Hubby and I have been together for over 10 years and sex has gotten mundane. Couple of questions
Well title says it all a here’s the questions.
I feel that hubby and maybe me too have fallen into a routine. Tired of sex only in the bedroom, I initiate 80% of the time and I know the first thing outta hubs mouth is “Do you want me to get you a toy?” My question is why would he always ask this ? Is it because he feels I need a toy to get off? Or maybe he wants to try and make sure I get off ?
Secondly, I want to spice things up when we go on vacay to San Francisco in 2 weeks any suggestions?
Forty6nTwo: I find myself asking if she would like her toy as well after 5 years. Usually she does want it or will want it within a few minutes. Maybe its the routine and partly it helps me knowing the toy is going to help her get off. Less pressure maybe.
22Livia: Lazy, perhaps, or just tired. 80 % is a lot.
reddittbob58: Tell him “no toys” when you initiate sex. Communicate. Tell him you want just him to get you off. Tell him how he turns you on. Men want to hear that.
Spicing things up? You mean getting kinky?
Steph-Gold: Bdsm we both enjoy but have only lightly explored it
cdi4440: There’s so many ways, romantic, forceful. We don’t know your routines now so hard to suggest. Everyone is guilty of it though. I could make a suggestion but without knowing you it won’t matter if you’re not willing
pleasedoit4me2018: Get some toys you can both use during sex. It may spice things up a bit for both of you, and if it does not then you can just throw away or put away the toys. It might enhance your sex and he may be asking because he is interested in it more than not. Good luck!
Transient_Goblin: Start trying to understand what you are wanting and why. Also, start talking about what is going on, what you would like to see changed and why. Understand yourself and learn to communicate your desires.
Its not easy. I am in a serious rut myself with a wife in perpetual peri-menopause or something.
beejhumanist: Oh my gosh. Sounds like our husbands are exactly the same. Mine asks the same question and now it’s really difficult for me to get turned on (even though I always want sex but when we begin it feels so routine)…. honestly, a lot of it is laziness or disinterest in really getting me off. The toy is the easiest route. I struggled with this for a long time and now I have almost given up. It seems when I give up trying he suddenly wants to be exciting. It’s like a game of cat and mouse. Hate it. I wish I had good advice, but all I can say is that I completely relate.