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I cannot have an orgasm and guys get irritated.
I am 26 years old, and have plenty of sexual experience. I have never had an orgasm during sex. I can only have an orgasm by myself by fantasizing and pressing on my clit very hard. I will cum in one to two minutes that’s way, but it doesn’t work during sex. My ex boyfriend would get very irritated. He stopped being as interested in sex after about 5 months because he said the fact that I never came made it feel pointless..he’s the type that gets off by his partner getting of. The guy I am currently sleeping with tells me constantly that he wants me to cum for him, but I know I never will and I don’t know how to help guys understand this. It would be great if I could just figure out how to orgasm, but I’ve tried everything. It’s not like sex isn’t still amazing, because it is. I can have sex 5 times a day, I have a high drive. It’s amazing every time, but I never cum. Any girls have advice or similar experience? And I am curious why it bothers guys so much that I don’t cum..they still do and I enjoy it so I don’t see the huge issue
Tootimid2018: I just date guys that also don’t need an orgasm to enjoy sex, or they at least understand where I am coming from. I have been lucky to meet a few guys who agree with me that orgasms don’t define sex.
I feel you, because a guy getting annoyed at you can make things worse. Pressuring myself to cum has never worked. One thing about myself is that I cum quicker in serious relationships that NSA. If an nsa partner gets mad at me, there’s not enough emotional intimacy there.
I just keep reassuring people that I still have a good time, but I’d a guy keeps getting mad at me? We aren’t a good match and I am saying bye.
Coidzor: If you want to experiment with other ways, you’re probably going to need to lay off with such intense pressure on your clitoris for a good while first.
Part of many men’s ego is based upon satisfying their partner.
The dominant narrative right now is that only shitty lovers leave their female partner unsatisfied and without orgasming.
Another contributing factor is that sex is a lot hotter and more enjoyable for many men when their partner orgasms. I hear rumors that some women also are more satisfied by sex when their partner orgasms as well as them getting theirs.
uk_ex: Been with my wife for over 40 years, she’s the same. Even when she was seeing our best friend who could keep going ‘for hours’, she never had a PIV climax.
We just enjoy what we have.
Provyghost78: I’ve been with my girlfriend for 6 years and she can’t orgasm from sex either. It’s always with vibrators. Makes me upset thatch can’t get her off and a piece of plastic can 🙁 neither of us can figure it out, we just live with it
Biggmike123: They have a big ego and if they can’t please you then it’s like a snack to there face.
ikilldinosaurs: Hey. I’m you in two years.
I’ve never cum. Period. I still love sex and masturbating, tho. I’ve said this before, but it’s like reading an amazing book that I just haven’t got to the end yet.
It has ruined every single one of my intimate relationships. My last boyfriend at around 5 months read some shit on Snapchat about how a guy can focus better after making a woman cum, and blamed me for him not being able to concentrate at work.
It’s come to the point where like… I’ve been dating a new guy for a month now and we haven’t had sex yet because I just don’t want to broach the subject. I have considered faking it, but don’t even really know how to do that.
Basically, I guess I just wanted to commiserate with someone who also gets this. I don’t understand why my inability, despite it not affecting my desire for sex, somehow makes a dude feel less manly. From my pov, it just allows me to make sex all about him.
Whatever. Hope we find some good advice in this thread.
wiseguy201a: My wife had 10 years of sexual experience before I met her. She had never cum either. Now she does all the time. It may just be a matter of time and finding the right guy to do it for you. Have you tried showing your SO what makes you cum?
aeyrie2: Why does it bother guys so much? I wonder that myself. And it is frustrating to me that it makes so many women feel like they’re doing something wrong when it’s perfectly normal. I can orgasm but hate it. More often than not, it’s painful for me.
I’ve had very open conversations with my bf about it (also one of the get-off-by-getting-my-partner-off ilk) and he’s been very understanding. It is more important to him that we both have a great experience than for him to feel he has slain that particular dragon.
I find that edging is great but not actual climax so he’s just now re-established his goal: how long can he edge me without getting me off? So long as I enjoy the sex, he’s happy – even without me reaching orgasm.
As with almost everything in this sub – communication is key. Maybe ask to show him what you like by having him watch you get off – then roll right into sex (not the other way around or he’s going to feel inadequate). You both might find the outcome surprising.
Good luck working through this!