Maryna Linchuk (born September 4, 1987 in Minsk, Belarus) is a Belarusian fashion model best known for gracing the cover of Italian and Portuguese Vogue.
Kai Lansangan is a beautiful Asian Model from Las Vegas. She has been tearing it up on ModelMayhem.com.
Long term couples who still have regular and fun sex, what’s your secret?
As the title says, this is mainly for long term couples (5+ years), who still have regular and mutually enjoyable sex (twice a week or more). What are some of the main attributes of your relationship that you believe keeps the ‘fire burning’?
There are some things that supposed to have a big effect on sex lives, so i was also wondering whether these apply to you:
– Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?
– Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?
– Do you have kids?
– Are you married / live together?
– Are you or your partner on birth control?
– Have you ever had long periods without sex?
– Do you experiment in the bedroom?
– Do you split the chores/household duties?
– Have you both always had high libidos?
– Are you both confident with your bodies?
– Do you schedule sex?
Obviously, if there is anything else, please include them too.
Just wondering if dead bedrooms can be avoided, or whether loss of sex drive is just inevitable for certain people.
slvstrChung: * **Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?** Yes, about sex and about all other things… or, at least, as openly as we are able to. (Both of us still have hang-ups and insecurities. Those don’t magically disappear just because you find the right person.)
* **Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?** When we have time, which is not as often as I’d like. However, extenuating circumstances:
* **Do you have kids?** Yes. He’s 40 days and 52 minutes old, as of this writing. Because he’s so high-maintenance, things like “sex” and “cuddling in bed” or even “being asleep at the same time” need to take a backseat.
* **Are you married / live together?** Yes, for 21 months; yes, for 3 years and 10 months.
* **Are you or your partner on birth control?** No; we are still evaluating our options. Is it worth the trouble of birth control pills, which have an adverse effect on her health? Should I just go in for a vasectomy? It also doesn’t matter at the moment, because…
* **Have you ever had long periods without sex?** Yes: we are currently on approximately the 45th day of abstinence, since she is recovering from childbirth. Both of us are very eager to end the enforced celibacy, but that depends on her vagina more than anything else, and it moves at its own speed.
* **Do you experiment in the bedroom?** Not at this exact moment, but we’ve discussed some of the things we want to add to it once we have the option of doing so.
* **Do you split the chores/household duties?** Yes, though not always equally. For her to breastfeed our son, and then pump out what he didn’t get, is an investment of an hour or so; she spends between 6 and 8 hours *a day* just on this. While she’s thus occupied, I try to pick up the slack.
* **Have you both always had high libidos?** I don’t know. I haven’t really bothered comparing our habits to those of everyone else. I think we have average libidos, as we tended to get it on once or twice a week. We both would like more, but practicality gets in the way sometimes.
alittlebirdy1: – **What are some of the main attributes of your relationship that you believe keeps the ‘fire burning’?** Respect. Interest in one another. Refusal to let things go stale. Making it a point to set aside time for each other – i.e. date nights, etc. Seeking out the other person and spending time with them, even if it’s just to watch TV, every day.
– **Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?** Yes, but it has not always been that way. We’ve really pushed that in the past few years. My wife is from a very conservative background and still shares some of those views; talking about sex is embarrassing. I have discovered that email helps her to avoid some of that, and open up more.
– **Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?** Yes. We hug every day (don’t kiss as much as I’d like). I am constantly grabbing her butt in a playful manner, putting my hand on her knee when we sit beside each other, etc. We hold hands and so forth.
– **Do you have kids?** Yes. We have a textbook “large family”. The two oldest kids are college aged, and we just found out that we are somehow, some way, pregnant again.
– **Are you married / live together?** Married 23 years.
– **Are you or your partner on birth control?** No. She used to be. We have practiced the rhythm method for years. I am currently on TRT with a next to zero sperm count, she is breastfeeding… ergo the surprise at discovering we were pregnant.
– **Have you ever had long periods without sex?** No. We have had times when we didn’t have sex as often, but even after a baby was born, there was some sort of sexual contact always before the doctor cleared it. 🙂
– **Do you experiment in the bedroom?** Absolutely. I am the more adventurous one of the two, but she is game and will at least try almost anything. Today, we are easily the kinkiest w have ever been – and are kinkier by far than the average bear.
– **Do you split the chores/household duties?** Yes. She cooks most of the meals, though I typically do so once a week or so, and have certain special meals that I cook. I take out the trash, help with laundry and dishes… pots and pans are typically my job. I help pick up after the kids, etc.
