Any women who want sex more than their partner?
The stereotype is that men want sex 24/7 and women are having to pry them off. But in my relationship I’m usually the one pushing us to the bed. (f 21, m26) Any other ladies like this? I gotta say, it’s extremely infuriating sometimes!
Veronika10334: Yes, both my best friend and I are currently in relationships where our partners don’t want it nearly as frequently as we do. *sigh*
Sweeneyslittletodd: My girlfriend can’t keep her hands off me and herself. I have to sometimes tell her I won’t be able to perform properly because we just had sex like 3 times that day already. She’ll then sometimes watch porn to get off but if I’m in the room and porn is there we still end up fucking. Damn her and her tricks! xD I love it though, but sometimes I know your frustration.
Edit: My GF wanted to add that her previous relationship was devoid of sex and how that really brought down her self esteem and made her feel like she was an oversexual demon. It’s hard to believe that there is someone who fits your desires but it’s possible and worthwhile when you not only find someone that desires you as much as you desire them, but that they also enjoy sharing in the intimacy that sex can bring. Sex has only ever improved and became more fun once eye contact was established and our favorite position changed from doggy style to missionary because of the intimacy we found with eachother. Whether or not a relationship has high or low libido, it should always be an intimate experience. Ultimately, she says this established intimacy is the reason why she can’t keep her hands off of me.
downletmefall: I (f) could have sex 2-3 hours/day. My partner (m) would be good w/ 2-4 times per week.
Edit: im also not on bc (we use condoms etc) and my libido increased SO much once I got my iud removed.
citycinderella: :::raises hand::::: hence dead bedroom and divorce looming.
DreadfulRauw: Plenty. Women can have high sex drives too.
mineobile: Yep, My gf(28) wants sex nearly everyDay, where me(male 27) can go months w/o sex or masturbation.
marieclaw: Sadly, I’m always that girl.
One of my friends ~~with benefits~~ even told me that *maybe my ex dumped me because I wanted so much sex that it doomed the relationship.*
My boyfriend is a great lover and he’s always as excited as I am, but he’ll never be *as* excited as I am.
AsAlwaysItDepends: Tons, go check out r/deadbedrooms.
I read a stat that said that, when couples end up in therapy for mis-matched desire for sex, it’s 50/50 who’s unhappy.
Yellow_Brick_Road: Yes. I’d love to jump my husbands bones on a daily basis. He’s good with once a week.
blastedin: Just complained about it in another thread recently. Someone responded with “men think they want a woman who wants a lot of sex, until they actually get a woman who wants a lot of sex.”
Trust me, there’s plenty of people like you.
Ref0rmed_L0ser: Lol had to show my (M26) wife (F21) this post and ask her if she posted it on an alt account. Yeah I have the lower libido in the relationship. It happens, I’ve been on both sides of this issue and trust me both sides can get frustrating sometimes.
Snesgamer83: It’s a stereotype for a reason (meaning, there are plenty of occasions and couples for which it isn’t true). I’m a guy, and have always been the one with lower libido/sex drive in my relationships.
BaconBerryPancakes: Totally normal! Enjoy it! I used to be you (young female, high sex drive). Now married with multiple children, whether it’s lifestyle, hormones, or whatever… I miss that drive! High libido is frustrating at times, can be difficult if you value monogamy, but oh so fun.
inkedblonde13: Yeah, he jokes that he’s making me wait for it…
He holds up pretty well 2bf i really can’t complain but if i don’t orgasm during sex that makes me even worse for wanting more.
irishtrashpanda: Yup, if there were no time restraints I’d happily go 2-3 times a day, if I waited for my boyf to initiate it with me it’d be maybe every 2-3 days average. He gets turned on by me initiating it so we average out having sex once a day which more than satisfies me, I usually crave the connection more than being horny. It does feel ‘wanted’ when he initiates though, I wish I were patient enough to wait for that but I usually jump him.
rubypanda00: My boyfriend says Im totally hot, but his sex drive is really very low. I’ll be pushing my tush against him suggestively or sit on his lap in my underwear, but its been over a month.
chocolatemilk182: I knew there were others! Lol. First and foremost, cudos to all you men and women who feel isolated but don’t cheat. It’s never fun being the person who wants and can’t have. I mean, you’re literally committed to a person, which means you’re only supposed to seek them for sex, and yet they’re withholding 🙁 this can definitely lead to resentment, which is probably the #1 worst thing in a relationship. Honestly. you just have to find out what’s really happenning. Are they withholding sex because u didn’t wash dishes? (like, using sex as leverage) Are they in pain? (sore, illness, but is there an end in sight? ) Or are they really tired? Tired is a legit excuse. But relationships are about compromise. Sometimes you do things not cause you want to, but because of how important it is for the other person. This next bit may not help too much, but it has helped my relationship some: check your peak times. What time are they the most likely to want sex? My bf for example needs to release in the morning, whereas Im an afternoon gal. But sadly that would lead to me coming home from classes (I have class from 1-4) jumping on my man but he’s already set for the day from his morning rub lol. What I’ve tried doing is getting him to ‘include’ me in his morning cycle, like hey I’m sleeping but im totally cool with getting filled up. Totally consensual. Anyway, hope that helps
someonetorunwith: Yes, I seem to have a much higher libido than him.
