Ladies, Would you be comfortable with your boyfriend having a Fleshlight?
I’m really curious on the ladie’s thoughts here. I certainly wouldn’t mind my lady to have some toys 🙂
throwitaway1596: Yeah! I suggested it to him, read on here an idea from someone who said the gf can sit on the bf’s face while she uses it on him. We could simulate a threesome 🙂 I thought the idea was genius
meltallica82: Sure, I’d be totally comfortable with that. The only time it would become an issue is if he preferred it over sex.
ostiarius: Just a reminder that people who are subscribed to a sex forum are probably a little more open to the idea than your average person.
Pelagial: I asked if my wife would be ok with it because she has a low sex drive and I wasn’t coping very well. She actually thought it was a great idea and I got one. It’s great but doesn’t compare with the real thing of course. It’s still you jerking it, just feels a heap better. Gotta clean the thing every time which makes it a bit more of a production, so it’s only used every once in a while.
PizzaForBreakfast10: Of course. If I have a vibrator why shouldn’t I be cool with him having a flesh light.
iLikeToKeepMySexAnon: I tried to convince mine to get one all the time. Like, toys are so much better than hands.
Eventually, I finally just bought him a tenga flip hole and he admitted I was right and continues to buy his own stuff now.
Kit4000: Yes.I have toys so can he.
cindylou09097878: Yes – definitely. I think healthy couples need an active sex life together – and also healthy alone times – where they re-familiar themselves with self-pleasure.
rlroyal52: Of course. It’d be a pretty insecure woman to have issue with sex toys for personal use.
Thats pretty sad.
fruit_loopies: I encourage my husband to have toys. He didn’t care for the fleshlight.
We didn’t start with toys until a few years into our marriage to spice things up. It worked!
I might have an issue if he all of the sudden started a collection. I think he would feel the same about me.
puck_lopez: Speaking from a ” male Friends ” personal experience. His girl freaked out when she found his. Made a big scene she screamed yelled cried Called him a pervert and questioned the necessity of her vagina if he had this thing among other things.
rusty_rampage: My wife found mine and had a big meltdown about it. I have found many women feel *very* threatened by the Fleshlight. It really is a fascinating case study in sexual insecurity and control.
Most women I have been with are more than willing to bring vibrators or dildos into the mix in the bedroom but absolutely will not entertain using a fleshlight or other stroker on me.
My wife just pretends I don’t have it. I use it once in a while to break up the monotony of my daily jack off, but they honestly are only marginally better than using my hand and cleanup is a pain in the ass because I can’t leave it out to sit dry or she will see it.
BasemntGhost: (if I had a boyf) HELL FUCKING YES!!! Some of my most favporn is watching guys fuck the Fleshlight ice. Ugh. So hot
WeirdGrowth: Yes, I’d be fine with it and we actually have looked at the Tenga line to play with together. But we have GREAT open, humorous, loving and clear sex communication, we involve each other in our sex toys. If you don’t, you’ll only end up with resentments and hurt feelings. I wouldn’t be happy with him buying sex toys for himself without talking to me about it, and I wouldn’t do that behind his back either.
CrazyIrina: Yep! I support pleasure of most any nature. I used to get my BF’s Tenga ones as presents.
MissionAnything: Absolutely! If I get to have toys why shouldn’t he?
_cervixen_: I would love my husband to have toys because maybe that would mean he’s opening up sexually but he has zero interest.
midnightagenda: Absolutely. I bought a tenga , not the flip for my husband a few months ago because I bought my self a real vibrator. He said it felt good but he didn’t really like it but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he still used it while I was gone with the kid for a month over Christmas. And now that I’m pregnant sex is gonna be off the table in a few months when it gets uncomfortable and after the birth so… I’m glad he’s got something.
Birds1010: Of course! I have my toys, as does he. I’m actually thinking of buying him one. Maybe even using it on him. I think it’s hot as hell.
temptedthedevil: Mhm! Bought my guy one for Christmas one year.
My_Frozen_Heart: I’ve been looking to get him one for his birthday, lol.
FitMumofThree: Yes. That way we can do threesome role play but using a toy. Or I can use it on him.
NinaBanana: Yeah why not?!
finmeister: I wouldn’t give a shit. He masturbates anyway and so do I. As long as it doesn’t interfere with our sex together, cool. Go nuts. Sex and masturbation are different things that serve different purposes.
Actually I don’t know that he *doesn’t* have toys. I’ve never asked because it doesn’t matter. It’s also pretty much none of my business.
prismaticbeans: I’m down. I bought him one, and he likes it all right, but he definitely doesn’t love it. My other dude, meanwhile, has owned a few cheaper masturbators, and he loves them. He’s worn a couple out, and I’m considering getting him another one soon.
clickyourheels: If your partners have toys or want toys, but are insecure about you having toys, that’s a big red flag. Double standard. Discuss it with them. Maybe if you start with using the toy with them, it will alleviate their anxiety.
thegngirl: Sure why not??? I’m just not gonna be the one to clean it!!!
FromTheIvoryTower: I don’t see why not~!
SamDare2: Uh, yeah
mia_papaya: Who would have a problem with this… and why?
clickyourheels: Of course! If I have a Hitachi, vibes and toys of all sorts, why shouldn’t my guy have whatever toys he chooses? I enjoy using toys with a partner. If you’re feeling insecure because of a toy, you need more communication with your partner.
KatagatCunt: Hell yeah. I bought my ex husband (before we split) one when I was pregnant with our child because I couldn’t stand to be touched. He loved it and we incorporated it into our sex life regularly up until we split.
