being “taboo” makes doing it occasionally really hot.
rad_woman: lube launcher is a game changer. seriously. look it up.
likedudejustno: I needed to hear this. Thank you so much. I’m due for a doctors visit soon and will bring it up. If you don’t mind me asking did she have any pain actually going to the bathroom or was it just anal sex?
Nolon: I prefer vagina. Anal feels different but not in a good vaginal way. Just different. I can’t explain it more than vagina feels really good wrapped around my dick and anal well it’s ok if that’s what she’s into maybe
likedudejustno: He absolutely prefers it. Basically to the point that I have been told if he doesn’t get his, I don’t get to have mine. I guess that is what hurts and sucks about the whole situation. I feel like he almost doesn’t derive any pleasure from vaginal sex at all. I mean he cums so I guess that isn’t true. But it is how I’m starting to feel mentally.
likedudejustno: I like that idea. Don’t get me wrong I do like to mix some pain and pleasure, this kind of pain is a show stopper though. I have researched. I have tried toys and several types of lube. Several different positions. It all still hurts.
literanch: largely, its more about it being different than feeling better.
perfectionisajourney: Just writing from my own perspective but anal feels tighter, almost suction-like. Initial penetration is also much more exciting as passing the outer sphincter is more intense than inserting into a vagina. Friction is also “adjustable” with anal depending on the quantity and type of lubrication whereas with vaginal, it’s dictated by vaginal lubrication (assuming additional is not needed). Plus there’s the social taboo. Anal isn’t quite mainstream but it’s made great strides in that regard in the last couple decades which adds some mental stimulation too.
MtStarjump: I’m a normal red blooded male. I couldn’t be more put off by anal. It’s so pointless, uncomfortable, well just not a nice experience compared to how lush, embracing and connecting a pussy is. I think more men are turned on by the taboo because they’ve been porn conditioned.
nshelton5683: It’s hard to explain. Vaginal feels like a warm wet hug thats tight all the way through. Anal feels tight round one area then it opens up into warm velvet. Nothing grips the head of a dick like an ass. I will say this; Vaginal feels physically better to me, BUT anal plays on more than just feeling. It’s a major kink of mine so it also plays on my mind a lot. Because of this, I cum harder…a lot harder than I do with vaginal.
breachofcontract: I thought the trends was becoming less and less popular for the preferred penetration option.
As a guy, if I had to pick one, I’m picking vagina every time. And I’ve had good anal sex plenty of times.
likedudejustno: I mean out of this world selfish. I always thought I was kind of selfish until I met this dude. I realize I’m a fucking saint compared to him as far as compromise goes.
Drop_: Vaginal has more “pressure,” if I go as deep as I can I can feel that I’m pushing against something with the tip of my penis. There are things in the vagina that stimulate different parts, even deep inside where there’s more space. Not sure what they are. Maybe cervix rubbing the side, maybe parts of the vaginal wall, whatever. Because of this I find vaginal sex WAY more peasurable because it has more stimulation and pressure for me.
Anal sex feels like one fairly tight ring or tube, maybe 1 or 2 inches of tightness, then no real resistance. Anal will kind of feel like it’s sucking you in, even past that initial tightness, which is good. I think this is a physiological response of the body that uses the internal muscles to move stool. But for me, the pressure isn’t there as much, particularly for the glans, so Anal physically feels less stimulating because of that.
However it’s psychologically stimulating because it’s “dirty” and because it’s a different type of pleasure for my partner. I know it feels good to her, and I want her to experience that so it makes me want to do it.
likedudejustno: I have tried graduated plugs, I personally can get them in with no real pain. He can’t seem to work them in. As far as fingers go he mostly uses his thumb, I don’t think he has tried more than one finger.
likedudejustno: I would tell them to get out. Very honestly. I feel like he has some issues for sure but nobody has ever taken the time to even try and help him with his issues. He has made some strides in the right direction. We just have a long way to go.
likedudejustno: His dad raised him the opposite. To always be rigid and never show emotion. So there is that wall to work on first. I think there are some things he isn’t comfortable admitting about himself. I do think he is bi-curious but way too afraid of what people would say if they knew.
