Moa Aberg by Jared Thomas Kocka (2017) + BTS short video. Moa Aberg is a model from Sweden
Why is “daddy” used in a sexual term?
I’ve been referred to it before but it always seemed weird to me. Is it because women want the men to be more dominant or is there some other reason?
thecaptainsspeech: As someone who enjoys calling their SO Daddy, I personally prefer someone who fits the big, strong and masculine mentality. I get enjoyment out of using the word because, to me, it’s basically a catch all, easy term for someone who fits that description. Basically, to me, it’s- who’s a masculine figure that typically puts care and thought into taking care of you? A dad.
It makes the guy seem powerful, but not cruel and I find that VERY attractive.
That being said, however, I only like to use it during sex. Calling your SO daddy in polite conversation makes me super uncomfortable.
switch_the_witch: As someone who was actually abused by their father as a child, I can still see the appeal of it. It is used in BDSM, and in relationships where the woman wants to be a “little.” You would have to look at the “little space” and see how they look at it. It’s r/littlespace
MattatouilleUK: Daddy is used as a figure of authority or a position of power over another person. It’s used in sex usually by the more submissive of the two as an act of submission.
It’s used more for this kind of purpose than anything. An example might be someone saying “spank me daddy”. Pretty light as far as domination goes, but still an act of submission.
It’s also used in the pimp/sugar daddy world. As a sugar daddy might pay for you to have things in return for sexual favours or the obvious pimp which is a leadership role over prostitutes.
tawa83: Not to yuck anyone’s yum, but that term squicks me out…
ninatherowd: Idk why do people like to call their partner baby, when they are not a baby? It’s a term of endearment. My bf calls me mama I call him daddy. Now the fact that he is 2 yrs older than my dad and has daughters my age…that’s just besides the point 😛
Zarkos_Fondue: My gf started calling me “Daddy” about a year ago and at first I was a little turned off by it. It felt a little too creepy, but the more I explored its significance, the more comfortable I got with her calling me that. The way I’ve come to understand it is that within a BDSM relationship there is a Dom and a Sub. One is in control while the other is submissive. There are many ways for a sub to refer to their dom. Sir, master, Daddy and probably a couple of others that I can’t think of at this moment. Sir and master are nice, but they seem too formal and too distant. “Daddy” on the other hand is a lot less distant. It’s almost comforting. The sub still shows the dom that he or she is still in control but the feeling is much less formal and therefore much closer than the other titles. “Daddy” takes on a slightly paternal sense in that the dom is there to take care of their sub and make sure that they are ok and yet can still be flexible enough for the dom to be strict when they need to be. I feel much more comfortable now with the term and I fully try to embrace the part by taking care of my little with playtime and gifts and disciplining her when necessary or when she misbehaves. 😈
lynxmouth: A Daddy is a type of dominant in the BDSM community. The difference between a Daddy and a Dom is that a Daddy tends to be little more nurturing. The Daddy/little relationship is less sadistic and masochistic in general and tends to be more innocent. That isn’t to say that some Daddies and littles don’t get rough, but there’s a different subtext, more discipline than punishment. It’s on the lighter end of the BDSM scale, although it can sometimes involve age-play.
Not all submissive people have been abused, let alone by parental figures. Some have been or perhaps neglected. For those people, who are reclaiming their power, calling a dominant figure Daddy is taking away all the stigma and perhaps bad memories of fathers they’ve had in the past and making it into something safe, celebrated, and sexy. The figure of a Daddy or a Mommy is that of a person who will guide them, protect them from difficult aspects of life, and be a safe space for them to be their truest, most innocent selves.
I sometimes get off on calling a partner Daddy, but for me, it is only a person I trust highly and not someone I pretend to be a little girl with. I’m a grown lady, but I like the idea that someone is in control and that I can just be. My last partner would growl, “Fuck, Baby Girl,” when I did something particularly arousing, and it gave me a sense of power knowing that as much as my Daddy was in control of my pleasure, I was in control of his, also. It is a term of trust, for the most part.
In another thread, people discussed how incest porn was on the rise as a marketing concept. I don’t necessarily relate this to people who actually want to have incest with parental figures. It’s a symbolic term, by large.
sexquestions_papiyme: I know it weirds some people out. However, I was raised by my aunt and uncle, and never called anyone “Dad” or “Daddy.” So in my case, it’s easy to separate the standard meaning from the kink meaning. It’s also not a big stretch, as my SO is already a Dad. As other people have stated, as a sub, I like it because it’s warmer and more intimate than “Sir” or “Master.” We don’t engage in incest roleplaying. That term only exists in our lives as part of our sub/dom dynamic. It is also very common and socially accepted in my SO’s culture for people to call their male SO’s and even male friends or family members “Papi.”
