Boyfriend (24M) doesn’t want to let me (23F) watch him masturbate because he masturbates in a “weird way”. I still want to watch him, though.
Together 3 months and have had sex for 3 weeks.
He likes watching me masturbate. Sometimes he starts fingering me and tells me to finger my clitoris and then slowly sits back and watches me. I like it a lot and would love seeing him do the same but he says he’s embarrassed of the way he masturbates?!
He was embarassed but explained he sort of makes a fist and presses his penis against his stomach and rubs up and down, so he he doesn’t really grab it but… grinds (?) his hand. He says he can’t come while fully grabbing his penis, it doesn’t work for him that way.
I admit I had never known of anyone masturbating this way but I actually am intrigued and want to see him please himself, but he is embarrassed.
Is there any way to get him to masturbate in front of me? I want to and really don’t care at all how he does it.
sumerioo: Dont pressure him. Just say that you would really like to see him doing it, that you don’t think nothing about him using a different technique to masturbate is weird and if he changes his mind to let you know and them give him some space.
Some people really struggle with things that seem silly for outsiders. Maybe it’s a body part they don’t like, maybe is some scars, maybe the non conventional way they do some action. But the thing is in most of those cases trying to be super reassuring is actually playing against yourself because Everytime you mention it your boyfrienday get more embarrassed and this just keep going downhill.
awesomeisbubbles: My bf thinks it’s weird that I want to watch too. I’ve worked around this by asking for him to cum on me (facials, my boobs, etc). That way I get to watch in a situation that he’s comfortable and it’s more of a 2 person activity.
Diablo165: So..you’re comfortable with masturbating in front of him. He’s into watching. You both win!
He’s not comfortable masturbating in front of you, but you’d be into watching. Unfortunately for you, his comfort is paramount. He said “no”. And that’s a complete sentence.
>Is there any way to get him to masturbate in front of me?
No. You need to respect that “no”, make it clear that if he changes his mind, you’re interested, and then drop it.
*Source: Am comfortable masturbating in front of my girlfriend, who is not comfortable masturbating in front of me. So I let her know I’d be interested if she changes her mind, and then dropped the topic.*
amethystmelange: If he doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t want to do it. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
fa_storya: I had something similar happen. My bf also felt self concious masturbating with me watching, despite me doing it all the time with him and wanting to watch him too.
So what we did was, I was laying down and him sitting by my legs. I was touching and him giving a helping finger. I asked for him to touch hinself and he did.
Since he was doing something to me and the activity wasnt focused on whatchig him (I had my eyes mostly closed and would peek a little, so hot to watch him), he felt confortable and went to town.
preonred: I’ve only ever seen one guy masturbate like that, and although it was different it was still sexy. Just tell him you get off on seeing him feel good rather than how he strokes it. But at the end of the day if he isn’t comfortable you can’t force it, it’ll only cause resentment.
Super901: To me, masturbation is private, meaning it’s an expression of my sexuality not to be shared. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to share, you definitely should not make him as it could be a violation of trust.
th3m4st4: I do it by squeezing and kind of the “normal” motion but it still looks weird to me and i feel self concious about it so i understand him
laurateen: Maybe give him a little time? I masturbate a few ways but until recently I used to grind my hand on a pillow and my ex would ask to see but it was embarrassing. Different now, I’d show anyone tbh but its just whatever they’re comfortable with. You can’t force him to show you.
bunnysmistress: I (20F) feel embarrassed masturbating in front of my SO. I usually grind on a chair to come, and I don’t think I look very sexy while doing it. I’ll usually touch myself in a more direct way with my fingers when I’m with him or showing off for him, but it doesn’t progress me as quickly (though after about 45 minutes of doing it on my own I have very powerful orgasms compared to my grinding ones (which can take as little as two minutes)).
Basically, he might just not feel as sexy when he does it, and I’d recommend letting him come out of his shell on his own time. Perhaps you could even blindfold (+headphones?) him so he doesn’t feel self conscious with you watching.
anon86158615: holy shit i totally did the same thing as he did for like a year, that will death grip your dick so bad, you kill all the nerves in the head of your penis. Buy that man a fleshlight and make sure he doesn’t fuck up his dick, took like 3 months to recover the nerves once i switched to normal technique with lubrication
Excuse_my_GRAMMER: He probably masturbates with a finder in his butt and is too scared of your judgement ways
0perose: I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.
You could try laying next to him and say you’ll just look at each other’s faces while you masturbate.
ThisDudeIsNoHomo: My girlfriend always asks me to watch too even though i think it’s weird. maybe he’s not into it sorry.
BeardsuptheWazoo: Don’t push him.
brokenpirate: The way he does it sounds kinda hot to watch, and if the thought of the way he masturbates turns you on then that’s what you should tell him, don’t ask him to do it if it’s making him feel awkward. Instead tell him how hot it it’s and you play with yourself to the thought of it maybe even during the act play with yourself and tell him while you do it then he will see your comfortable with it and he may join in feeling less pressure.
DunkenRage: I think i know what you mean but theres tottaly a way to masturbate normally and do what he does..
Hes simply putting pressure under his balls which forces the blood in his penis and he becomes extra hard, but the whole dick into stomach thing is just because he sticked with what worked in the first place..
I often put my hand under my balls and kinda sit on it and jerk away, or even put my boxers in a ball and sit on it and it makes me rock fucking hard, but i can jerk off lol.
See, do it for him, no need to form a fist, just put ur fingers below the balls and the anus and press there, and jerk him off, see the light shine in his eyes, and then tell him next time to do it for you so you can watch.
subbadubbdubb: Firstly, you definitely shouldn’t push him. But I think it wouldn’t be out-of-place for you to say that watching him enjoy himself is really hot, and if you see how he pleases himself, you can learn how to better please him. Most guys aren’t used to “performing”, so the idea of their SOs watching them is really odd and seems unappealing at first.
isn12: I can say i would love to do this with my girlfriend
mtdunca: I am a bisexual man and I still find the image of a guy masturbating disgusting, been married to a woman for years now and still will not let her watch me.
Coidzor: Sounds like a variant on prone masturbation. But if it’s not presenting any difficulties during partnered sex, I suppose it is what it is.
umlaute: It took me a very long time to be comfortable to masturbate in front of my gf as well. And it’s still something I’d rather not do.
The reason is that male masturbation has always only been described as gross, weird, pathetic, off-putting, desperate and a bunch of other negative things. So I kind of struggle with the concept that someone might want to see it.
So maybe try suggesting a scenario where the spotlight isn’t that much on him. If you just sit in front of him and he has to masturbate, that’s likely the least appealing way to do things if he’s not fully comfortable.
bearown: What the fuck? Imagine if the genders were reversed. The guy wants to watch his gf masturbate but she doesn’t want him to. It’s obvious, respect his fucking boundaries!
kcinaz: Start masturbating in front of him. Really pour it on with sexiness. Then tell him how much you want him to do it to. Practically beg him to touch himself and tell him how horny it makes him.
gonzo_1291: He probably uses the stranger technique.
brunette-barbie-620: You can tell him it doesn’t matter how he does it, just seeing him pleasure himself will turn you on.
Sinnocence37F: Give him a lap dance and don’t let him touch you 🙂 you can touch him but he can’t touch you. I’m always curious to see how a guy masturbates and it’s never even occurred to me to ever ask, I just do that and it works.
luke1715: Tell him you think it’s hot and or offer him a reward if he does it, you could offer him a special BJ or something if he shows you