– **Have you both always had high libidos?** My libido has always been sky high. Hers is not. Honestly, she would probably be fine with, say, twice a week (maybe once sometimes). And for a long time, 2-3 times per week was the compromise we lived with. A couple of years ago, she decided that this didn’t cut it, and since then, it has been almost every single day that we do something sexual (may be oral, hand, toy only, not always PIV), and most weekend nights, it’s 2-3 times.
I hope that helped you. if you have any questions, feel free to lay them on me.
punkrat82: Two passionate, fun people who truely love each other.
runner322: 31M & 31F Married almost 9 years, twice a week (except after a baby)
Communicate about sex?
Sure, we will talk about it in a text here or there, i communicate when I feel like I’m not getting it enough. I will tell her some of my sex dreams, she will tell me Hers sometimes. Don’t don’t really talk about what we want out of sex. We should probably do that more often.
Non sexual touch?
I try to give her a hug and kiss every day when I get home. We normally sit in different seats at home, but if we watch a movie we will sometimes curl up next to each other. We give each other regular hugs throughout the day and I will Pat her butt here and there. We cuddle a little bit before bed most nights.
She has a hard time getting pregnant so no, but in the past before we knew we had problems, yes. When we first got married she was in the pill, then after our first we went to condoms, now we don’t use anything.
I used to be a crappy husband when we first got married, so we would go a few weeks at a time without having sex sometimes cause she was mad at me. But never for more than a couple of weeks and not for at least the last 6 years.
Not really, she is really vanilla. We have the exact same routine until we are getting ready to finish, then we rotate from 3 different finishing options. I usually ask if we can be more experimental, to which she says yes at the time, but then when we go to do it, she renigs.
She stays at home and I work, so she does most of the house work. Cleaning, cooking, laundry ect. We rotate every other night with putting the kids to sleep, and we both pickup toys and stuff at the end of each day.
I am the high desire spouse. I would like to do it 3 times a week, she would be fine if we just did it every other week, so twice a week is our compromise.
Now as far as secrets go. Outside of communicating about sex, we communicate very well in every other aspect of our lives. Neither of us ever have to guess what the other one is thinking. We schedule our sex Tuesday and Friday so that we never fall into a rut. It’s not as adventurous that way, but I guess we prefer quantity over quality.
Evil_Pincone: **Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?**
Ex (dated over five years): Sometimes. It was flawed. The communication wasn’t the best.
Current partner (dated over six months): All the time and very effectively.
**Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?**
Ex: Some but not a lot.
Current partner: Yes, a lot.
**Do you have kids?**
Ex: No. We both are strongly against reproducing.
Current partner: No. We are both strongly against reproducing.
**Are you married / live together?**
Ex: Yes, we lived together for over four years.
Current partner: Not yet. We have been discussing the logistics of living together.
**Are you or your partner on birth control?**
Ex: She had an IUD and I have a vasectomy.
Current partner: She has an IUD and I have a vasectomy.
**Have you ever had long periods without sex?**
Ex: Yes, sometimes we would go over a month without sex.
Current partner: No. We have sex almost everyday we see each other. So far this week (Sunday-Friday), we’ve had sex 14 times and that is pretty common for us. I think the longest we’ve gone without sex so far is about four days and that was because I was sick and didn’t see her those days.
**Do you experiment in the bedroom?**
Ex: Yes, we often did.
Current partner: Yes, we often do.
**Do you split the chores/household duties?**
Ex: No. I just took care of the chores.
Current partner: While I am at her place or my place, I take care of most of the chores.
**Have you both always had high libidos?**
Ex: She didn’t have a high libido. I think her libido is fairly average.
Current partner: Yes, we both have very high libidos and have always had very high libidos.
**Are you both confident with your bodies?**
Ex: No. Me, no.
Current partner: Yes. Me, yes.
**Do you schedule sex?**
Ex: About half of the time, yes.
Current partner: No. She vehemently hates the idea of planned sex.
**What are some of the main attributes of your relationship that you believe keeps the ‘fire burning’?**
Ex: Regularly watching Animal Planet with her. Seriously. It often turned her on. It often ended up with us having sex.
Current partner: The fact that we both have sex drives that are a lot higher than average and we would both ideally prefer to have sex at least once per day. And the fact that we have constant banter going on between us and if the banter gets antagonistic enough, then it typically leads to sex.
nerdyladybug: >What are some of the main attributes of your relationship that you believe keeps the ‘fire burning’?
That fact that we are fun and playful outside the bedroom.
>Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?
>Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?
> Do you have kids?
Yes, a one year old
>Are you married / live together?
> Are you or your partner on birth control?
> Have you ever had long periods without sex?
After the birth of our child it was a struggle for me for a large chunk of the first year due to PPD/A. But it’s regulating back out again finally
>Do you experiment in the bedroom?
Not really anymore
> Do you split the chores/household duties?
