Slowing down sex for a GF [27F] who loves to cut to the chase with me [29M]?
My girlfriend is the sort of person who wants to hop on my dick the moment she gets aroused. She gets pouty and frustrated when I delay or withhold penetration. This is even true when I rub or kiss her clit – she becomes desperate and will pull me up / climb on top. Now this isn’t a problem per say, but sometimes I think that if she waited a bit, and let me talk out a fantasy with her, or engage in some other kind of foreplay, she’d be more aroused and more like to orgasm. I have to admit that it turns me on too – I love fantasizing and talking out the details of a scenario, or just dirty talking in general. Do y’all have tips for discussing or approaching this sort of thing in the context of a relationship? Should I just communicate all of this with her?
Jgilbert17: Explain to her that it will enhance her experience and tell her you have an idea. Try a blindfold and tying her up, with her consent of course. Soft cuffs and a romantic setting or even rougher roleplay may be enough to bring her to appreciate it. A little orgasm denial can be quite amazing. Good luck
super_spill: Is she not orgasming regularly? As a female, I get annoyed with oral because it doesn’t make me orgasm (or really even feel that great), but penetration does. Ask her what makes her orgasm and have a discussion about how to make sex more enjoyable for both of you. She also might be rushing because she thinks you enjoy penetration, so explaining that you want more foreplay might help her get into it more.
wannagetbaked: Play the game of foreplay, first one to make another player escalate wins. Nobody loses.
littlebluelily: If you want to draw out the foreplay for yourself then obviously talk to her. But if it’s purely for her then maybe realise it’s not her thing?
I’ve grown more accustomed to foreplay in time but my absolutely favourite sex act has always been PIV so when I’m horny I often just want to get right to it!
Mellrish221: Honestly have her look up edging. Its great that shes very responsive and has the will/desire to chase her Big-O that hard. But as you’ve clearly seen, it can get a little dull at times. Especially if you’re the kinda guy that likes to invest in foreplay.
As for talking, just be plain and blunt. “Hey this is going great, but i REALLY wanna try this and that cause I think it’ll make the sex even better”. Or something along those lines, or better if ya got it!
I think she’s a good candidate for a yoni massage experience. The short and ugly is that you are massaging/fingering her while denying the orgasm as long as possible. It can get…. quite intense and emotional. But the few times i’ve done it, it’s VASTLY improved the quality of sex/communication/trust between me and the girl.
But thats down the road. Just bring it out into the open that you’re angry/hurt/unsatisfied. But would like to expand your horizons a little.
CraftyGrapefruit: Same problem here but roles reversed. I can come very easily so I like to drag it out a bit and have some teasing and foreplay while he prefers to just go for it. It causes some struggles between us lately
PayDayandLaid420: Hey everyone’s different bro. Not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe mix it up a bit more. Give her what she wants a few times, then slow it back down a bit. Nice variety.
My new gf is the same way. I’m used to women loving lots of foreplay and attention before intercourse (and feeling slightly used if it’s just sex). She on the other hand is more guy minded I guess and just wants straight sex. She enjoys the stuff but giving her the dick makes her cum the hardest and quickest.
But we talked about it and came up with a strategy. Cause I love foreplay, but def sex is best to me. But I always love pleasing my woman the most. But for her she doesn’t care as much (she still obviously wants to be warmed up, she just warms up a lot quicker than other girls). If she uses the “daddy” during conversation, at anytime before we start having sex that’s code for “I’m horny af, use me”. Love it.
knowitallz: Stick it in her right away. Go at it for a couple mins. Then pull out and go down on her for ten minutes. Do that again with other things. Fingering, hot dogging, etc
aftqueen: I did that when we werent in sync about foreplay. I rushed him into the act because I wasnt a fan of his style of foreplay, but I loved the sex part.
Communication did the trick, bring it up NOT in the heat of the moment and discuss your needs and ask her what she likes. We also did the MojoUpgrade quiz and that helped!
eyeap: My wife was the same way for 20 years. Try vigorous fingering as soon as she takes her pants off.
curiousquestioner16: I [f24] am the same way. I have never really liked foreplay…with anyone. It just doesnt do it for me. It’s almost awkward. I like giving but not receiving. Weird, I know. So, when my bf tries to finger/go down on me I pull him up after a few seconds. I think it can be discouraging for him because, like you said we could be having even better orgasms with foreplay or, he thinks hes not good at it. But really, it’s just me!
vermin062: …talk to her about it. She’s not a mind reader and we’re certainly not able to tell her.
sdtriv: I used to be like that! Haha. I changed and I don’t know exactly why. Now my favorite part is the build up.
Definitely being honest is the way to go.
Also maybe doing some of this build up out in public where she has to behave. A whisper and light touch over dinner. Just be ready for her to fuck you furiously the second you walk in the door. Relationships are all about compromise right?
-888-: I have an ex that was like this. She also disliked post sex cuddling, which was also surprising.
booboowho22: Any idea how many want your problem
GreaterHorniedApe: Get her a glass dildo so she can masturbate with it while you tell her all the dirty things you want.
monster_mentalissues: Try some handcuffs or rope tying.
Gigiinjo: What the fuck guys. A lot of you ask here on reddit if you need to communicate with partner.
Of course you need to god damnit? Some days yoll start questioning how do you breathe. Jeez