DanteVelour: Don’t call me daddy unless you want me to go to the store milk, and not come back for twenty years.
Sir, however is always acceptable and appreciated.
_throwaway8157: I’m also a bit confused by it, seen people say stuff about it for years online. But it’s one of the few things in kink culture that kind of creeps me out, even before I had kids. Now I have kids and it’s really off putting. But it’s really common to see stuff about “daddy” meaning like a sexual caregiver I guess? I’m not sure.
If it floats your boat go for it, but I know I personally would not want my wife to call me daddy in a sexual way. She’s also expressed that she finds it odd and a little creepy, and she reads hardcore BDSM erotica.
So I’d really like to know why people do it. I guess just cause they like it, but I’d be interested to know why they like it. I even went to the little space subreddit trying to figure it out and came out more confused then I entered.
sleepdie: Turn off
n0mad26: It shouldn’t be, as a man with daughters this term is far form sexy to me
thepopperguy: It’s a barrage of reasons like many people said.
No father figure/shit father figure/abusive father figure. Can see the SO as a good male figure and use the term adoringly as a protector, teacher, warm, and loving influence that they may have never had.
Can be used as a term of affection just as anyone would use ‘baby’, ‘honey’, ‘doll’, etc. I know some Hispanic people who call their younger children ‘mama’s’ or ‘mama’.
Can be more a sexual BDSM or roleplay type of thing.
It’s not necessary always used in just a sexual tense, but a lot of people don’t like letting it out that they call someone or are called ‘daddy’ because a lot of people only apply it to a sexual sense and are gringey about it.
andrewNZ_on_reddit: I think there are two ways it can be used.
Daddy – my father figure.
Daddy – a father figure for my children.
Same word, totally different levels of weird for me.
Demona666: Some people like it because they feel it carries dominance. Personally, not my thing. Totally kills the mood.
thisaintreal69: My ex-gf and i got into the whole ddlg stuff at her request.Called me Daddy,etc.I found it silly and dirty.We are no longer together.
Canadian_Beacon: Me and my girl love it. It was weird at first but I just sort of got into character now I think it’s really hot. Empowering.
BonnieBlitz: I personally call my boyfriend “daddy” because I am so inlove with him that the idea of getting pregnant and starting a family with him really turns me on. I haven’t felt this way about another man before and I definitely wouldn’t get aroused by calling just any guy “daddy”. In fact, prior to dating him the term would have turned me off.
tawa83: I must commend all that have posted…on an issue in which people have a visceral reaction one way or the other, all posts have been remarkably snark-free, informative, and understanding of others preferences.
Here’s one hope that this spills out into the rest of Reddit, leaches out the corners of the Internet, and into our society as a whole.
One last question: to those who called their SO “daddy” in a sexual context, and also have daughters with their partner, how do you feel when you hear your daughter(s) call him “daddy”? No judgment, just curiosity…
love2read86: I had an ex who used to love when I called him daddy during sex.
He asked me to call him that one day when we were having sex,and we were a fairly newly couple at the time, so I don’t think it was a new thing for him.
It freaked me out, but I did it. He also had a young daughter and was the only man I ever dated with children. I never liked it, and I felt like it was a dominant / submissive thing right away.
procrastablasta: Why is “baby” used?
RickyAcid: God knows. People say it’s just a word for an authority figure but it’s not at all, it’s a word for your dad.
It’s equivalent to a guy calling his girlfriend mummy which is just as cringey.
Ohfuckit17: Yeah it’s icky to me, but yeah some folks like to play around with the word for all kinda unsavoury reasons.
My SO and I are not to interested in using “daddy” . Alternative name suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
anorexicsexslave: MASTER CHEIF
SmokyMcNuggs: Shia LaBeouf
craftychick716: Father is the same as daddy. Although, thanks for the suggestion.
Sir… definitely tryable.thanks
CrushedLaCroixCan: Sir, master, his initials or an abbreviation of his name, an animal like a fox or tiger.
ManualSearch: … Master? What are you trying to get out of this replacement? Daddy is a specific term.
MyDarkThrowawaaay: Try something like [thesaurus.com](http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/master?s=t) and browse synonyms for father, sir, master, teacher.. whatever terms best fit your bond.
If nothing there sparks interest, consider one of those terms in another language, perhaps?
th_veteran: Boss? Pater? Chief? Mugwump? Jesus?
altsexual: Mr. President?
tsotherland: Lord Cock! Bringer of pleasure