MrsSept4: Being relaxed, comfortable, totally into the mood, and trusting are what make it an enjoyable experience for me. There is a product called Booty Ease by Pure Romance that really helps too!
DarthFishy: What the other guys said, more friction=more sensation, and if you’re in a commited relationship, it allows you to cum inside with no risk of pregnancy. Another factor, at least for me, is I’m a bigger guy with pretty average junk. I’m bigger tho so my fat can get in the way somewhat. The girls I’m normally with are bigger too, so positions like doggy are almost impossible piv, but anally, works like a charm.
likedudejustno: Interesting. He is a skinny dude with average equipment, I’m a soulless ginger with wide hips, ass, and thighs.
Massgyo: One is way more “normal” for heterosexual couples so it’s awesome when someone either wants something different and/or wants to let you have something different.
HappySubbie: Not a man, but my boyfriend doesn’t really “prefer” anal. To him, it’s just another way to play with my body. The more ways to achieve sexual pleasure the merrier! I imagine many men feel similar.
Sauceboss_Senpai: It’s been said multiple times in here so it doesn’t need repeating, but I’m with the general majority that the only REAL difference is that it’s initially tighter. The vagina is overall a better experience if we’re honest, but one of them holds the added enjoyment of “taboo” while the other is literally the norm. If we’re comparing it to positions, the vagina is missionary. It’s how you start, it’s how you finish, it’s probably the position you’ll be in the MOST in your sexual encounters. It’s tried, it’s true, and it’s both of these things because it feels good 9/10 times.
For me the thing that appeals to me about Anal is, like with most people here, entirely mental. I’m an ass-man 100 percent, so for me it’s one of those “I want to do everything to this body part that turns me on, and one of those things is fuck it.” Also in my experience (admittedly only two different people) the sensations of assplay often change or trigger something naughtier in women. I’m not super nuts about dirty talk it’s take it or leave it for me, but the only times I’ve really heard it is in drunk anal adventures. For whatever reason, a tongue or a finger on a butt gets the naughty going, add a dick and you get a different set of moans from the receiving party. For me that’s the appeal, beyond the ass in general thing.
If I honestly gave it a ranking it’d be like
Really slow massage (high amounts of oil or lube and time) handjob
Plain Jane handjob to get the job done
It doesn’t rank real high, but it’s easily the “hottest” adventure of the lot, and typically it comes with a night of sex too so it’s really win-win in just about every way except for feeling “amazing”
Luxbu: For me, it’s two things.
1) I’m an assman. So the thought of “Oh my god, this is a lovely ass… *and I’m fucking it*” turns me on
2) It’s very tight, but not tight all over my penis. This helps with with longevity and making things last much longer.
Rosssauced: If you want to know the truth vaginal is way better all around but men like anal because we “aren’t allowed to do it.”
taconightatyourmums: > He has never touched my clit.
LiquidPhoenix: Personally, I am a giver first. I get pleasure out of pleasing my lady. At first, I had no interest in anal because I thought it was only pleasurable for the guy so I didn’t even care to try. Then I dated a girl who actually preferred anal because anal orgasms felt so much better and I fell in love with anal. I researched and learned more about it and now I prefer anal because it’s been the same with every woman I’ve been with since. The most recent girl I dated started out saying she wasn’t into butt stuff until I told her this. She let me teach her and practice with her and now she loves it too.
From my experience, I think the people who don’t like anal just haven’t done it right yet and it’s easy to understand why. Regular PIV is easy, it takes little effort, you just put the penis in and have fun. Anal is an entirely different game. It requires tons of lube, lots of preparation, certain angles, certain positions, etc. It takes quite a bit more effort. You can’t just decide you’re horny and start fucking, but the pay off of seeing her eyes roll back, hearing her scream in pleasure, watching her damn near have a seizure from her deep intense orgasm, leaving her literally unable to walk or talk afterwards because her brain and entire body is weak makes the extra effort 2,000,000% worth it! It leaves her as a shaking, babbling puddle of herself and I love it!
I highly, *highly* recommend learning how to do it right because that orgasm *has* to be amazing.
Isimagen: Please just dump the guy.