Countryside85: Totally understand where you’re coming from!! Trust you are not alone.
dontwantany12know: My ex (29M) and I (32F) were like this. I want sex at least twice a day. Morning and night. His refractory period makes him a one-and-done kind of a guy, and he works the late shift (3pm-1am) as a police officer. He’s tired all the time and, even though highly attracted to me, is fine to just have sex once a week. It wasn’t what ended our relationship (we’re FWB now) but it was certainly an incompatibility that frustrated the hell out of me while he got an ego boost out of how badly I wanted him.
Pizzagurl242: I am generally the partner with the higher libido haha. I had to warn my current bf that I’m typically horny about 70% of my daily life because partners in the past have literally told me to “cut it out.” In the middle of the night, when I wake up in the morning, if the sun hits your eyes just right, if you catch my damn phone before it hits the ground at Starbucks– anywhere for no reason at all. It’s frustrating, especially since sexual intimacy is one of the (many) ways I express my trust in a partner, so I sometimes mistake my partner’s spurns as rejection and dare I say… disrespect? But then I just take a few deep breaths and try to read a book or something haha. My current partner is also not as sexually experienced as I am so I have to remind myself that compromise will ultimately make our sex even better.
Longjelly: Yup. Emotions and level of tiredness rarely affect me.
rangerfan88: My fiance (f28) could go multiple times a day, me (m29) can go months without it and not think about it. It’s starting some major relationship problems.
donttrustmyhusband: Yeah but it turns out my husband has been beating off to r/gonewild so he doesn’t want sex when he gets in bed.
skaterampblues: YES. I (f21) just spent 4 days with a guy (m25) I recently started seeing. we had sex once! (not the first time this has been the situation with him) It was amazing, but I’m left wondering if he even really likes me because I wanted sex constantly and he was fine with just having sex the one time… (could be life stresses on his part?) but yeah I’m constantly think about/craving sex, I have a few other girl friends that are the same way.
annperkinshatesHP: Yes. I’m very much into it, and could have it every day. That’s where the need for masturbation comes into play. 🙂
KiwiLawGirl: Yep. But current partner keeps up with me for most part, thank God. High quality orgasms and intimacy.
SixSexySockPuppets: Yes, and I’ve found some really fantastic and therapeutic podcast episodes I’d recommend. I don’t know if links are allowed. Search ‘Dear Sugars’ for episode Sexless Relationships. It’s from Sept 2017.
Second is Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel. Ep is Speak to me in French.
moonsandthelike: I’m the same way. My boyfriend doesn’t have much of a sex drive, but it feels like I constantly want to do things, even just simple foreplay. Over the course of our relationship, I’ve had to learn not to take it personally and realize that it’s just how he is. My advice would be to invest in sex toys lol
fox112: Yes. There are other women besides her that have a high sex drive.
Glad I could clear this up for you.
uberprioritymail: Me. I don’t have a crazy high libido either. My bf has been undergoing a major renovation to his home and he’s been incredibly stressed out. When he gets stressed, he has no interest in sex. It’s been very difficult.
forlorn_pupper: I’m definitely the higher libido one between my bf and I, most of the time. I feel edgy after a few days, but he’s more passive about it and doesn’t seem to crave it as badly.
ninjaobvious: If(25) have a higher sex drive than my partner (31). We have an amazing sex life (4x week) and mostly more but I could always go for more.
HanksaLumberjack: I wish I had this problem lol. In all seriousness I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Since its the other way around for me, my suggestion would be to constantly keep the lines of communication open. Talk about it. My gf and I did that and our sex life is a million times better. Not as often as I would like but more than when we first started dating
Enihusky: I am 22, my boyfriend is 23 and I have a drive MILES higher than him. Ideally I’d want it multiple times a week but with our differences in libido I settle for once during the weekend. Although sex has currently taken a going-on 3 week hiatus because my bf is under a lot of stress. I went on amazon and bought 2 new toys out of sexual frustration the other day because I could masturbate 100 times but it’s never nearly as satisfying than real intimacy.
mllesourpatch: My boyfriend sometimes doesn’t. It felt a little weird the first time it happened and I couldn’t help but think I was doing something wrong, or he didn’t find me attractive. But he works a very active and hectic job and sometimes he just gets really, really tired. Other times he just wants to cuddle and feel close that way, which is a-ok with me. It just caught me off guard at first.