CaptinSuspenders: I wouldn’t find it weird or be grossed out at all, but as my libido always seems to outmmatch my partner’s I’d feel a little jealous. That cum was supposed to be mine u know? :'(
joe-ducreux: Before we were married, my wife bought me one
hurrem-hutan: Yup. Just make sure to use a LOT of lube.
DoeBites: What he does to jerk off isn’t my business or concern. I have a fuckload of toys and they’ve never bothered him even a little bit, I don’t see why the reverse would be any different. Plus if we both have toys meant for our bodies it gives us both an excuse to use those toys on each other during sex. Win-win.
beckilynn: Yes! But I would rather him do me 😉
KiraJane213: “Not allowing” your partner to have toys is strangely insecure and possessive. Who are you to say how they spend their free time.
ojibwebunny: Yeah of course. Why not?
anakikills: My husband has one, and some other toys
tumult_Vpon: Well, I have my own sex toys so why shouldn’t he??
Occasionallypresent: My partner asked me that and I said of course! I’ve got a couple vibrators, why should I begrudge him a toy? I told him he’s welcome to get whatever kind of toy he’d like. Once he got one, he let me poke at it and we both laughed at how different it is from what we’re more familiar with (female toys). It’s been no big deal since then. He said the same thing others here have said, that cleaning it each time makes it a little more tedious, but it’s nice to have on hand.
mountainofun: He jerks off anyways due to bigger libido, so why not? I don’t see it changing anything 🙂
buttbutt_city: Absolutely! I think it’d be fascinating. Honestly I’d be down with kissing his neck while he jerked it
dlopez412: Everybody seems to be ok with it but I honestly don’t think I would be. In my case the script is flipped and I am the one with the high sex drive and my husband has a low sex drive. We literally only have sex 3 times a month and for me that’s definitely not enough. And yes I have honestly and openly spoken to him about it. He always says the same thing. That he’ll do better, but it’s always the same, every month. I always want more, so if I were to find him with any kind of toy I would assume that it’s not really that he’s “just tired” or “just not in the mood”. I’d assume that it’s just me he doesn’t want….which is kind of how I feel already considering the whole 3 times a month thing.
cacacaCaiti: I would be pretty uncomfortable with that. *shrug*
Sawasr50: conveniently. it’s very good and sexy.
needing-you-now-plz: I mean yes but I also hope we’d reach a point where we could just fuck all day at any time sooooo. But yes. More fun.
lKezia: I was aloud to get one. I had a hire sex drive then my partner so I’ll try and do it with her. If she says no my ass goes to other room, turns some porn on, and fuck that Fleshlight. If she can have toys than I can too. (:
TheFirstUranium: I just wanted to say mine really wanted me to get one so we could use it together. I actually got one and she “just can’t take it seriously” which honestly, I can’t blame her for. I mean, it is a giant fake pussy after all.
Anyhow, it doesn’t get much use since I can’t use it at home and she just starts giggling any time she sees it. Oh well :/
Avocationist: I bought one for my husband, but he only used it once. He didn’t like it.
pissed_Off_Unicorn: Yes why not ?
BumWarrior69: Keep in mind that this is a very sex positive community and people outside of Reddit may not feel the same way.
WhereYouGoinSnek: I know my boyfriend’s got one. I don’t mind.
NonpersonalSofty: Im comfortable with that actually. Been thinking of buying him one in the future. Porn, fleshlight, masturbation, or whatever it is, as long as theres no third party involved, I think theres nothing to be mad about.
amburka: What the fuck is this even?
Ladies, do you care if your man pleasures himself… by himself?
Fucking hell. Its manufactured FFS. If they mind… they need to grow the fuck up.
WildWellington: My wife told me to buy one. I think she just finds it kinda funny.
tallorai: I bought him one! 😛
RemotelyPink: I’ve bought exes fleshlights
gingerly_said: COMPLETELY! I think it’s weird and wrong that women can have a treasure chest of toys and people want to make it weird for a man to have one. It’s your body, use it the way you want to. Solo time is fun and important and as long as it’s not impeding on together time (and this goes for either party) then absolutely! Have fun!
melabethfasth: I bought one for my boyfriend for christmas so yea
Latisha0510: Actually just bought one a couple of days ago. Best investment ever !
pianoplayer1216: I’d definitely be comfortable with it. I’d probably ask to watch lol
tonemtegrof: Yes! I actually bought one for my ex for his birthday because I wanted to know how it felt compared to the real thing and he was less interested. After using it on him, although he never used it again, he actually really enjoyed it! The best part was that he felt pampered sexually and that made us both really happy!
SomeBeardedBastard: When I (M) was with my ex, we had gone to sex store. Mostly just to look around, but also to get her a (new) vibrator. We came across the shelf that had fleshlights and I had made a comment about maybe getting one, and she was absolutely 100% against it. She said it was like cheating. I had asked what the difference was between me having a flashlight and her having vibrators. No response.
CarnalMaze: I bought my bf one but he was too big and it ripped.
fauxnombreaqui: I bought one for my ex (no, toys are not why we broke up).
altocerous: yes please! Can I watch him use it? EVEN BETTER
curious_george18: Curious to know – how do you envision him using it ? Always with you or can he use it alone ? Would you feel ok if you woke up in the middle of the night and found him using it ? How about that, and with him watching some porn? How about all of this on a night you guys have a nasty argument ? Would you be able to handle all that ?
pomegranateskin: Ya, as long as it wasn’t super realistic looking because I find them creepy. Thankfully he does too.
AllThoseSadSongs: I wanna play too!
loobot3000: Yes, so long as he was open about it and didn’t try to hide it from me (I have an ex who did this and it just seemed immature). I’d be down for using it on him too. So long as it never gets in the way of our intimacy (doubtful) then it’s not a problem.
Edit: Ooh, I’ve seen a few people saying they would want to watch their dude use it. Yes.