Hypersexuality and feeling ashamed
I am an 18 year old girl who for complicated reasons did not accept my parents money for college. I was in a relationship before with a man who told me he was threatened by my sexuality on a daily basis. In order to make money I signed up for Seekingarrangement and have been meeting with rich men who give me money to spend a bit of time with them. I naïvely thought it would be possible to find someone who was looking for a platonic relationship, but all of them want sex. I have now slept with about 7 or 8 different men, all but one were unattractive, and I didn’t really mind any of this because I really do love sex. My friends know I make money from meeting with guys, but I lie and tell them I don’t sleep with the men because they have expressed that they would judge me if I did. It makes me feel so ashamed. I’ve slept with more people than girls I know who get called whores (yes im aware that this is slut shaming, but it still gets to me) I’m basically working as a prostitute, but I’ve never had as much money as I have right now. I now experience extreme feelings of shame and self hatred because of all of this. I feel disgusting. I feel like nobody could ever love this side of me and I’ll be forced to keep this secret to myself forever. Please help!!
midmarch: Hello! I am in no way discounting the advice you will get here, but you might also want to try r/SexWorkersOnly.
Fart_Prospector: What you do is amazing and you should be proud of it. Someone important once said “if you want to find your purpose in life, just think about the people who depend on you.
The purpose of life is to create more life. Everything else we do is in support of that. Eating, sleeping, forming societies and everything else exists only to allow us to successfully spread our DNA. Sexual drive is the single most important force in humanity.
Now Imagine how the men you meet must feel on a daily basis living a life that has driven them into enough desperation to PAY for the most basic human need. They are unattractive? It is hard enough for an attractive man to find a sexual partner, now multiply that by being ugly. Can you imagine how depressing that can be?
Imagine how happy you make those men when they finally get to fulfill their strongest desire.
Fuck what “society” says about what you are doing. Do those haters not have sex? Do they not watch porn? Do they not masturbate? Have they never felt arousal when looking at an attractive person? You know that all of them have felt that burning in their loins.
What you are doing for these men you meet is making their miserable lives bearable. You are giving them something to live for. That is more than your haters are doing for you.
If it benefits you and you get pleasure from doing it, even better. There are PLENTY of men who love “slutty” (I use that word in a positive way) women. Check our r/hotwife and you will see how many men would do anything to marry a promiscuous woman.
There’s an old saying “before you decide that you are a piece of shit, check to see that you aren’t surrounded by assholes first”
You ARE making people happy, and you are enjoying it. Why let other people’s shitty opinions stop you from that?
megthatsme: If this is starting to make you feel disgusting, I think you should stop. But is this *actually* making you feel disgusting or are you just worrying about what other people think? Because if you’re actually enjoying this than I don’t think you have anything to feel ashamed of!
If you decide to stop, then stop, but let go of all the self-hatred and guilt! What’s done is done and 7/8 men in the grand scheme of things… no one that genuinely cares about you is going to judge you for these numbers!
Blumouth: I’m going to be straight with you: you’re concerns are very real.
> I didn’t really mind any of this because I really do love sex
Whether or not this statement is important depends on your views on sex. If sex can be casual, fun, light, then this is fine. But if you are one of those people that can’t do casual flings then this could be an issue.
> My friends know I make money from meeting with guys, but I lie and tell them I don’t sleep with the men because they have expressed that they would judge me if I did
Do your friends feed you? Dress you? Shelter you? If the answer is no, then stop worrying about them. They don’t live your life, they haven’t walked a mile in your shoes. Worry about you.
> I’m basically working as a prostitute
Sorry kid, where I come from it sounds like what you do is escorting. Escorting is high end prostitution. If this is an issue for you, you know what you need to do.
> I feel like nobody could ever love this side of me and I’ll be forced to keep this secret to myself forever.
There are way more guys in the world that would run from your past then there are guys that wouldn’t. that just something you have to live with now. you can either omit this part of your life or tell them and hope they accept you as you are but understand that the chances of that happening are pretty slim.
Listen, only you can decided whether or not you want to do this. My only real issue is that you are super young. I have half a mind that you don’t even really know what you’re doing…and that’s the issue. if you were a 29F then i’d be like “more power to you” but you’re still a kid. you can’t even drink yet!(assuming you are in the states)
alfredo11234: Don’t be ashamed of this, everybody has problems of their own and you are impressive for being able to find a way to solve yours on your own, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing, you want money and you enjoy sex so you are smart enough to make a business out of this, life is too short to worry so much of what people may think.
So keep doing it as long as you feel you need it and you want it, just be safe.
And about finding a partner in the future, I can tell you for sure that every men is different , some may care of what you have done and some may not give a shit, just stand tall and be proud that you took a bad situation and found a solution for it.
Even if my girlfriend had slept with 1000 men before me I would not care (as long as she is healthy of course) if someone really loves they will love you no matter what
Hope this helps