No not really, I do like 98% of the chores and household duties
> Have you both always had high libidos?
No. In fact he doesn’t really have a high libido. I’ve always had a high libido, not including that stretch after birth right now I would say our libidos are evenly matched for the first time in our entire relationship.
Kit4000: 1. yes, we communicate openly. We have an ongoing dialogue about kinks, what we need more of , less of etc.
2. We touch and flirt near constantly
3. We have two teenagers. We are married. We were together for 14 years before we married., together 25 years.
4. I have my tubes tied. Before that I have been on the pill, depo shot and the patch
5. We have had periods of down time for different reasons. At our worst, we went about six weeks without sex.
6. Yes we experiment. Im the kinkier one so he indulges me from time to time
7. I tend to do more household chores than he does
8. His libido has never gone down. Mine has gone up and down over the years for different reason. But overall I have a moderately high drive.
9. I am not happy with my body but Im not ashamed of it either. Same for him. He is very thin and wants to gain weight. Im overweight.
10. We kind of schedule sex. We work different shifts so week nights are usually a no go so sat/sun are usually our guaranteed nights.
What keeps fires burning? We genuinely like each other, we are still romantically interested in each other. I guess its a combination of natural chemistry, sex drive and conscious effort. After heading into a potential dead bedroom the last time I made a decision to never let it happen again.
We date, flirt, I wear lingerie, use toys. If one of us gets bored we acknowledge it and shake things up a bit.
So in my case yes loss of sex drive can be inevitable but doesnt have to be the end.
roconfused: **Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?** yes. Regularly. We believe that its very important to talk about where we are doing well and not well especially as our interests change over time.
** Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?** that fluctuates a bit but yes. Sometimes we snuggle a lot sometimes less but we hold hands a lot and rub each other’s heads while watching tv ect.
**Do you have kids?** not unless you count a cat
-**Are you married / live together?** engaged, yes
**Are you or your partner on birth control?** iud
-** Have you ever had long periods without sex?** only during injury/illness but we take short breaks (few days) on purpose to let tension build on occasion
**Do you experiment in the bedroom?** a bit but not to a crazy extent. We tend to stock to things we are both into rather than something only one of us is into our curious about. If things die down I see is going there though.
**Do you split the chores/household duties?** not really. He does most of them. I do the bills and planning and some daily stiff but he does most of the cooking and cleaning. We do errands together.
**Have you both always had high libidos?** with each other yes, with exes no.
**Are you both confident with your bodies?** opposite, both crappy self esteem
**Do you schedule sex?** not really. Sometimes in the morning before work ewe will plan that night or if we turn the other down we will say “tomorrow” but no kids and all we can be spontaneous most of the time. Only have to fight the tired. Not romantic to say “hey if you want to bang its now or never I’m getting tired ” but figure its as good as saying “is Thurs good for you?”. I’ve done it in past relationships though.
mysexxitreply: **What are some of the main attributes of your relationship that you believe keeps the ‘fire burning’?** Genuine affection, respect, attraction. I think that sex has often been the glue that kept us together when other aspects of our relationship weren’t working as well as they should. So for us it isn’t just attributes of our relationship that keep the fires burning but the burning fire often keeps our relationship going.
**Do you openly communicate about sex with your partner?** We talk about sex quite often, not just our own sex lives but sex in general. We think it is interesting and sex is a frequent topic of conversation. Talking about sex as an idea often leads to good conversations about own sex life.
**Do you have a lot of non-sexual touch/affection?** Most evenings find us sitting in bed, reading our books and touching each other. When we finally turn of the lights, we often cuddle up for a bit before falling asleep. We hold hands a lot when out in public.
**Do you have kids?** Yes, now grown.
**Are you married / live together?** Yes, several decades.
**Are you or your partner on birth control?** Vasectomy.
**Have you ever had long periods without sex?** Only when we are physically unable for medical reasons (say after the birth of a child) or because we are apart from each other for some length of time.
**Do you experiment in the bedroom?** Not really.
**Do you split the chores/household duties?** Not currently. He works full-time, I do not. I do all of the house stuff.
**Have you both always had high libidos?** Our libidos have mostly been pretty aligned. There have been times when they didn’t quite match up but that is to be expected with any long-term relationship.
**Are you both confident with your bodies?** Can’t really answer that question.
**Do you schedule sex?** No, he is adamantly opposed to it so we don’t.
edit: added a thought
EAColCan: We don’t schedule sex time but on a daily basis we have us time where kids, pets, TV and life are all left outside the bedroom door. It may not lead to sex every time but it does create intimacy. We also tend to want to please the other person even if the other isn’t necessarily in the “mood” for sex .