BUSTY MELISSA DEBLING
I think it is a multi-step process.
It is important to find out something about her first, sort of like a reconnaissance mission, then make a strategic plan. Just follow the steps I am going to list below.
First find out if she likes trolls. If she does, then you are home free, just come right out and ask her “Do you mind of I objectify you, and treat you like a piece of meat, existing only for my carnal gratification?” If she is into trolls, or is actually one herself, your hands will be permitted onto her boobs.
On the other hand, if she is a normal person, you are going to have to change your entire worldview before she allows you to touch her boobs.
I have detailed some ideas for you:
Make yourself believe (through self-hypnosis or the opening of your heart) that she is a real human being and deserves the same type of respect, love and consideration you crave for yourself.
Pay attention to her and find out what she is concerned about, and try to see things through her eyes. Talk to her about the things she finds interesting.
Respect her boundaries, grow up and be a gentleman. The idea that you can become a real man one day will make you attractive to her.
This is a short list, and there are other things you will need to learn before you are ready for boobs, but it is a good start. If you have more questions, you should post them, I’m sure we can help you become a human being one day.
Kudos to you for being aware of consent and wanting to find out how to get it.
I know it can be awkward to straight up ask “can I touch your breasts?” and although I still think that’s the most straight-forward, easiest to interpret way to get consent, I’ll give you some other ideas as well.
Compliment them directly and see what she says
You: your breasts look so beautiful
You: can I touch them?
Phrase it as a statement
You: I’d love to feel your breasts
Her: I’m not comfortable with that/sure, go ahead
I don’t have a lot of experience in this area but hopefully that helps a bit.
I would agree with every one here. No vast difference amongst them. I would add the last thing you want to hear:
Forget about it (put it out of your mind, for now).
Learn everything, compliment everything. For the sake of this, your question, I’m referring to her physicality. Her body and how she uses it. Her walk. The way she blinks. Be meticulous. Don’t worry about being redundant. This will take a while. While you’re doing this let her know this about you.
This being, the wonderful, vulnerable, and naive you. Don’t take any of this as a put down.. I’m an “older” guy and I would refer to my self as naive, and vulnerable in ways.
Once you’ve achieved THIS level of acquaintance, that’s when these questions will come. From both of you, at the same time.
I don’t blame you for thinking this guy is nuts. I think it, and everything will get better. A lot better for both of you. That’s a relationship that people will envy.
All the best of luck, and love to you.
I don’t have any issue with polite asking, or playful exploring. But my style is if I want to ask someone to give something of importance, I’ll offer to go first.
- Take her hand, gently, and nestle it inside your slightly unbuttoned shirt.
- Rest her hand on your chest.
- Look into her eyes.
At this point your heart may be beating fast from the exciting possibilities. And she’ll likely respond to that, as we respond very viscerally to a palpable human heart.
If she’s ready, she’ll reciprocate.
I think this would be respectful and agreeable to both, for all experience and intimacy levels.
Note: this only makes sense in a relatively equitable exchange. I know you understand that sexual advances are not equal bilaterally — a woman reacts to a man’s privates very differently than the other direction — and that’s why you asked.
I’m glad you understand the importance of consent. Now I suggest you learn what does and doesn’t feel good to women. (Hint: squeezes can be painful.) The best way to do this is to ask what she likes.
Instead of asking, “Can I touch your boobs?” which, you’re right, is creepy and the exact opposite of sexy, you might just ask, “Where/how would you like me to touch you?” Make it about her desires, not yours.
I’ll tell you how we got there 🙂
It all depends on where you are in the relationship, in terms of how open, trusting, vulnerable and accepting you can be of each other. It is not a function of time alone.
We were madly in love, and hugging and kissing, a few times every day. She loves it, I love it. All emotional love, nothing sexual till then. And then one day, during a hug and kiss, my hand brushed her breasts lightly and she shivered. I smiled and said, it’s interesting how your body reacts when my hand just brushes them. She smiled shyly. I felt a little braver, I asked, ‘may I’? She was in my arms, in love with me, fully trusting me with herself, her heart, soul, emotions, to some extent body. She said,’ I don’t know, never experienced anything like it… Sure, go ahead, so what you want’. And we’ve gone way beyond just touching since.
Being emotionally together and open, vulnerable, absolutely trusting is a must. But for the guy most important is to be respectful. Her body, her rules. If she’d said, ‘No I’m not comfortable’ , I would’ve left it. She would’ve remarked, ‘we’re not there yet, we’ll get there’
This is an awkward one to answer as a lot depends on the persons involved. Kudos for wanting to be sure she would be happy to let you touch her rather than just doing it, and yes it might be creepy to come right out and ask unless its in a subtle way. Maybe while lying down kissing and happy pull back a little and gaze at her, stroke her face gently, tell her how beautiful she is, stroke her arms then her neck, continue stroking telling her how soft her skin is then stop with your hand just above her breasts look down and ask “may I?” If she nods or says yes stroke outside the clothing or on the cleavage, do not try to dive straight for the ‘handful’ or the nipple. This seems like a big step for you so take it slowly and ease into it,one button at a time, look at her frequently and give her chance to indicate that she’s uncomfortable, if she is just stop, there’s no rush it doesn’t have to be accomplished all in one day. If she has stopped you talk about it, thank her for allowing you as much access as she did. Try again next time, or the time after, or the time after etc
You don’t ask to touch. You create a moment and read the cues when she actually wants to be touched, cuddle and make out. Also, no need to focus specifically on her breasts, start by kissing and then move smoothly. And what’s important is to understand her reservation and let it go when and if she starts feeling uncomfortable.