You’re not into it and have given it a chance. That’s more than you’re “required” to do to be honest. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to even try it if it’s not your thing. So you’ve done your duty so to speak.
What concerns me is that he’s pushed you beyond your comfort level. He’s apathetic about your pleasure in general. He won’t finger you or play with your clitoris. You state he finds it demeaning and gets turned on by that and more in your answers. (Btw, I STRONGLY disagree that most men find it demeaning to women and am unsure why you agreed with a comment about that.)
You two aren’t sexually compatible. There’s no shame in him like anal better. Lots of guys do. But there IS shame in him pressuring you and not compromising after you’ve expressed reservations.
He needs to move on to find a woman who is into the same things he is. You need to move on to find a man who is into the same things you are and respects you. Neither of you seem compatible to the other based on all your responses.
Anal is wonderful if you’re into it and have no physical issues for many. It isn’t for everyone. All the ignorance about poop and so on in comments just makes me roll my eyes though.
Please, respect yourself and find a man who respects you in the process! You deserve better.
Feyenooorth: Its all about the taboo
IronhideD: Honestly, it’s porn making anal so appealing. I’ve done it a few times with ex girlfriends but I’ve never particularly enjoyed it. Porn makes it seem like it’s better than regular sex.
gettingonit: Have never tried anal and here’s why:
To slide your dick into a hot wet vagina is the greatest feeling. The add on the gasp that the girl lets out when you first go in and you have a perfect situation
With anal once you go in the ass you can forget about more oral or PIV unless you stop and clean up first
Plus it may hurt her for a bit which sucks.
golfdude43: I am the minority here. I had anal sex with my first wife. She enjoyed it, I really did not care for it. Maybe since I have had anal sex it is not taboo for me. I would much rather put my dick in her mouth or pussy!
DogButtTouchinMyButt: I like vaginal way more. A girl I was dating over the summer offered her butt while she was on her period so I tried it. Couldn’t get past the smell of poo, I finished, but I didn’t enjoy it.
Gizmo-Duck: I’m a pretty kinky guy, but I have zero desire for anal.
MaximNIN: I do not like anal. I love girl’s asses, my favorite part of the female body. But I have no desire whatsoever to bang the ass. That’s where the poopie cones out.
Crashlands: I’ve never done anal. My girl wants to, but I have no interest in it at all. Vaginas are perfect. Anal is where poop comes from.
likedudejustno: Yes on the orgasm right before. The only time it was ever almost successful was right after a long session and he was too tired to move and I was able to work myself onto his cock slowly and gradually, he wanted to stop because he was tired and apparently didn’t have the energy to squirt more lube.
likedudejustno: Yes on the clit part but honestly I get too aroused and that causes me to tighten up.
likedudejustno: Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. I will check that out.
likedudejustno: Thank you for the spray idea, I haven’t tried that yet!
likedudejustno: Thank you
rustybuckets: I wouldn’t want anal every day, more of a treat. I do want regular sex every day though.
DRBhylian: The thought of anal always seemed more pleasing to me. Always been attracted to butts, which could have been a leading reason for me. From experience, it wasn’t very good (at least from my experience). Lube is a best friend and it’s okay to have more than enough lube…which was something I didn’t have.
But, in difference, vaginal felt better, personally. Both are fairly similar minus an anus having more friction and less mucous.
hoodmanhood: I’m a PIV guy since I just love seeing my SO in pleasure. To me, the vagina just feels better, both psychologically and physically. Psychologically, it’s much more intimate because I she and I can interact much more freely and communicate clearer than doing it anal. Physically, a vagina feels much warmer and … wetter. She has full control of how she can squeeze me while I’m in her pussy, and what I feel overall.
That’s not to say that anal is bad. I don’t do anal much because it requires a lot of preparation for us, especially her. However, in the occasions that we do, I absolutely love it. Sure it’s not as good physically, but I think this makes me last abit longer than PIV which my SO likes. Also, when I do anal, I have a different mindset. When in PIV, I mostly have this very intimate, loving and sometimes submissive attitude to love-making. But with anal, I have a more dominant, but equally loving mindset to fucking, and my SO expects that by being submissive. This is mainly because with PIV, we often use missionary or girl on top, but with anal, it’s usually doggy or with her on her stomach and me on top.
