How to spruce it up with FWB?
I’ve had a FWB (I’m F25, he’s M26) for the past 4 months. I mean FWB in a very literal way: we’re pretty good friends who also fuck a few times per week. No romantic or emotional strings attached, and overall it’s working really well for us.
Here’s my only hangup. He doesn’t get hard very often. Sometimes he does, and we do PIV, and that’s always great. But very frequently, he says he’s horny but he’s not hard (I understand that we judge men too much by whether they have boners, and that flaccid dicks can also feel pleasure).
He wants me to go down on him all the time. I don’t mind it, but lately I’ve been realizing that I get no joy out of sucking a soft dick for a large portion of my day, multiple times per week. I get excitement out of a guy being hard and cumming in my mouth–those are literally the reasons I like giving blowjobs. But even when he does get hard, he never cums during oral. And so I get bored, tired, and feel frustrated when he doesn’t get hard or close to cumming. When I stop, he often says “did I say you can stop?” and pushes me back–something that can be hot, but not every damn day for ever. I have repeatedly tried every trick I know to get him hard in my mouth, and they haven’t worked.
It’s not that he doesn’t reciprocate; he rarely goes down on me but he does finger me to orgasm almost every time we get naked. So I’m not bitter about that. I just need some suggestions on the blowjob thing, how to keep myself entertained or how can I add things to get him more into it? Has anyone else had a similar situation?
Altostratus: If your only reason for being in this relationship is the sex, and the sex isn’t good, what’s the point?
birchblonde: I could have written this.
OP can I suggest that you make your title more specific to the problem, and then maybe there will be more answers (for both of us!)?
It feels a bit like going down on a woman, right? Nothing wrong with that, but when I’m in bed with a guy, I kinda want there to be a hard cock somewhere in the equation.
getfarawayfromme: Def not gonna suck a soft dick constantly if I’m not even getting this pussy ate. Boy, bye
actuallytommyapollo: Try sticking a finger in his bootymouth.
But even as FWB, sex is an agreement of sorts, so you’ll need to confront him about it and ask why it’s tough for him to get a stiffy and that you’re really not about the chewier aspect of blowing him.
I also have never gotten off from oral before, dunno why. I have her stop and we’ll do other things, though, he should be a big enough man to push past it and focus on your pleasure also.
knowitallz: How is this worth it for you? If he is your friend he shouldn’t be such a selfish person. I would find a new FWB. Or tell him to go down on you or no more BJs
LithiumFlowerr: I don’t see the point of having a fwb that doesn’t get hard. It’d say it’d worth working on it if he were your bf but it’s not really worth it if it’s just a fwb. But it’s just my personnal opinion. Ofc to be sure, you could always try to find a kind way to ask him about it or try to see if he’s always been this way.
I don’t think there is anything you can do. It looks like he has a “problem”. Either physical or emotional.
Some people find it much more exciting to fuck sby no strings attached, and with those guys you don’t need to do anything special.
Some other people need emotional attachment to get hard. Maybe he’s one of those guys but if it’s the case, he shouldn’t be in a fwb kinda relationship.
Or maybe he jerks off too much? In this case again, you can’t do much.
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dope_star: If he’s only 26 and having problems with ED he needs to go see a doctor.
Lotusxtc: I’m a tad confused. I always associated a hard on as sexually ready? Does he just expect you to work a flaccid penis to oblivion? Because to me it’s like someone eating a vagina and only licking the left labia.
What does he expect the end result to be?
It sounds a tad one sided. I would just tell him sucking a faccid one isn’t exactly doing it for you…
CunningLiguist4U: WTF? I’m twice his age and get rock hard when a woman gets her mouth anywhere near my cock.
Sorry, OP, but the two of you do not sound sexually compatible. You should find a man who is. It’s fairly easy for a woman, I’m told.