Sex Drive and Being Fat
I have gained a ton of weight during a short period of time. I went through lots of stressful stuff…separation… divorce…dating and now living with a wonderful woman who values me and is positive and supportive af!
So now my BMI is like 50…I am the biggest I have ever been and use to be a lean, mean, and strong. I was for a lack of a better word…sex machine. You wanted it, boom…I was ready. Now…ehh…not as much. I want cuddles, hugs and stuff still…my ex wife was as affectionate as a tortise. My current partner, she is like “”did I do something? Am I too old and not pretty?” I am like “no…you are beautiful and the best thing to happen to me since peanut butter”.
What I do to add oomph to my sex drive again? I have started dieting (thank you FitBit and MyFitnessPal) and exercising (martial arts twice a week). Anything else???
HuckleberryPoundTown: Honestly, nothing is going to beat getting back into shape.
I’d really suggest adding some cardio to your routine. Any activity is good activity and martial arts have tons of ancillary benefits. That said, it just can’t compete with an hour on the elliptical when it comes to improving your health.
gomezjose26: From my experience i was 100lbs over my ideal weight. Dieting, exercise, cycling to work, and vo2 training has helped me lose 75lbs so far. Now i can bang out my wife like if i was 18 and she’s the one now that can’t keep up lol. Stay motivated and focused.
Eruaphadion2016: Thank you all for advice, observation, encourage, and candor. I am new to Reddit and wasn’t sure if this is something to post about here or elsewhere.
Update: I talked to my GF. Much more understanding now and she is being playful/flashy/sexy which is a self esteem booster for me. Thanks again everyone.
bsnis01: Nothing is better than diet and exercise
Also you may try eating less at night and not eating after 7 pm. Usually in the morning i wake up lighter and with a huge desire for sex.
Maybe it helps?
No gym. Just need a pullup bar (30 bucks) and about 1.5 hours 3 times a week.
MattatouilleUK: I’m down to 324lbs from 360lbs and I’m 6ft 2.
Lose weight and reap the rewards. Watch your stamina go through the roof. Your erections will get far better. Also make sure not to masturbate.
If your confidence suffers take a viagra. It helped me the first time round when I felt dejected. Then after that I was good to go.
Stay out of your own head. You haven’t changed. You are still on the same sexual level as before but your body has changed. Go and get your body back. Couple lbs a week. Just change the minor things and the pounds will fall off.
Cut out fizzy, cut down on the unhealthy where you can. Introduce a little exercise here and there. Walk a little more. You got this.
kdris_: Losing weight had a dramatic impact on my sex drive. It was near non-existent at 235+. Now it’s like I’m 18 again, no joke. I never don’t want it.
ryamya: please don’t with hold affection from your new partner. If you don’t want sex, and its affected your libido, talk to her about it. But if she’s coming to you and asking you why your not touching her and romancing her, its eating away at her and killing her self worth. My ex did this,it makes you feel terrible and you think your the problem. If its because your bothered by your new body,again, talk to her. She’s with you,wants you, thats not an issue obviously, so work slowly back to the intimacy. Also…the more you have sex, the more you want it, so don’t have to longer breaks between sexy times. It doesn’t have to be sex all the time either, maybe its taking a shower with your mrs, going down on her or fingering her in the car and watching her cum….things that are visually a turn on and get your motors running for next time.
beenherebfo: You are just like my bf i can say, he used to be lean but ever since he gained a lot of weight, his sex drive has dropped down too. I would say try to get back in shape, lower your BMI to the normal range, it’ll benefit not only you but your partner greatly too. Trust me!
WonderPower: I want to know this as well
LightningDan5000: I think getting back in shape should be the main priority. I recommend weight lifting as I enjoy it myself, however, there are many things you can do to be more active. As for the actual weight loss – monitoring your caloric intake is very important and portion control is king. /r/fitness is a great resource and good luck!
tvtray: I think you may have already discovered..it all starts with your brain…
AcheronUnearthing: Nothing will work. Fat is an organ and releases estrogen like compounds that suppress your testosterone which, not only feminized you by giving you man tits, but tanked your sex drive. Couple that with 24 hour a day extreme exhaustion from being obese, poor circulation from your stressed and likely dying heart resulting in weak erections and your penis being buried in a fat pad and it’s a recipe for sexual disaster.
I’m sorry buddy but all you can do is lose the weight.
scaphoids1: For me intermitente fasting was the thing that changed my mood and sex drive the most! Even though I was working out and eating a little healthier intermitente just changed everything so fast! Maybe give that a try for a week
thedukeofaz: You might want to see a doctor. Check testosterone levels.
FilthMonger85: Stop being fat.