4nonyninja: My girlfriend wants it more than I give it.
_JeanGenie_: I only had one boyfriend who could keep up, but we were both 16 back then so maybe that doesn’t count. I’m 28 now and while I’m not a sex-crazed teen anymore, my current boyfriend’s sexdrive is much lower than mine still. Most of my girlfriends have the same issue.
HeavyDutyJudy: I’ve had the higher libido in every relationship I’ve been in.
islandescapee: Been married for 9 years. I’m 39. He’s 33. With the age difference, you’d think I wouldn’t be able to handle him. 🙄
bdsmchs: As a male with an extremely high libido, I’ve yet to meet one. But my GF and I have regular threesomes, so I do on occasion reach full satisfaction.
AcidRose27: Yes. It almost caused us to divorce in our first year of marriage. I told him I wouldn’t be in a sexless relationship so the two options were counseling or divorce. We went to therapy and worked on our communication, it took (and still takes) compromise from us both, and sometimes we schedule sex. I’ve had friends tell me (when they asked for advice on similar problems) that scheduling sex is unsexy, I always respond that not having sex is unsexier. It’s work and it requires give and take from us both, but we’ve made it work for us.
tayyer: i’m the girlfriend who wants sex every time i see my man (we are long distance) so ya know gotta make up to lost time. but he always says he is too tired 🙁
itsjustbrittt: I (f26) have been with 4 women and 4 men… every single relationship I was in, I was always the one wanting more sex. And I’m not being unreasonable. If I was given it 2-3 times a week I would be beyond happy. I could fill in the spaces in between. But all 8 people I’ve been with don’t care for it as much as I do and complain I want it waaaay too much. I am always the pleaser too, so it’s not like I’m making them do all the work or even minimal work. I get off almost as well just pleasing my partner. Like… let me fuck you?
dtmfadvice: Seems like it’s about 50/50 with mismatched couples, just skimmig assorted advice boards.
gracew998: I (21F) have the much higher sex drive than my partner (21M). I usually get it about 3-5 times daily but I’d probably take three or four hours out of our sleep schedule if it meant I could get fucked 10+ times daily (I don’t need much sleep but he does unfortunately). I’ve found my sex drive to always be much higher than normal and it’s lately been almost insatiable. As in, I’m trying to take my boyfriend’s cock every second I see a window for him to get inside me. He just can’t keep up and can’t stay up if I’ve already worn him out with 4 or 5 rounds. I’m starting to feel like I may need a second or third partner to finish fucking me every day lol
bookwyrm13: Yeah, I’ve been the higher libido partner in 3 of my 4 longterm relationships (and it’s not like I have a crazy high libido in the first place – like, 2-3 times a week would be great, rather than maybe 2-3 times a month). It’s been kind of rough and left me a bit insecure.
woknwobyn: I’m 37. It only gets worse. Women become more comfortable with themselves as they age and in turn become more receptive to uninhibited sex. Men start to produce less testosterone as they age and in turn have lower sex drives. Not true in all cases for sure, but it happens. Ironic no?
Sessyhispanic: I wish my grill friend had high libido Lol
chickennuggetbutts: Me, me so hard. My sex drive is way higher than my boyfriends. It drives me nuts 😭
Ms_Gibbs: My current situation.
TinyCynner: Yep, this is me. I want sex more often than my BF, he often needs help to get going.
Tsu_Dho_Namh: Most of my girlfriends have had higher sex drives than me. I was okay with once or twice a week. 2 of them would have preferred daily and another wanted it every other dayish.
heWhoMostlyOnlyLurks: That is the primary subject of this sub.
imp_of_santa: > The stereotype is that men want sex 24/7 and women are having to pry them off. But in my **relationship**
My emphasis. That’s the issue. Yes, men are often trying to get sex more than, much more than, women are, but that’s out of context.
Familiarity [tends to undermine attraction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect) in men — in women, it can often help.
Try not to take it personally. It’s just biology.
Dogs_Can_Look_Up: Yes and it really upsets me. Thanks to stereotypes you see in the movies I never thought I would be in this position and my fragile mind doesn’t know how to take rejection.
darthganji: Yes, yes, omg yes. I even told him in the beginning that I have a high libido. It’s really important to me in a partner and has caused problems in past relationships. He just kind of laughed it off and insisted it couldn’t be as high as his. Well, here we are…
[deleted]: I’d say 9 out of 10 guys want more sex than women. That’s why there are prostitutes.
falcon0221: Nope but I understand you. I’m a guy who likes to have sex more than once a month with my wife, fuck me right?
craigslistguyfour: Not in my situation. We’re that stereotypical I (m) want it a lot and she doesn’t very often.
Crashdmmy35: Where are these women? I (m47) am constantly in need of some sort of relief! UGH…