TL;DR: I love both, but there a differences to the mindset I adopt when doing one or the other.
Toolazy2work: Letterkenny does a great job of describing this!!
Garathon: It’s all mental. Fucking a girl up her ass requires her to trust you and submit to your desires. It’s more intimate than regular pussy.
BooMey: My new girlfriend let me try anal on her for the first time last night. It was my first time and honestly it wasn’t what everybody makes it out to be. I honestly prefer piv sex better. It literally couldn’t as the taboo factor and the trust between us that made it enjoyable.
ACortezWantsFun: Feels good when inside, but PIV is great too. Now if the girl is willing, her going in to a guy’s anus aiming to stimulate the prostate, its a double dip because the anular ring around the rectum coupled with the sensation of the right pressure on the prostate gland is excellent.
Had a girlfriend that enjoyed having toys in her anus while engaged in PIV and got off like crazy off that stimulation.
heWhoMostlyOnlyLurks: Vaginal is clearly better. No mess (except during menstruation, but whatever). Moar tight (yes, more). More responsive.
Anal is mostly only fun when the person receiving it enjoys it. There’s also the taboo aspect, and “maybe this time she’ll like it”. But mostly, anal is overrated. At least heterosexual anal sex.
mikeli72: No kids
lawm812: I’m not a dude but my husband has described the feeling the same as the top comment. Anal is tight in one spot whereas vaginal is more “consistent” if that makes sense.
He actually doesn’t love anal and has never been able to cum from it. He says vaginal feels waayyy better.
genericthrowaway028: I don’t think it’s that more men prefer anal – just that vaginas (the alternative) is almost a given in the relationship. Very rarely are girls unable or unwilling to have vaginal sex but anal sex is something that has to be asked for and is something many want to experience. How many guys ask “do you do vaginal?”
cryogen: Anal doesn’t do it for me. I prefer the sensation of vaginal. I guess for some men it feels better?
Towelie01: To the OP: GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP!!! This guy is a selfish creep who deserves to be alone!
getaway40: I think it’s the taboo of it. Gf and I did it and it was less than spectacular, lots of prep and cleanup. I know there’s a “right” way to do it. But that wasn’t the problem, it just wasn’t enjoyable for either party.
skycowboypilot: I honestly prefer vaginal sex.
Sabanade: Any girl who is willing to do butt stuff is a freak aka they’re fun in bed/a keeper. At least in my book
jimbo-slice93: Have you watched Mindhunter?
Ed Kemper gives a great description of it.
SPRUNTastic: As others have said, there’s a certain taboo about it still, but for me, anal is an entirely new sensation. It starts out a bit tight, but as you get into it, it relaxes more and loosens a bit. The pressure and sensations can be amazing as the muscles contract and loosen repeatedly. Some of the most intense orgasms I’ve had have been via anal.
As for how it differs from vaginal I couldn’t tell you, I don’t have a vagina.
irontoaster: I had a fetish for anal in porn for many years until I got the chance to give it a go. Couldn’t get the angles to work very well and despite many attempts with various stages of drunkenness and lube, it seemed to hurt my partner and do absolutely nothing for me.
BlessedBy_Error_: I’ve had both with my wife (she’s the only experience I had with anal, but still) Vaginal is nice, vaginal gets really wet and still feels very nice and tight. Anal needs external lubricant but has ‘rings’ inside that helps with pleasure, while the base is very, very tight. That might help a lot of men get off. Vaginal is still amazing, but anal is a ‘treat’, at least for this married man. Hope that helps.
Edit: damn autocorrect.
Dcm210: I don’t prefer anal. I don’t want poop on my dick.
manlymann: Cant make a 1 night stand preggo if you nut in her ass
Personauniqa: Anal gives you moral satisfaction of having something prohibited and dirty. Since old days there is a prejudice in many societies that anal sex is bad, dirty, sinful, blah-blah. This is why it is attractive these days…from the physical feel, anal is tighter and you can play with vagina using your fingers or toys.