A friend of a friend groped me in my “sleep” last night and I don’t know what to do or think
My friend Molly’s brother Mark was in town last night so a group of us had plans to go out. Molly and I live about an hour away from where we were going, so we booked a hotel. Mark invited his friend Klein who I had never met before (I actually never met Mark before either). I ended up getting really drunk (I totally own up to this) and made out with Klein at one of the bars.
I didn’t really interact with Klein outside of that, but he ended up following Molly and I to our hotel. Since three people were sharing a room I thought nothing of it and assumed that he would sleep on the couch. I was still pretty drunk and passed out on the bed, but about two hours later I woke up to Klein pulling my shirt up. I have been sexually assaulted before by a relative in a very similar situation (I was “asleep”) about ten years ago so I was pretty scared and just laid still. Klein put his mouth on my nipples. I laid still for I don’t know how long but I eventually rolled away from him (still pretending to be asleep). About two minutes later (I’m guessing, not totally sure) he turned my body towards him again a little. I wouldn’t consider it forceful but it definitely wasn’t gentle. I again turned and laid flat on my stomach and “went back to sleep”. About ten minutes later he started kissing me on my ass and groping it and then I’m assuming he fell asleep. I passed out again and woke up to him pulling open my legs with with his. At this point I got up and went to the bathroom and when I returned, I laid down further away from him. He didn’t touch me the rest of the night.
I guess my issue is that I KNOW I should have said something. And maybe making out with him before led him to believe that I’d be open to messing around, but I really don’t know why he would do that when I was very clearly asleep and unable “consent” I guess. Am I being too sensitive?
artemisinfur: no, you are not being too sensitive. consent is not a free-for-all; it’s on-going. saying yes to someone once, regarding one particular act, does not give them permission regarding anything else, and nothing gives them any right to your body.
you are not being too sensitive, and you did not lead him on. proceed however you like, and deal with it however you need to, whatever that may look like for you.
Antistotle: That gives every indication of being sexual assault.
>I guess my issue is that I KNOW I should have said something.
Saying STOP would have been utterly appropriate. Especially since other people were in the room.
> Am I being too sensitive?
No. In this situation you shouldn’t be polite or quiet.
Funguy415: No you’re not being too sensitive at all. I don’t have much advice other than try to figure out why you felt you couldn’t speak up and stop him/ call him out before he kept doing it.
Your friends should know that he did this, if you can manage to tell them/confront him.
I’m sorry that happened to you.
There was no consent just because you made out with him earlier.
As a fan of sleep sex and the like, I would never do something like this without clear, sober, prior consent and never with someone I just met.
James_Vanderson: Guy weighing here. I’m a pretty big perv but boundries are boundries. At no point should you feel the need to be polite about this. This is assult plain and simple.
porpsi: Not being too sensitive, that’s completely out of order and you have every right to be upset about it.
thr0wawayeeeee: fuk, fam.
never hang w klein again, dude is rape-y
RabidusUnus: Nope, he’s a piece of garbage. Say something, bring it up to the cops, you’re probably not the first and if he keeps getting away with it, you won’t be the last
Username4418: He’s a piece of shit and you should go ahead and tell your friend so she doesn’t give him the opportunity to do the same thing to her. I don’t know how drunk he was, but that’s not acceptable at all.
I’m just curious though about why the heck you didn’t say something in the moment? That’s not to put any of the blame on you. I’m just curious as to why?
anymanblue: Call the police.